"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How to be Alpha...

L777

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Heyjose25points

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I've wondered for a while of what defined Alpha....does Society be the one to dictate who is alpha and who isn't or is it ur own inner self that defines that? Plus, even if some of us who become what society says Alpha is...would we truly be happy still? I think that is something we all need to figure out.
 
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I've always thought these is it me or is it them kind of inquiries kind of pointless, the social psychology equivalent of "How Many Angels Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?"

Clearly it must come from within; if you feel bad about yourself and, worse, feel bad about yourself for value reasons that society shares in common with your own values, then you won't be Alpha and you won't do well. Also if you think you're awesome and everyone sucks, you might have a lot of self esteem, but that doesn't mean you'll get laid. You might just sit at home and admire your color coordinated Star Trek uniforms. As Wittgenstein famously said, "There is no such thing as a private language."

It's a bit of everything: social value, self confidence, evolutionary biology, chemistry, etc. But at the end of the day, if you alone think you're Alpha but no one else does, you're not. Because if you are, it will be recognized. You can't set out to be what people want. That's true. You might even find a quiet dignity in just "being yourself." But if you want to be Alpha and get lots of women, others should recognize it, and if you're on the right track in the way of self improvement and aura you'll hear people say things like I've heard in the last week:

"You're so confident; I like that."
"You would never go for a loser like me."
"I love you."
"I've become a **** junkie and my only fix is your ****."
"You're the only guy I know who is enjoying being single."
"You're so funny."
"Here's my number. Call me."
 

rrrrr

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I think Alpha is confidence, doing what you want without fear of embarrasment, ridicule, or attack on others, going for what you want, not giving in to others, going for yourself, having things your way, basically not yeilding to others when it takes from you.

I was at the bar with this girl, it was crowded, and we were standing at a table, and she was telling me things like: Don't move for other people. Don't move for girls, if they want to bump into you, let them. This because we were standing there, at a table conversating. I would think this as being an example of Alpha. A beta would move around, try to get out of everyone's way, etc even when standing at a table. This is an example of just how hard it is to fake confidence, because if at the very core, you're beta, not confident, you will be uncovered, and you will look even worse, because you are trying to pretend. But if you try to improve confidence, everything else will come. Even small things like moving for people at a table will reveal just what your mindset really is, and it will contradict the image you are trying to put off. You can't fake confidence, plain and simple, you have to be confident, you have to go for yourself, put yourself first, in a way.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bigfatasspimp

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give a B1tch a big ass pimp hand.
that is alpha
 
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RRRR there are two ways to be alpha, you can be a wolf or a sheep dog, but not a sheep. This is why even abusive *******s are "Alpha" in their own way. But there's no reason you have to be an *******. You can appear strong by being generous to the weak people around you, but making it clear you're doing it out of pity, compassion, magnanimity, etc. This is why a true Alpha like James Bond is also impeccably polite. The whole concept of chivalry and politeness is that you're bad ass, you can kill anyone, you are willing to throw down, but you use your strength to protect the weak from the wolves, the abusive *******s.

So, as for moving or not, I'm not sure, I wasn't there. But it sounds like your dopey friend doesn't know the difference between Wolves and Sheep-Dogs and confusedly thinks you have to be a Wolf just to be a man. You don't.

One of the better books along these lines was available at Brooks Brothers a few years ago, entitled, "As a Gentleman Would Say." It just basically shows how to smooth over social situations and make people comfortable without being a wimp.
 

Fortunate_Juan

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Great article. It's thought provoking. When I got to this thread I thought it was going to be the same ol stuff. This is refreshing. Thank you for relaying it, and to those who haven't read it, it is something to consider so do your self a favor.
 

L777

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Bump. This should be read
 

Nighthawk

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Good stuff. I like the idea that being an alpha is an ongoing journey to a state of grace, that will never be complete.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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