how long is too long to ignore a girl?

[JALX95]

Hi everyone,

I was in new york the weekend after new years (I live in DC) and I really hit it off with this girl at a club there. We danced, made out etc. etc. Unfortunately logistics didn't play in my favor as one of her friends in her group was sick and they all had to go home with her. I got her number and went on my way.

A month later, I realized that I'd be in new york again. I shot her a simple message 10 days ago saying "hi hows everything in new york? I'll actually be in manhattan again in a few weeks"

She responded very enthusiastically and was saying stuff like "omg thats super cool! and with a bunch of emojis etc. etc. but she didn't ask any questions about specific details.

I had a really busy week ahead of me with tests, job interviews, etc. and I didn't wanna try to pressure her to commit to hanging out too soon so I just simply took care of all my **** for 10 days and didn't respond to her as I felt there wasn't much to respond to until I knew more details.

2 days ago I confirmed my dates and just shot her a message letting her know when I'd be there and I made a joke about one of her snapchat stories. Anyways I haven't gotten a response yet.

In my mind, I'm still in good shape cuz given my response time 2 days is nothing and I should simply wait for a week or 2 and see what she says before i go back up to new york. I know that assuming a guy builds solid rapport with a girl, ignoring her for a bit won't be a big deal for the most part. I'd like to think I didn't upset her because she's not a typical club girl (foreign, very down to earth, etc.).

What are your thoughts?

 

[JALX95]

In the early phase of courtship it's almost always best to be direct, decisive, and minimal with your time and attention, especially when reconnecting with a chick whom you haven't seen in awhile.

If it were me, I would have waited until I was actually in town. THEN I'd have texted her: "Hi there I'm in NYC. Will you meet me for a drink at (place) (day) (time)?"

Well unfortunately she lives in a suburb like 40 minutes outside the city so while I normally would agree with you, I don't wanna screw myself over with logistics if she's got other plans. She also responded to me saying "Hiiii I missed hearing from you what have you been up to".

I'm gonna respond in a couple days and then sometime at the end of next week i'll text about plans. What do you think of this approach? Again I'll reiterate that she's from a more conservative culture (italian) thus her family may not let her just on a whim go and meet a random guy in a bar 40 minutes away if its too last minute.

 

[sazc]

My advice:

Take the lead: text her tonight, and invite her to come out to see you. Be SPECIFIC about the day-time-place you want her to meet you at. Preferably, arrange the drinkdate in the bar of the hotel you're staying at, if it has one. If it doesn't, just pick a spot nearest your hotel. Won't be an issue in NYC. ClasSic push/pull here. You're coming a LONG way so you can expect her to journey 40 mins. for you. In fact it's a PERFECT way to test her.

Yea, do this.

If she doesn't respond, plan your activities in NYC, and leave it alone.

You are traveling, she should have the respect of committing some time to you enthusiastically.