How do you know its official?

[DJinTraining06]

I have limited dating expereince, only had 4 gf's and im 25. Got a very late start in the game, but all 4 have been in the last 3 yrs so i'm makin progress i guess. Well anyway, i went out with this girl 3 times now. The last time was sat night, i asked her if she wanted to see a movie, and she said she was tired and the weather was dreary so she asked if i wanted to watch movies at her place. We had been out the night before to eat and bars and stuff real late so understandable that she was tired and awesome that she invited me to her place so soon. So we watched movies, and then made out a bit, and i went home around 2:30 am. She is really into me, she texts me and stuff out of the blue, said i looked hot and all this stuff. But being the inexperienced bloke that i am, i am not sure if its official or not. Should i ask her on the next date, or does the fact that there is a next date make it official. I dont wanna be dorky and ask her when it already seems obvious. I know she wants more dates cuz we were arm wrestling at her house for fun and she said whoever wins gets to pick the next date.

I was wonderin this when i went on myspace before and noticed her profile still says single and mine does too, not sure if i should change it or not. SHe prob either hasnt thought of it or if she has, shes been waiting for me to.

One more thing tho, we met off of match.com and i went on last night just for kicks, and i noticed it said she was "online now". It also lets u know whos viewing ur page and she had just viewed mine. So i dunno if she just went on to view me or to look at other guys too. Either way tho it don't matter, just wondering how to know if its official. Do u ask or do u just let it happen. In the past i always asked and it turned out ok.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You need to sleep with her. After you have done that, she will be the one asking where you stand. You can then take it in any direction you want.

If she doesn't want to be exclusive, she will either just sleep with you and treat you as someone she dates, or she will put you in the friends zone, which is why you must escalate. SOON!

 

[SamePendo]

You know Gangster... there's a saying in texas ...

fool me once . . . :crackup:

To the OP, read what GOF says, and, never ask to become exclusive, like AD said.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You know Gangster... there's a saying in texas ...

fool me once . . . :crackup:

To the OP, read what GOF says, and, never ask to become exclusive, like AD said.

or was it Tennessee, or somewhere....

 

[DJinTraining06]

Your gonna laugh but she warned me on our 2nd date that she is waiting for marriage, and she jsut thoguht shed tell me cuz that turns most guys off. Now i dont care really, cuz she did say "Theres plenty of other stuff i do" So even tho it sux i dont mind cuz i really click with this girl and well if im gettin something its better than nothing ya know? I know most on here would tell me to dithc her but i m fine with it. So in this case where i wont be sleepin with her, how do i know when its official. When is it safe to refer to her as my gf, and know its exclusive. And changed statuses on myspace and stuff.

You need to sleep with her. After you have done that, she will be the one asking where you stand. You can then take it in any direction you want.

If she doesn't want to be exclusive, she will either just sleep with you and treat you as someone she dates, or she will put you in the friends zone, which is why you must escalate. SOON!

 

[Shiftkey]

Something is better than nothing? You need to raise your standards...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She needs to know that you are getting some serious a$$ from other girls.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I really like this chick tho. More than any i've dated, like mentally and all. Not in it for that. She said engaged actually, not marriage. But still i know it sucks, and if it was any other girl id run, but I click with her perfectly so far. Never did with another girl. Only a little, not like this.

Something is better than nothing? You need to raise your standards...

 

[Hitman10000]

No girl is perfect, however if you feel she works with your style then I'd say keep her and just continue doing whatever you in your life. The problem with some guys who have unhappy relationships is that they go for girls that "complement" or fill in a "void" in their life. That's probably okay for short term relationships/f*ck buddies but if you want to find someone for long term: You want to find someone that is like yourself and can communicate on your level.

 

[ScrewIt]

If she doesn't want to be exclusive, she will either just sleep with you and treat you as someone she dates, or she will put you in the friends zone, which is why you must escalate. SOON!

I agree with this i can speak from experience. Some girls actually have a hidden agenda of keeping the guy in the zone as a backburner, if nothing better comes up by XX age, he's still an option. And no point in being friends with a girl if there's no action right? Which is why you have to escalate. If she doesnt want to be exclusive, it may not be you, it is probably just the girl wanting to see what else is out there.

If you want to initiate being exclusive, i suggest holding her hands..dont ask just do it and see her reaction. If she wants to clarify the situation she'll bring it up.

 

[mrRuckus]

Ignore the "until marriage" garbage. Hardly anyone who claims that comes anywhere close to following through on it.

What do you care if it's official or not? You should be laid back and care free and not see her everyday. Some random days don't bother to say crap to her at all. Let her wonder what's up... you've got video games or some sh1t to do. You can easily outlast her as a dude. If you stay mysterious and not all up her sh1t all the time as a woman she'll assume you must be talking to/seeing other girls and will want to officially stake her claim soon enough.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Well on the thrid date i asked i called her make plans on a saturday night, called her in the afternoon. She said she was tired and the weatehr was crappy. (we went out late the night before), and she asked if i wanted to come over to her place to watch movies. So we eneded up watching movies on her couch and making out alot. With this kid of girl id assume its exclusive.

I agree with this i can speak from experience. Some girls actually have a hidden agenda of keeping the guy in the zone as a backburner, if nothing better comes up by XX age, he's still an option. And no point in being friends with a girl if there's no action right? Which is why you have to escalate. If she doesnt want to be exclusive, it may not be you, it is probably just the girl wanting to see what else is out there.

If you want to initiate being exclusive, i suggest holding her hands..dont ask just do it and see her reaction. If she wants to clarify the situation she'll bring it up.

 

[ScrewIt]

Well on the thrid date i asked i called her make plans on a saturday night, called her in the afternoon. She said she was tired and the weatehr was crappy. (we went out late the night before), and she asked if i wanted to come over to her place to watch movies. So we eneded up watching movies on her couch and making out alot. With this kid of girl id assume its exclusive.

That doesnt say much for exclusivity, any guy/girl that's casual dating can do the same.

Possibly the ones that do want exclusivity hold out on sex until the 1-2 month mark. have you done her yet?