how to become unselfconscious?

[tenzo]

Hey everybody,

Self-consciousness has been the worst enemy for me and my fellow rafc's, it had helped me in many ways but had irritated me more. It's one of the most things that is keeping me away from socializing and being more happy in life. So, I just wanted some tips to become more aware on the outside and become less self-conscious and have 'the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide' as the narrator in fight club said..

Tenzo,

 

[tenzo]

sorry for bumping, but I think my question is better taking a place in the first page than mr.cardio's flaming posts..

I hope someone answers my question soon

 

[john_1234]

when a comedian is on stage, you know how there's a spotlight directed at him?

now picture that spotlight on a swivel. you're self conscious because in your head, that spotlight is always directed on you. when you're talking to a girl for instance, rather than the spotlight being on her, it's on you. you're probably wondering all sorts of things: did i say the right thing? is there a booger in my nose? etc. you feel this energy as if the whole entire world has eyes drawn on you. you have to reverse this and see it from a totally different angle.

picture that spotlight changing direction. it's not on you anymore, but it's on that girl for instance. all focus is on her now since the spotlight is on her, not you. wow, she just said something dumb. is that a booger i see in her nose? etc. the spotlight is on her. you already said that you want to be more aware of the outside. that's what it all comes down to. remember that your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. when you're at a social event, don't focus on yourself. focus on other people and the environment: nice ass over there, cool shirt that dude has wonder where he bought it, what track is that dj droppin?, etc. you get the idea