How the f*ck do you not care about what others think of you?

[SayWhat]

Every time I go out and have a few beers, I feel confident as ever, I talk to everyone and I do not give a crap what they think of me, I just have a good time with me and my closest friends and this tends to brings more friends to me.

But when I'm sober and for example I have class where you are graded on participation, I'm quiet as sh*t, I've had relationships gone wrong just because I'm stamped as "the silent guy". When afterwards I've had a few drinks and think about that particular class, everything comes into place, I could have said that, why didn't you say that,...

It's easier said then done to do not care about what others think and I really want to be able to achieve this.

I need some help on this.

 

[Sociowhat?]

They nicknamed alcohol "liquid courage" for a reason.

It all comes down to self perception. How do you perceive your self when you talk, stare in the mirror, talk to people, or dress?

Some people like myself are just naturally quiet and calm, and it's not a bad thing. It's just annoying in the those certain circumstances where you feel you shouldn't be this quiet, shy, silent guy.

As a person you build barriers or walls that protect your self esteem and image from other peoples opinions. You view these people only in a negative light, possibly even being to judge mental of them, without truly knowing the person. We all do it to a certain degree, and I think you should step back and ask your self how much you judge other people. Those who are quick to judge others are also quick to think everyone else is doing the same.

 

[zekko]

But when I'm sober and for example I have class where you are graded on participation, I'm quiet as sh*t, I've had relationships gone wrong just because I'm stamped as "the silent guy". When afterwards I've had a few drinks and think about that particular class, everything comes into place, I could have said that, why didn't you say that,....

Well, you could start going to class drunk, but that's probably not the best idea...

 

[Don-Kong]

Accept it. Then make fun of it. If you allow it to destroy you, then it will.

"Yeah i'm the quiet guy, but was blessed with a big ****adoodledo!"
Anchor yourself on inner qualities, internal locus of control. You probably totally overlook them. It sounds like you wanna participate, so it's about learning to express that energy inside, getting it out. Not easy, but self-compassion is powerful bro

 

[JohnChops]

Well, you could start going to class drunk, but that's probably not the best idea...

You'd be surprised, I took a biochem exam tipsy, it was interesting. I was hitting on my teacher to, she's pretty hot lol, now she smiles when I see her up in the lab.

 

[JoeMarron]

Start small. Make it as simple as looking at the professor when he's lecturing. Greet people with eye contact. If you think of something to say say it within three seconds. Stop hesitating and over thinking everything. Practice having random conversations on internet chat rooms if you have to. Also, try a magnesium supplement such as this. Perhaps it'll chill you out and allow you to be as social sober as you are wasted.

 

[FairShake]

Get older. Remember that, life has a way of getting in the way of our petty anxieties. Not to put down what you feel as petty because it's very real but when bills, kids, death, taxes, and wives come into play this type of stuff will fall to the side.

Stop expecting yourself to always have the right answer, the funny quip, the best conversation. Some people do, but most of us don't. Embrace your introversion and silence...but also embrace the positives that come with it. You are probably a very loyal friend as opposed to a popular guy who has limited friendships with everyone. You are an observer who figures out the angles before you engage.

Finally, YOU remember your awkwardness longer than other people do. I can be a pretty awkward guy at first (and really, forever) but I've learned that most people don't care all that much. They treat interactions singularly and so should you. There's always another night at the bar and another class.

 

[TheGambino]

uhm you just dont? haters gonna hate, give them a reason to hate you.

Go to the gym, take care of yourself, chase your dreams, be happy and surround yourself by people that actually like you