How can I recover from an awkward phone call?

[Blackhole105]

About three and a half weeks ago I met a girl at a bar. We did a lot of dancing--lots of kino. I could tell she was into me. I got her number at the end of the night.

I texted her the next day and it went alright, though I think I stretched it out a little too much. Over the next couple weeks, I asked her out often and she would always decline, yet would often counteroffer (this was all through text, btw). After a couple weeks of that same song and dance I pretty much gave up on her, but then, out of the blue, she texts me saying that she's gonna be in town and wants to meet up. So on Friday night we meet up at a bar. The night was pretty awesome. We made out and held hands, it all felt very natural. The following couple days she blows up my cellphone with text messages. I play it cool and reply at my leisure...

Anyway, it dawned on me yesterday that texting is only going to get me so far. If I want to keep making ground with her and get her to come out with me again I'm gonna have to grab my nuts and call her.

So last night, amid texting back and forth, I ask her if she can talk. She says yes and so I call her...and this is where I ran into my problem. The conversation was flat. I wasn't very funny, and I stumbled over my words sometimes. Worst of all the conversation wasn't very flirtatious in the least. I told her that she should come by on the weekend, and she seemed noncommittal. I acted like a total AFC, trying to persuade her by saying "you should totally come by next weekend" and crap like that. It was a total let down after an awesome night on Friday...the phone call lasted about 15 minutes.

I'm gonna pull back for a few days and wait for her to make first contact...I don't know, maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion...what do you guys think?

 

[joverby]

Yeah, you really gotta relax and get some confidence, man. Spot on with not asking for permission to call, don't do that. Just call, if she can talk she can, if she can't she won't pick up.

Also, it sounds like you know but quit texting so much. Save it for when you actually have something to say or confirm.

But you freaking out over this is probably an indicator of why your phone call went the way it did. You were probably all nervous thinking about what you were going to say and were "try-harding" on the call to be really funny or something. So it came off as awkward.

Gotta relax, bro!

 

[Iceberg]

If I can emphasize something that PHAT Rabbit said - call to set something up.

Not just "You should come by this weekend." You said she was non-committal, but that was a non-committal offer from you. Call with the direct purpose of "Hey, there's a band playing at 7pm on Saturday. You should come see it with me."

I mean, you don't have to be all business. You should chat a little bit. But I'm not a big fan of phone conversations, so my calls are normally:

Me: "Hey how's it going?"
Girl: "Ah, I've been working a lot. Blah blah."
Me: "Yeah work sucks. I'm gonna quit my job and make you buy me stuff."
Girl: :laughs: blah blah
Me: "Yeah so, this Saturday....."

I'm not trying to get into some awkward 15 minute phone conversation. Get in and get out.

 

[joverby]

If I can emphasize something that PHAT Rabbit said - call to set something up.

Not just "You should come by this weekend." You said she was non-committal, but that was a non-committal offer from you. Call with the direct purpose of "Hey, there's a band playing at 7pm on Saturday. You should come see it with me."

I mean, you don't have to be all business. You should chat a little bit. But I'm not a big fan of phone conversations, so my calls are normally:

Me: "Hey how's it going?"
Girl: "Ah, I've been working a lot. Blah blah."
Me: "Yeah work sucks. I'm gonna quit my job and make you buy me stuff."
Girl: :laughs: blah blah
Me: "Yeah so, this Saturday....."

I'm not trying to get into some awkward 15 minute phone conversation. Get in and get out.

Definitely that. Save the convos for when you actually know the person, or it's bound to get awkward. You aren't trying to be her entertainer or anything, you are just trying to set up a date so you can get to know her better.

Also, not sure if he was serious with the cold pizza voicemail but I WOULDN'T leave a voicemail at all. UNLESS, it goes straight to voicemail. If it doesn't go straight to voicemail that means she will see a missed call. If she calls/texts you back cool, if not, cool. You know where she stands.

 

[Blackhole105]

Yeah, maybe I am being too hard on myself...I have a tendency to be like that. I mean honestly, why would I want to spend time with a girl who nexts me because of one less-than-stellar phone call?

Thanks sosuave!

 

[rainmandc]

You shouldn't have called her for a talk in a first place. Call when you want to arrange date, not to say "whats up", leave that for relationship. Anyway, don't think she will mind it if she is interested. Be patient and if she hasn't confirmed anything its best for you to wait for her call.