How much verbal assurance?

[Glenfiddich101]

I'm just wondering how much verbal assurance do you give a girl you're dating.

This girl and i have both confessed our likings for each other but her's was earlier than mine. Then some **** happen and i felt she was not to be taken seriously.

She asked me a couple of times if a genuienly liked her or i if wanted be her man.

I know it sounds crazy, but i do not know how to answer qns like that sometimes.

If she had gotten her act togerther, i would have been more obliged to be honest with her. But all she does is talk but no action.

So what gives?

 

[NRM]

You don't need to give ANY verbal assurance. Your assurance should be SHOWN not TOLD. Don't ask questions when you know what the answer will be, told tell obvious things as answers. Play it off and joke about it.

Look at it this way.

Girl: Would you ever cheat on me?
You: Of course not, I love you [huggles].

Boo.

What's the other possible answer?

Girl: Would you ever cheat on me?
You: I don't know yet, I'll have to see when the time comes.

Good job fucking yourself over. You should never admit your feelings to a woman, that's just so sissy. You kiss her, you touch her, you show her that you are interested. You take time out of your busy schedule to take her out on dates. Come on, be a man. You say she talks, but no action. What you want is action, the talk is unnecessary.

Now if she isn't showing how much she likes you, expect it, or drop her. Actions speak volumes louder than words. If she asks,

Girl: Do you genuwinely like me or just want to be my man?
You: Who said you could be my woman?

If you treat her in a way that she feels like you're a good boyfriend, you should be able to pull that off without problem. Along with the whole C+F skit. If you expect actions over words, you should do the same. Don't give her what she wants. Give her what you want to give her because she deserves it.

 

[Glenfiddich101]

"You don't need to give ANY verbal assurance. Your assurance should be SHOWN not TOLD" Amen brother

The NRM, your post was very enlightening and i could really relate to it.

One thing abt this girl is that she hardly wants to meet up. It seems she is more comfortable with email or phone text. When i ask her out its either shes with her good friend or busy with something else. The best part was she rather meet up for dinner with a friend of mine than have coffee with me.

A few examples of how i answered her questions

Her :so shall i take it to say that you are nice to be because you genuinely want to be nice because you like me? *beam*

Me:I'm always nice to the pple i like. It doesnt mean that a hard ass punk like me aint got a gentle, charming, ladies man side to him ya know. You on the other hand have not been very nice to me. Its high time you start making up for it.


Her: Do you want to be the man whom deserves my efforts?

Me: Hey, if you're willing to give me some of your 'corrective magic', i might sign up for some rehab.

She told me that i'm too ambigious and chauvinistic by my replies. It seems that she's waiting from my reply before making her next move. And thats frustrating.

She told me she likes and cares for me a few times but i yet to see any action from her at all. Its just all freaking talk. I always like expressing my affections from actions but shes not giving me a chance too. And i'm affectionate judging from our previous dates. Email/sms can be too cold in my opinion.

We have reached a point where's theres too much tension to carry on and i've next her. She emailed me today asking abt my weekend. I really cldnt be bothered.

Sometimes i wonder if it was my C/F replies that drove her away in the first place and that is affecting my confidence.

 

[NRM]

A girl that is truely interested in a male will break her rules. She will do whatever it takes in her power to gain his interest. She shouldn't have been interogating you in that fashion in the first place. There should have been a way you worked around it so it wouldn't end up that way.

But truthfully, I doubt a few questions is enough to drive a woman away. If a girl is truely interested, she'll jump at the opportunity to hang out with you. Think about it. You'd do the same. Phone and TXT are so common and easy to use and it's barely a waste of time for women. But it's a big waste of time to you.

Any girl that doesn't want to see you isn't worth it. You did a good job of nexting her, but I think there's more behind it than the verbal assurance stuff. She just wasn't as attracted to you as she should have been for you two to maintain a relationship.