how should i tackle this beast?

[randalll]

who here has let something from yesterday, ruin today?
i've done this today, i know i shouldn't let things from the past get me down but it's so difficult to get yourself into a good mood again

what happened yesterday might not seem that bad, i just went to a bar to meet a few people, (most of them i dont know very well)

but i was awkward, my anxiety was obvious, stopping me from joining in with conversations, and i didn't feel like i connected with anyone at all, people were just uninterested whenever i spoke. (not trying to get people interested in me btw, just want to reach a point where i'm happy with my social-ness, or whatever you want to call it)

i've read so much material over the past few months/year and put it into practice, but it hasn't become a part of my personality, i haven't improved, i'm still not living in the now, i'm still not happy with myself, change seems impossible

i've never been good with people, and at the moment i feel totally disconnected from everyone and everything, and after so much effort to make a positive change it's destroying me

where does someone go from here??

 

[WC2]

Sh!t doesn't become natural till you make it a habit.

Reading a bunch of advice may steer you in the right direction, but it's your job to put your foot on the gas. From there, the goal is keep pushing until you've finally reached cruise control where you can coast without thinking about it.

We call this HABIT.

For instance, if you make a habit of walking into a bar and not approaching everyone, you never will.

If you start doing this tomorrow, maybe it will incline you to do it the next time.

If you do it for a week, a month straight, it will become habit.

As simple as that. There's no magic pill, just repetition that will get you to your goal.

Try this on for size :

Next time you go to a bar, say hello to everyone, give them a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a handshake, WHATEVER it is that you do. Then pick a random person you know and ask them how they've been, how school is going, what they're drinking, what else they like to drink, WHATEVER it is that you talk about.

Do this to everyone you see the whole night.

Now, this is in no way how you game women, but it does make a HABIT of talking to people.

Once you become comfortable around people, your confidence will naturally shoot up and this is when you start moving your feet around and going past your boundaries and taking risks. Joking with women. Telling women that they should dress more like you. Creating laughter, whatever.

The idea is to get in the habit of being comfortable so you can start taking risks and living on your EDGE.

Imagine a knife. The dull end is you when you're boring and the tip is your when you're spontaneous. When you fall off the knife on the sharp end, you've maybe gone a little too far. The idea is to LEAN on the EDGE of the sharp tip and take risks without going too far. Once you've taken a risk, pull back and regain your balance. Then go back in for another risk.

With every risk you take, your knife gets larger. Before you know it, the risks you took before are just you when you're yourself, in the middle of the knife.

We call this improvement.

The last thing to do is make improvement a habit.

 

[darkstarrr]

How are you feeling lately? If you are not boisterous with joy you are not going to have joy dripping off of you so to speak. If you are feeling down in the dumps or just bla then that is the vibe you are going to give off. Picture a woman who is happ-go-lucky and a woman who is depressed. Which one are you going to be more inclined to have a conversation with?

Its no mystery that "they" say it can be dangerous for your mental health to be around people who are severely depressed. The same goes for being around people who are generally happy and positive. Just like you are what you eat; surrounding yourself with positive, optimistic, happy, and constructive people will have a better effect on you than surrounding yourself with drug addicts.

With that being said, what can you do to improve your mood? Do you exercise? That releases "good"chemicals in your body that promote feeling of well being. Where do you live? It being the winter time are you getting enough sunlight? Perhaps hitting the gym and the tanning booth would help to boister your mood. Also, as previously referenced, eating power foods and a having a wide variety diet can also play an important role in your overall feeling of well being.

The only other thing I can suggest is to try to meet new people and surround yourself with several different social circles. I know it can be tough.

Good luck.