"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How much ex boyfriend can you take?

bigneil

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All girls have some ex in their past, but how much can we take without seeming possessive and/or getting cheated on?

Is there a general limit?

For example, if they work together, there's not much you can do. Company softball team. Maybe. Weekly after hours pitchers of beer until midnight?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Wzs99

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Depends on the person in the relationship, this case is you. How compassionate are you?

remember the old quote that says if you truly love it set it free and if it comes back its for real (lol sorry I forgot the real one). Well there is alot of truth in that.

There really is no limit in the begining of the relationship until you two have had sex. Then you draw the line. After sex no more guys. You can even frame it to her like this " Guys and you are single or No guys and with me."
 

OBSYDYN

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I can't take too much of it. It seems like everytime I think I've got a chick, they can't seem to drop off their emotional baggage at their ex-boyfriend's house.
 

bigneil

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Every time I think I've got a chick, a jumbo jet liner is descending in the background.... arriving from France or something, carrying her ex.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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insanity

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i've noticed that if your girlfriend dumped the guy, then hearing about her ex is something that almost never happens.when i first started dating the girl i'm with now she was one of those girls that talked about her exs. she complained about them alot. so what did i do. i talked about how great my exs were even though i hated their guts. it would piss her off. play their little game. if you have nothing but great things to say about your ex, that will shut them up because they don't like hearing great things about other women. it works.
 

mrRuckus

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Absolutely none. I learned my lesson when the girl I cared about (we weren't together at the time but were before and after) came crying to me saying they had sex and all she thought about the whole time was me and how bad it was with him (blah blah "sorry i'm just a young stupid girl"). Then she expected me to be okay with it and get back together with her.

Girlfriend hanging out or talking to the ex is out of the question.

Old flames can reignite far too easily. If the girl asks me why I'll tell her that I'm not dealing with it ever again regardless of how "harmless" she says it is. I don't care. It has nothing to do with insecurity or anything. It has to do with it's not something I'm going to worry about so the door is over there if I'm not more important than your stupid exboyfriend and the validation he gives you.

By the way is it just me or does every girl have some exboyfriend she dated for like 3-4-5-6 years and they're only like 23? Then everything you do gets compared to him whether its verbalized or not. You get crap like "well he cheated on me so sorry if I'm not trusting of you." WTF I don't suffer because you had bad taste in men and went out with an ass.
 

Jack McCrack

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Who cares about the ex-boyfriend.

We've all been there. We've all been the guy she's with and we've all been the ex-boyfriend too.

If you don't care about him, chances are, she won't either. There's no reason to anyway. He's just another dude.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Kings_royalty

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I might let a couple of comments slide, lord knows she had a pass before me, but if she starts bringing the guy up constantly, It's time to call her on it.

Say something like 'look, you bring up *enter name here* enough to make me uncomfortable and it sounds like you are still in to him. If you need me to step to the side, let me know so i can get out of the picture'. Don't be mad or get bent out of shape. Stay calm and watch for her reaction.

Weekly after hours pitchers of beer until midnight?

If this is going on, something is up. You need to end it.
 
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