"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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how do you guys feel about this scenario

blueline

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Having an FWB situation where you hang out with the girl basically every evening and everyday of the weekend. For all intents and purposes, you guys are basically a couple except there has been no explicit commitment discussion. From her behavior (PDA's, tons of sex/affection, she cries and gets really angry the time you dump her to see if she has any feelings for you), it seems like you have her. She says things like "you'd better not have sex with other girls" and "you don't go out to the bar to meet new girls anymore, do you?"

Then one weekend you come home from a party to recount a funny story of a girl being too aggressive with you and she says "You know, it's okay if you have sex with other people, just don't let me find out about it." You probe the question further and you find out that she's not saying it out of insecurity. So, you sleep next to her that night but refuse to have sex with her or kiss her. The next morning, you wakeup and you dump her as you leave her apartment. She cries and looks really upset with you.

You check in with her in a few days and she tells you she's not angry with you anymore but refuses to have sex with you anymore and tries to LJBF you. The recurring quote is "it was fun and I have no regrets." She looked almost happy.

How do you feel about having a girl you've hung out with/had sex with basically everyday (in her words, we were dating) for two months being ****ed by other guys? She thought this was totally OK.

Dirty back story: This girl has been with 17 guys by the age of 21 and has never been in a relationship. She claims to have never had emotional sex. It was my goal to see if I could get her to fall for me, but it didn't really workout obviously.
 

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blueline

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I turned the aggressive party girl down entirely. I said that story to her more to show her that I really like her, lol.

God dammit, I was starting to like this girl, and then boom, something stupid like this destroys a very stable relationship. I probably wouldn't have reacted so strongly had I not known that she'd been with 17 guys yet never had been in a relationship before.

The only long term thing she had in the past was one where both her and the guy slept with other people throughout the year and a half that they hooked up w/ each other.

I apologized profusely to her for acting as harsh as I did and just ditching her like that in person. She didn't accept an apology and I guess thought I was too into her for the FWB arrangement, although she basically lead me on into thinking it was something else with some of her statements that she then selectively forgot.
 

blueline

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Yeah, I've tried to think of it in terms of me dumping her, but I can't. I've been owned. It all became really clear in this last week we haven't spent together and I saw her get picked up by a black guy (he was good looking as hell, waaaay out of her league) at the bar I met her for the second time at.

To dig things in further, her girlfriend sneered at me and tried to stop her boyfriend (my friend) from talking to me. What the fuck, I didn't do all that much wrong. Perhaps trying to take her back after I dumped her was poor form? Hell if I know.

The totally messed up thing is that I was better looking and cooler than her, too. That's why I was initially on the fence about her, but then, she really charmed me with how nice and stable she was. Really, I was not into this girl's appearance all that much. I mean, she was cute (I guess 6.5?), but god damn, relative to my past girlfriends, she doesn't hold a candle in terms of looks. She knew this, she'd met some of these girls in the past.

I'm really sick of sluts, man. This is the second slut in a row. I cheated on OP girl with the first slut of this sequence in the beginning of the relationship and stopped after two weeks because I thought this girl was really into me.

I feel like all I can get sometimes is hot sluts and psychotic babes (literally mental institution level). The normal girls that are into me are plain janes and largely unattractive. I've approached enough women to know that getting the hot ones is an extremely rare thing for me and I must approach girl after girl to meet one that's into me. To be fair, I was a virgin until around this time last year and since then I have hooked up with 6 girls (one of those was a 4 mos relationship with a bipolar girl, but hey, at least that girl definitely loved me and she was totally blazing hot).

I'm just fucking frustrated. I don't want sluts or women with mental disorders. I've had HPD, NPD, and BPD/bipolar girls now. I'm fucking sick of it; I want to be in love. It's these sluts/mentally disordered women that make me believe that her self-esteem is a huge component in determining whether or not a girl gets with you and it's the normal attractive girls turning me down that make me believe that looks are the most important factor in determining whether or not you get a girl.

I've gotten with nice girls that weren't so attractive. I know how to get with them, it's the same way you get with any other girl. It's really no different if they're hot. If they aren't into you at hello (i.e. at least friendly and not guarded), then forget them.
 
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