How do you keep an LTR from becoming a comfort trap?

[2Rocky]

Maybe this is a question for the MMSL crowd, but here goes.

For many of us in our 40's we get divorced and reinvent ourselves...Fitter, hustling more, no more Mr. Nice Guy, using our time really effectively, and going after goals we never would have had before....And women notice. We date around, have some ONS's, plate's, whatever and after a few years one rises to the top.

And we fall back into our old habits because we "hit the goal"

Now I'm not here to argue whether LTR's are good or not. For the majority of guys, eventually it is the culmination of their game. How to you keep achieving in your life and stay motivated in your career, personal life and relationships the way you were at your peak when you bagged your "10"?

 

[bat soup]

I think the main thing is to stay in control of your own life. Don't let a woman move in and start distracting you from your goals. Set boundaries and enforce them.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The thing you have to understand, is just as you are at the height of your game, she is at the height of her coonery when it comes to being between 40-45... She is on a limited time frame, she knows it.

You are better to grab some young 35 year old so u can atleast take some time to indoctrinate her and maybe even have a kid.

 

[Serenity]

You start off never having the desire for women be the driver of your actions. Because once you find a woman you want to stay with the drive goes away as you have observed.

This can be hard for a lot of guys because it's sooo easy to fool yourself into thinking you're not doing all of it for women, but subconsciously that's still the primary drive. What you want to do in life must be for you because you want to do it, ambitions which are completely separate from women that you'll work on whether there's a woman by your side or not.

The mistake is being trapped in the cycle of heavily working on yourself when you lost a woman and know you'll want another soon, only to become complacent when you get the next woman. If you're in that cycle it should be very obvious that you've been doing the right things for the wrong reasons.

Athletes who grow complacent when they win their first gold medal don't stay on the top for long, they have to keep it up to remain where they have come. If all they wanted was to win a single gold medal then fair enough, but why would anyone spend all that effort for only one medal? They want to keep winning and must do what it takes. If you want to keep winning at life you can never become too complacent, not until you you're happy with the consequences of it.

 

[metalwater]

Maybe this is a question for the MMSL crowd, but here goes.

For many of us in our 40's we get divorced and reinvent ourselves...Fitter, hustling more, no more Mr. Nice Guy, using our time really effectively, and going after goals we never would have had before....And women notice. We date around, have some ONS's, plate's, whatever and after a few years one rises to the top.

And we fall back into our old habits because we "hit the goal"

Now I'm not here to argue whether LTR's are good or not. For the majority of guys, eventually it is the culmination of their game. How to you keep achieving in your life and stay motivated in your career, personal life and relationships the way you were at your peak when you bagged your "10"?

the seasons of life change, what was once a mystery no longer matters, those things that seemed important, are only important to teach the young. mother nature will provide perspective.

look up self-Actualized, It is a superset of this topic.