How Long To Wait to Respond to Texts

[JBB84]

This is probably an amateur question, I realize, but I have been debating on how long to wait until I respond to a text (to a girl I am interested in). I was prompted to contemplate this after I received a text from this girl I hooked up with this past Saturday. She said "Hii handsome." I was on the phone at the time, then responded 26 minutes later "hey you, what are you doing?" to which she never responded. Is it possible that she was annoyed I didn't respond sooner?

Note: I have been wishy-washy with this girl in the past, but recently gained interest in her. Maybe she thinks I'm not interested enough again?

 

[captain55]

many times using the word "you" can scare women off IME...bit too personal for a chick you just met. Next time..

"oh hey wsup girl?" ***** might of just been texting you to see if you remembered her or not...she'll come around. If not, call her ass...that usually gets a text back IME

 

[the_stig]

It's amazing how fickle Women are, if a text isn't just quite right, they don't respond.

You're over analyzing this and the reason why is anybody's guess. I stopped wasting energy on girls like this long ago and life is 100x more stress free. See what I mean, she's got you trippin' all over a non replied text. Seriously, if a girl can't communicate like an adult without playing these dumb games, keep moving right along. It's a lot better for your health

 

[plate's_empty]

Here's the deal. I have this girl that's trying to get the upper hand on me. She tried to pull this $hit today. I texted her something and asked her a question. She waited 2 hours to respond, ignored my question, and told me something about her dog. Guess what I responded...nothing.

Don't over analyze. Act as if. As if you've got a million other things to do than wait around for her dumb a$$ text. The common theme I see on here is to wait to respond double the time she responded. That's a good philosophy, but...seriously, respond when you want to, when you feel grounded and you have something good to say.

Wait until you get up in the morning, hopefully it's early 6am, you had your coffee and something funny comes to mind, text her then. Who gives a fvck if she's sleeping, or with some dude. Text her when it's convenient for you, and you're grounded. Last thing you want to do is force a response. If you have nothing good to say, or if you're not sure how it will be received, don't say it. Period.

Patients is a virtue, especially for those who text.

 

[TheException]

The common theme I see on here is to wait to respond double the time she responded. That's a good philosophy, but...seriously, respond when you want to

At first i really liked this philosophy, but as Ive progressed i really dont like it anymore. Its meant to serve as an outline....not a strict law. Its like a secret code for "Your life should be busy enough, that you dont respond instantly to every text you get". For instance when i go for a round of golf, i dont like to be distracted so i leave my phone in the car. Thats like 5 hours phoneless, so any girl that texts me will have to wait. NOT BECAUSE IM PLAYING GAMES....BUT BECAUSE IM BUSY. Savy?

Last thing you want to do is force a response. If you have nothing good to say, or if you're not sure how it will be received, don't say it. Period.

Absolutely this^

This is how guys "text too much". They try to think of a response for every text they get....they try to force the conversation to continue. Read the text...if you have a response, say it....if not put the damn phone down. Ive fuked up way more by sending a text response than by not sending one.

 

[CaConfused]

Is She Spinning Plates

deleted

 

[PlayHer Man]

Spinning plates is a good way to avoid problems like this. The rude and non-responsive women will simply be forgotten since they are doing nothing to keep your attention / interest high.

The best rule to follow with women is to treat them well until they give you a reason not to. There is nothing wrong with responding to a text right away with a woman who is horny and responsive. I do it all the time.

The minute she starts acting stupid, immature, high maintenance, b!tchy, rude, etc. or starts treating me like I'm nothing to worry about.. that's when I drop her or demote her to a pump and dump.

Keep in mind that most women are a joke and not worth much analysis. You'll learn this as you spin more plates.

 

[JBB84]

I ended up texting this girl again this evening and she both responded to my text and apologized for "starting a conversation last night and then disappearing." She said things have been crazy between work and grad school. I'm not sure what to make of it. We chatted a bit back and forth after that. Maybe I should've been more patient to see if she'd eventually say something first.

I want to ask her to hang out this weekend tomorrow. Thoughts on that? Should I wait to see if she shows more interest?

I have a date with a different girl tomorrow night, so its not all about this one, but, I am definitely feeling it with her.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I ended up texting this girl again this evening and she both responded to my text and apologized for "starting a conversation last night and then disappearing." She said things have been crazy between work and grad school. I'm not sure what to make of it. We chatted a bit back and forth after that. Maybe I should've been more patient to see if she'd eventually say something first.

I want to ask her to hang out this weekend tomorrow. Thoughts on that? Should I wait to see if she shows more interest?

I have a date with a different girl tomorrow night, so its not all about this one, but, I am definitely feeling it with her.

Still think you're over analyzing. If you want to bang this chick then do it or move on.

If you want to see her this weekend then invite her to hang out this weekend. Only by taking ACTION and forcing her to make decisions will you learn where you stand. You'll know fast if she is playing games.

When you like a girl.. its best to sh!t or get off the pot. The more you over-think and analyze everything --> the more you put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Plus you pedestalize the woman far beyond what she deserves. :nono:

 

[BigSmooth]

The fact that you're thinking about how long you should wait to text her back is the ultimate AFC move.

Do you have THAT much free time on your hands you're just sitting there on the couch with your left hand in a bag of chips, right hand on the phone, while watching a Friends re-run for the 10 time?

C'mon bro. Be better than that.

Here's an example from today. I'm in the office for my internship and I get a text from a girl. She was sending me some solid pictures the night before, and she wanted to continue our "steamy" conversation. Well guess what? I didn't reply for 5 hours. Not because I didn't want to, or because I was consciously waiting for a set time to pass... but because I was legitimately busy. I was on the phone with clients and finalizing analysis reports.

If you're free at the moment, then just effing respond. But you should be DOING something with your time.


***The fact that you have enough time, energy, and insecurity to worry about this means you are exhibiting 100% AFC behavior.*** Change it.



~BSmooth

 

[JBB84]

PlayHer and BigSmooth, both really good advice. I took action and asked her to hang out this weekend and she said "that would be cool" and talked about other stuff after without specifying a day. I actually got busy all day and ended up responding to her about 5 hours later (after a brief back and forth) and said "Soo let me know which day is better for you" and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I realize that I could have been more specific about the day, but right now she is moving AND she had a child that has to be watched so I left it open for what works for her... I'll see if this happens.

I definitely overanalyzed the whole texting back too late thing. Trying to get over AFC behaviors. Thanks.

 

[plate's_empty]

The fact that you're thinking about how long you should wait to text her back is the ultimate AFC move.


***The fact that you have enough time, energy, and insecurity to worry about this means you are exhibiting 100% AFC behavior.*** Change it.

Not really dude, what do you think this site is for?

 

[bukowski_merit]

Spinning plates is a good way to avoid problems like this. The rude and non-responsive women will simply be forgotten since they are doing nothing to keep your attention / interest high.

The best rule to follow with women is to treat them well until they give you a reason not to. There is nothing wrong with responding to a text right away with a woman who is horny and responsive. I do it all the time.

The minute she starts acting stupid, immature, high maintenance, b!tchy, rude, etc. or starts treating me like I'm nothing to worry about.. that's when I drop her or demote her to a pump and dump.

Keep in mind that most women are a joke and not worth much analysis. You'll learn this as you spin more plates.

THIS!

I don't have these problems that frequently get posted on here. I have TOO MANY women in my life to care about the ones who aren't busting down my door to get inside (or get me inside her)... And when one begins to act "stupid, immature, high maintenance, b!tchy, rude, etc. or starts treating me like I'm nothing to worry about.." that's when I no longer care about her.

Her: Hey Handsome!
Me: Hey, what's up?

If she doesn't respond - I don't care!
I don't stop to think why she hasn't responded.
I don't don't try to think of something more creative.

I just continue on with my life.

And honestly, 26 minutes is nothing....

 

[PlayHer Man]

PlayHer and BigSmooth, both really good advice. I took action and asked her to hang out this weekend and she said "that would be cool" and talked about other stuff after without specifying a day. I actually got busy all day and ended up responding to her about 5 hours later (after a brief back and forth) and said "Soo let me know which day is better for you" and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I realize that I could have been more specific about the day, but right now she is moving AND she had a child that has to be watched so I left it open for what works for her... I'll see if this happens.

I definitely overanalyzed the whole texting back too late thing. Trying to get over AFC behaviors. Thanks.

Stop trying so hard to accommodate her. You are not responsible for her. Her "issues" are not your problem. Her problems don't become your problems until you are in a committed relationship.

When asking a girl to "meet up" always pick a time and place that is convenient for YOU. If she is not available too bad.

Outside of running my mouth and texting.. I put very little effort into getting dates. I don't rearrange my schedule. I don't travel long distances. I don't do anything outside my routine. In fact.. I don't even show up until I know the girl is there.

I mentioned my "anti-flake" policy in another thread several weeks ago. Here is how it works:

-Set up time and place to meet
-Text to confirm
-Text to see where she is at meeting time
-Once she is there waiting.. say you're running late and head over

That's right.. I don't even get off my ass to a meet girl until I know she is where we agreed to meet. Either that, or I have her meet me somewhere I'll be anyway.

The less you "try" the more they want you. Its a psychological / emotional response that women can't control. :yes:

 

[Uncharted]

There was a girl I was dating that sometimes took an hour or two to respond to my texts. When I would respond she would delay again for 30-45 minutes. I'm guessing she was trying to play games.

She always met me and we f-d a few times, so I just let the texting slide. I consider a text more of a "what she says" type thing.

Always watch what she does instead of what she says. If she's meeting up with you, you're good.

 

[JBB84]

In your case, OP, your lack of interest has probably increased her IL. You mentioned you have been wishy-washy with her and that you recently hooked up. If things are working for you, why change your game? Remain aloof in your texts. Text her when you want, don't text her when you don't. Relationships change direction in a negative way when a man changes (submits) for a woman. The opposite is true for when a woman changes (submits) for a man.

This is most likely what happened, because I am acting differently than our first and even second go around. My interest is higher now, though (girl got into hot shape for the summer, new hair cut, looks good), so what gives? I do want to hang out more consistently, and I'm sure this girl is being pursued by others so I don't want to be completely aloof and let it pass. Does anything go for "striking when the iron's hot"?

I am really not sure what it is. I still haven't heard back from her still and its Friday. I am actually irritated and am probably going to make other plans - I'm not a loser with nothing to do, I did want to see THIS particular girl again but I seemed to have made myself too interested/available.

 

[BigSmooth]

Not really dude, what do you think this site is for?

Huh?

The less you "try" the more they want you. Its a psychological / emotional response that women can't control. :yes:

Solid. Very solid.

 

[JBB84]

I didn't say anything to her all day, she texted me around 4:45PM asking if we can do Sunday. I said Sunday works and that was it. I will wait till then to text her again. I get the feeling that she is on the fence about me or was at least thinking about whether or not she really wants to hang out. I'll have to play this right now...

I have another really hot date on Wednesday, so I'm not even sweating it much. I started reaching out to other girls of interest after I got caught up worrying about this one. I feel much better.