She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I agree with this. There is a fine line and is often blurred by people that can't tell the difference.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Great illustrationI'll tell you one thing....Mutual respect trumps submission any day. There is a difference. Anyone who manages people for a living will tell you that. It applies to your personal relationships as well.
I recall a woman I was considering putting in the dating rotation. She started off bringing me a beer at an event so I hung out there with her and her friend. Pretty soon she askes me "Hey you want another beer?" I said "No I gotta go get on the road pretty soon..."
She said "Damn, I was gonna tell you to bring us a couple as well"
"Alright I'll catch you later..." And I turned on my heel and left.
Every time I've seen her since she has bought me a beer without me asking....But I've also returned the favor without asking...
It is about Leading from the Front. "I'm going here, you can follow"
What you see is respect, mistaken for submission.