How do you say... "Scared little *****"

[Thatonekid92]

See how highly I think of myself! Haha!

First off, helping people out is what you guys do and it's awesome, so I genuinely mean - thank you, in advance.

This is going to make me seem like a stalker, a crazy person, or maybe just plain pathetic? So I'll break it down perfectly

- For the past year, saw a girl in a store staring me down. Never thought ANYTHING of her. Would walk right up to her and not even look at her, she was nothing special

- One day, I caught her staring and it just went off in my head "I am extremely attracted to this girl. WHY" My friends say she is nothing special, actually just plain...

- After a month of that hitting me, I asked her out. She was blushing wildly, covering her mouth and smiling at me in shock. She hesitated for a good 10 seconds and said "I'm sor....I'm sorry .... I have a boyfriend". When I walked out the door to the store I could still see her with her hand over her mouth in shock

- 5 months later, I still go into the store (Basic place for necessities) and because of how awkward I feel, I literally cannot look her in the eyes, and have avoided her register constantly. Sometimes I break out in a little nervous chuckle, but I always catching her just BEAMING me with her vision. When I mean staring, I mean this blank, piercing stare.

The problem?

Oneitis? Yeah, sure. But it's more than that. I need to stop being such a *****! I'm a pretty decent looking guy too, I look virtually identical to this guy - http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/jonathan-rhys-meyers-600x450.jpg and I mean we could be brothers.
The thing is, when this happened, it has thrown me into a state of being this insecure, paranoid, I'm not good enough little pansy.

I want closure, not just with the girl, but walking by this girl and wanting so bad to talk to her but knowing I'm too afraid to is just simply killing me.

So, how do I combat this? And why is this girl STILL staring me down after she rejected me FIVE MONTHS AGO?

 

[YAboi]

my advice? just befriend her.

 

[Thatonekid92]

I agree, but I'm just so scared to walk up to her because I'm confused as to why she's staring at me

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree, but I'm just so scared to walk up to her because I'm confused as to why she's staring at me

"Women only look at guys they are attracted to."

A female therapist told me that. It matches my experience.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Befriend her!? WTF does that mean?

Dude go in there and talk to her every day briefly. Ask her how she's doing, make a gentle inquiry on her love life. Maybe ask her if she's gonna ditch the zero and go with a hero. Don't hold your head down man, she likes you, you like her, smile man you have game with this one!

You know she's going to speak highly of you to other girls there. Don't be so committed to her if she's hitched. Start talking to other girls there, you have a "one up" in that place, work it homme!

This is how things are done, word of mouth spreads around. Maybe something nicer shows up and boom! you are not some stranger anymore. You are the guy one of the girls there really likes. And if she likes you then obviously you are to be desired.

There is nothing better for your game than one girl from a group speaking highly of you but that she can't have you for some reason. just hope she doesn't block you. This is why you have to keep the flirting light and friendly.

 

[Thatonekid92]

Befriend her!? WTF does that mean?

Dude go in there and talk to her every day briefly. Ask her how she's doing, make a gentle inquiry on her love life. Maybe ask her if she's gonna ditch the zero and go with a hero. Don't hold your head down man, she likes you, you like her, smile man you have game with this one!

You know she's going to speak highly of you to other girls there. Don't be so committed to her if she's hitched. Start talking to other girls there, you have a "one up" in that place, work it homme!

This is how things are done, word of mouth spreads around. Maybe something nicer shows up and boom! you are not some stranger anymore. You are the guy one of the girls there really likes. And if she likes you then obviously you are to be desired.

There is nothing better for your game than one girl from a group speaking highly of you but that she can't have you for some reason. just hope she doesn't block you. This is why you have to keep the flirting light and friendly.

Thanks so much for the advice guys, you certainly did not disappoint.

My biggest issue is certainty. When I see her just staring at me, it seems that there is more to it besides attraction if she's attracted at all. She seems almost perplexed by me, and maybe a little insecure that I just stopped talking to her after I asked her out.

... but to be fair, if you guys asked out a girl and she denied you, wouldn't you want to just move on too and not really give her anymore attention. Why hang yourself up ????

 

[SgtSplacker]

Thanks so much for the advice guys, you certainly did not disappoint.

My biggest issue is certainty. When I see her just staring at me, it seems that there is more to it besides attraction if she's attracted at all. She seems almost perplexed by me, and maybe a little insecure that I just stopped talking to her after I asked her out.

... but to be fair, if you guys asked out a girl and she denied you, wouldn't you want to just move on too and not really give her anymore attention. Why hang yourself up ????

You have to do things a certain way. You have to do things right to achieve good results. There are techniques to this. Don't stumble around life clumsily...

When you ask a girl out you don't do it in such a way that she can reject your feelings for her. You should not allow yourself to feel such attraction for someone you do not even know. If you ask a girl out it should be just to get to know her. You don't know what kind of girl this is?! You don't know if she is riddled with disease. You don't know if she has some kind of sexual issues. Dude, she could have a farking d1ck for all you know.

Stop all the fairy tale "date" BS guys. A real date is something you should do with a woman that has declared her affections for you already. For a girl you are getting to know you should be doing more simple things. Make her earn the date, because making it a date is also a way of declaring your affections for her.

A woman can never be made to think that your affections for her are undying. A woman must constantly be on her guard when it comes to your affections. She can never think that she has you. Not now, not never. Even after 20 years married and 4 kids. She will next your a$$ faster then you would ever believe. This game you must constantly play if you want to have women in your life that respect you.

So if you do this at the beginning by being all shy and defensive about asking her out, you already lost the game.

 

[VladPatton]

Sgt is right. Man, I asked some chick out from my social circle the next night after I met her. We were doing eyeball sex for the whole night, and the bıtch refused me twice!! LOL I thought I had it locked on-target! So what! When I see her and we all hang out, I make like nothing ever happened. I give zero fux about the fact that I was offering her cὀck and that I acted on it immediately. The fantastic part about that is that now I know she has no interest and I don't need to fantasize about 10 million "what-ifs" because I know it's a lost cause and where I stand. All you can do is try. Some other chick told me explicitly she is so bored at home all the time and we exchanged numbers. She ignored my texts and gave me the lamest lie of an excuse when I ran into her. lol It happens everywhere, this is all part of it and nothing new! Bıtches be crazy!

Go in the store, hold your chin up, and realize you did nothing wrong. Smile, tell her to have a good day, and think "go fück yourself" in your mind as you walk away. Think of it in a way that she lost on a fun relationship, and you did your part and tried.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Sgt is right. Man, I asked some chick out from my social circle the next night after I met her. We were doing eyeball sex for the whole night, and the bıtch refused me twice!! LOL I thought I had it locked on-target! So what! When I see her and we all hang out, I make like nothing ever happened. I give zero fux about the fact that I was offering her cὀck and that I acted on it immediately. The fantastic part about that is that now I know she has no interest and I don't need to fantasize about 10 million "what-ifs" because I know it's a lost cause and where I stand. All you can do is try. Some other chick told me explicitly she is so bored at home all the time and we exchanged numbers. She ignored my texts and gave me the lamest lie of an excuse when I ran into her. lol It happens everywhere, this is all part of it and nothing new! Bıtches be crazy!

Go in the store, hold your chin up, and realize you did nothing wrong. Smile, tell her to have a good day, and think "go fück yourself" in your mind as you walk away. Think of it in a way that she lost on a fun relationship, and you did your part and tried.

When a girl eye farks me like that I make sure to reference how she's looking at me when i'm flirting with her. Girls like to do that then get all funny when you ask them out. So I always make reference to HER actions. It's a precarious way to flirt that's for sure. But I make sure I anchor my advances to her actions. Like that if she all of a sudden says no, it's all about her sending those mixed signals my way. Not about me trying to ask her out.

AWs love to do that to you just to see if they can get you to come over, or to make some chump she's with jealous or even just to look good in front of her friends.

I'll open with something flirty like "I feel so violated by your eyes, like what you see?" And if her answers are congruent with her actions i'll eventually ask her out or for her number or whatever. Or i'll just turn around and walk away with a dismissing gesture, just in case some chump is hiding in a corner seething with jealousy.

I am always suspicious of pretty women who openly make advances on men like that. It's usually all BS

 

[Thatonekid92]

Wish I would have read this before now.

I had to go back to the store with a buddy to return the job app since we were hanging out together.

Cliffs
- She was outside with a few other employees, they were selling some things outside since it was nice, sort of like a special occassion
- For fun, some of them had like those balloons that you'd make balloon animals out of, and she had one on her head and was laughing. I come out, she tears that **** off of her head immediately.
- When I was driving away I had to past the store front, she had this HUGE smile, raised her eyebrows and then looked away.

It was either a sexual/cute little look, or it was almost like rolling her eyes.


This is why oneitis sucks. Analyzing everything to the bone.

I'm SUCH a ****ing productive guy too, I mean literally all I do is improve myself but it seems that this is draining me, killing my thought process because every thought it about her.... I want it to stop. Almost like i need a second closure.

Like you guys said. When I return, chin is up right, be confident, say hello, face my fear and move on...

 

[Thatonekid92]

This is the last time I'll bump this because at this point I'm simply perpetuating this, but what da **** does that look mean? Looking at me, huge smiling, raising the eyebrows and then turning the other way ?

 

[Mike32ct]

She is attracted to you. Women don't smile AND eyeroll at the same time (unless you told a really bad but funny joke lol).

A true eyeroll comes with a pissed off /bytchy face.

 

[JohnChops]

"Women only look at guys they are attracted to."

A female therapist told me that. It matches my experience.

Oh lookie mike is right again! This holds water for me aswell

 

[Mike32ct]

Oh lookie mike is right again! This holds water for me aswell

Thanks John. I have to earn my green dots somehow

 

[Thatonekid92]

After reading what I've written any seeing how much I'd analyze, it's almost fair to say that IN TERMS OF GIRLS (Not other aspects of my life), I'd almost rather be a ballsy, straight forward, confident IDIOT, than an intellectual who is too afraid to approach. It would make things SO much easier.

 

[SgtSplacker]

After reading what I've written any seeing how much I'd analyze, it's almost fair to say that IN TERMS OF GIRLS (Not other aspects of my life), I'd almost rather be a ballsy, straight forward, confident IDIOT, than an intellectual who is too afraid to approach. It would make things SO much easier.

Dude don't vilify confidence like that. you don't have to be an idiot or anything else negative. You don't have to be ashamed of being horny or of wanting to have secks with women. You are just framing it as something you don't want because you are not there yet...

You be yourself, be honest with yourself. Live an honest life. If you like a girl go talk to her, you don't have to change into something else. You are not turning your back on yourself by putting those old childish ways behind you. You have to develop your character around a winning attitude. Not forsake the whole persona. Trust me eventually you will stop thinking so much about what you are doing and it will become a part of you.

That attitude is only resistance to becoming a better man.

Use strategy, think about what you are going to do before you do it. See the positive outcome and take that path with the idea of success in your mind. Men have direction and intention. There's nothing wrong with that.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING YOURSELF

The only thing you can do wrong is not put thought into things and make the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

 

[Trump]

And why is this girl STILL staring me down after she rejected me FIVE MONTHS AGO?

Maybe she's wondering why does this guy keeps coming into the store and doesn't spend any money.

Come on bro, one month later you went back in store and asked her out? She could have met a doctor, got pregnant with twins, and won a nobel prize in that amount of time. I guess when you are younger you think you got all the time in the world, but once you are older you realize you got to cut through the high school crap and get things done.

 

[Thatonekid92]

Dude don't vilify confidence like that. you don't have to be an idiot or anything else negative. You don't have to be ashamed of being horny or of wanting to have secks with women. You are just framing it as something you don't want because you are not there yet...

You be yourself, be honest with yourself. Live an honest life. If you like a girl go talk to her, you don't have to change into something else. You are not turning your back on yourself by putting those old childish ways behind you. You have to develop your character around a winning attitude. Not forsake the whole persona. Trust me eventually you will stop thinking so much about what you are doing and it will become a part of you.

That attitude is only resistance to becoming a better man.

Use strategy, think about what you are going to do before you do it. See the positive outcome and take that path with the idea of success in your mind. Men have direction and intention. There's nothing wrong with that.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING YOURSELF

The only thing you can do wrong is not put thought into things and make the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

Agreed 100%. So used to hearing "Be a nice guy!".

 

[Thatonekid92]

Maybe she's wondering why does this guy keeps coming into the store and doesn't spend any money.

Come on bro, one month later you went back in store and asked her out? She could have met a doctor, got pregnant with twins, and won a nobel prize in that amount of time. I guess when you are younger you think you got all the time in the world, but once you are older you realize you got to cut through the high school crap and get things done.

What? I did buy things. I think she's cute but I wouldn't just go to the store to see her. I'm obsessed but not a stalker.