"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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how do I become more sociable

GaryUranga

Master Don Juan
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dum dee dum

ok, old AFC question, right? well yeah but basically what do you guys think is the main thing to stick with for this, Im trying being more chatty with my friends, Im usually real quiet unless Im trying or im on state bottom line Im trying to make this my default state a sociable awesome to chat with guy but Im seeming to be crashing against a wall the "I dont know what to say next syndrome" apparently, Im workign on this on a daily basis but what do you guys think is a good way to speed up this process.

this is really an issue for me that I want to get dealt, most girls are initially into me but its not gogin anywhere cecause Im beign quiet, atm the hottest girl in uni (as my friends and I call her) "likes me" as one of my friends who knows her pretty well told me but Im basically seeing no point of even goign for that before I can even be more sociable on a decently competent level.

thanks, JC
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Be genuinely interested in people. Stop wasting effort trying to think of what you're going to say next and start paying attention to what the people around you are saying. You'd be surprised at the things you can say to keep the conversation going were actually interested enough in what the people were saying that you actually listened more instead of thinking inside your head all the time. Add to that having a personal opinion about various things and being confident and willing to share your opinions with other people; plus being interested in their feedback. That's all you'd need to do to cover the bases.
 

AKA FLEX

Master Don Juan
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Im seeming to be crashing against a wall the "I dont know what to say next syndrome" apparently, Im workign on this on a daily basis but what do you guys think is a good way to speed up this process.
Four words: whatever comes to mind.

Just start speaking your mind when you're talking to people, whether it's chicks, dudes, old people, young people, etc. If you're thinking it, say it. Lose your internal monologue and stop searching for the right thing to say.

Will you say some awkward stuff at first? Yes, but the more you do this, the better you will get at thinking on your feet, and your conversation skills will improve tenfold, I promise.
 

Miguel

Don Juan
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Around Toronto, On. Canada.
I agree with both Flex and Fran. Just remember the best thing for you to do is pratice, pratice, pratice.
 

Nygard

Senior Don Juan
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Hey, J. You dont plow and step in top on conversations like making your act in the scene of a sitcom, you're supposed to enjoy them and have a good time. Let go a little, I dont think that's gonna stop them from liking you or anything.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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