How I came to spin plates

[zekko]

I wanted to tell the story of how I started to spin plates, literally decades before I came to SoSuave. Although back then we didn't call it spinning plates, we called it playing the field. Bear in mind this was a long time ago:

There was this girl, who was about a HB9.7. Not only was she extremely hot, she was talented and interesting to talk to. We became friends. We were friends for awhile. Eventually I developed a crush on her (that's a story in itself, but that isn't the point).

Of course since this girl was so hot, guys were all over her trying to hit on her. I don't know if I've ever seen a girl since that guys drooled over as much as her. So she had a lot of boyfriends, she went out with a lot of different guys, at the same time. Her parents were very strict and didn't allow her to date any one person seriously (or so she said).

I knew that if I was going to compete for her, I had to have options too. If she was going out with all these guys and I didin't have any other plates to spin, that made her look better than me, and I couldn't have that. Fortunately, being a male, it made it easy. All I had to do was start asking girls out on casual dates. So that's what I did. Partly it was to make myself look good in her eyes, and partly it was that she had role modeled this behavior to me. Before that I had been mainly a serial monogomist, with a few one night stands thrown in.

The point is I was out living my life and I learned that I should spin plates, just as I learned many other lessons in a similar way. There are some guys on SoSuave that seem to think that unless you are on this forum reading these "secrets" that you are not going to be able to get women or are an AFC. That is a huge load of BS and is probably my biggest pet peeve on this forum.

 

[Mex]

There are some guys on SoSuave that seem to think that unless you are on this forum reading these "secrets" that you are not going to be able to get women or are an AFC. That is a huge load of BS and is probably my biggest pet peeve on this forum.

That is interesting for the following reason. I have noticed that when I don't think about what to do next, or what trick to pull out of the bag, I tend to have more success. However, I think that this is the secret that underlies a lot of the advice on this forum, being comfortable, and confident. If it appears natural then you will attract the ladies.

So it is like a catch-22, if you are not comfortable, then the secret is to be comfortable, but if you think about trying to be comfortable, you come off as unnatural and hence uncomfortable. I guess its all about practice and experience. This is gained by approaching, and then spinning.

So I think overall the advice on these forums is good, maybe a slight exaggeration of what is necessary, but I do see your point.

 

[J. Darko]

So actually what you're saying is that the key to succes with women is not visiting this forum?

 

[zekko]

I'm not trying to say the advice here is bad by any means. I think most of the general principles are pretty good. What I'm saying is you don't necessarily have to come here to figure this stuff out. If you go out and live life and experience it, you're liable to come to many of the same conclusions, if you have a good head on your shoulders. Of course it would probably take longer.

What irritates me is guys who think that because they come here and learn a few tricks, they are better than everyone else who doesn't study pickup. Then they get out in the real world and some regular guy gets the girl he wanted, and they say "this AFC took my girl". Just because a guy isn't a regular on this forum doesn't mean he's an AFC. A lot of guys are clueless, but not everybody in the "civilian" world is without skills.

 

[J. Darko]

I feel what you're trying to say. I noticed that the information here is not necessary as well. For example, this forum promotes masculinity. In the off line world, guys who are good wth girls are masculine as well, even though it's likely they never visited an on line forum for dating advice. They walk, talk, dress like succes since elementary school.

I guess becoming succesful can't be learned from this forum. A nerd can learn from Sosuave to put on a leather jacket, shaving his head and act not to care, but he'll still be a nerd. There's something else that needs to change, I guess it's life experience.

Yet, visiting this forum is like a dangerous addiction, at least in my experience. You keep coming back to read more and more and more, afraid you might miss something you desperately need to know in order to succeed with girls, with career, with life.

 

[Oxide]

So what happened with the girl?

Every guys has a few go to moves. Look at my go to moves thread for some we discussed.

Most are like: just don't mess this up and do this thing and that one.

When you have better game, you can tease the girl, push pull, break comfort on purpose, go through variety of feelings for her, etc. Once this all becomes natural its great

 

[zekko]

I guess becoming succesful can't be learned from this forum

You can't become successful just by reading. You have to go out and apply what you learn. RSD stresses this also, you have to go out and practice in order to learn the correct calibration.

What bugs me is the whole black/white attitude on pickup sites. It's like all guys are either a DJ or an AFC and there's no in between, and I don't think that's realistic. Guys who aren't on this forum are out there thinking about girls, trying to figure out how to attract and interact with them. A lot of this stuff isn't that hard to figure out, where do you think this knowledge comes from in the first place? From out in the real world, men's experiences with women.

Do you really think only people on the DJ forum are interested in improving themselves? I honestly think that's what most guys in their 20s are doing (unless they're complete losers). That's what the 20s are all about IMO, learning to be the best guy you can be, stretching your boundaries and finding your limitations and potential. If you're not doing that, what the heck ARE you doing?

So it bugs me when guys on this forum look down on guys who aren't on this forum like they're just out there wasting their lives because they aren't on Sosuave.

So what happened with the girl?

The age old classic story, pretty much.

I was quite happy just being friends with this girl (when I met her I was interested in someone else). But of course, her being the mega-hottie, she couldn't handle that I wasn't interested in her in that way (I figured with all the guys around her she'd be more trouble than she was worth). So she started throwing me blatant IOIs hard, trying to hook me.

And you know, when a meg-hottie tries to hook a guy, they're pretty hard to turn down. So I ended up getting a crush on her, as I said. But pretty much when I became interested in her, she had gotten what she wanted and lost interest in me. We dated for awhile but it messed up our friendship. Then she moved to go off to college. Another life lesson learned.