legolas
Master Don Juan
I haven't tried that many patterns in my life but the ones I do try, they seem to lead somewhere. I just always forget to follow up and anchor in the end. I thought about them for a little bit and found out how they actually work.
First of all the other person has to have the assumption that what you're saying is meaningful to you. If you just blabber stuff they'll smell the canned food and drive away. If I say "With some people you have to be really careful in dealing with, while with others you just seem to get along just fine." then the other person has to make the assumption that I'm referring to someone for real in my experience while they find their own examples.
If they knew I was just saying that to get them to see me as a person that is easy to get along with, they'll of course feel cheated and turn the tables on me.
Second of all, most natural patterns are completely undetectable and it all seems like a normal conversation, while the canned stuff just sounds too bizarre. I've tried long patterns before that never worked.
Third, patterns work in pieces. You never just stand there and recite sentence after sentence of process instructions. You say a few lines, and then gauge how they are responding, and maybe feed off of that response to something totally unrelated to the pattern, and then you get back to it.
Like SexPDX suggested, always break up your stories to see how they're reacting and with patterns remember to anchor the good responses to something that you can use later, like maybe a word.
First of all the other person has to have the assumption that what you're saying is meaningful to you. If you just blabber stuff they'll smell the canned food and drive away. If I say "With some people you have to be really careful in dealing with, while with others you just seem to get along just fine." then the other person has to make the assumption that I'm referring to someone for real in my experience while they find their own examples.
If they knew I was just saying that to get them to see me as a person that is easy to get along with, they'll of course feel cheated and turn the tables on me.
Second of all, most natural patterns are completely undetectable and it all seems like a normal conversation, while the canned stuff just sounds too bizarre. I've tried long patterns before that never worked.
Third, patterns work in pieces. You never just stand there and recite sentence after sentence of process instructions. You say a few lines, and then gauge how they are responding, and maybe feed off of that response to something totally unrelated to the pattern, and then you get back to it.
Like SexPDX suggested, always break up your stories to see how they're reacting and with patterns remember to anchor the good responses to something that you can use later, like maybe a word.