high vs low energy gaming

[mikeraw]

I've asked this before and I'll ask it again...

I don't always have high energy and all the advice, routines, and approaches.... heck, even THE ENTIRE ATTITUDE that is endorsed by the pick up community assumes that one has to be outgoing and full of energy. And I completely agree with this... but is there any way to either raise your enthusiasm or energy level... or just be able to pick up with a low energy level?

Yes, I know James Bond is always laid back and relaxed, but even before he has a chance to make witty remarks or verbally seduce someone, he is approached simply because of his looks... I'm good looking but no Brad Pitt... I dress well but don't normally wear a tux. And besides, James Bond is made up.

Well, I have a stressful job, a long drive home with lots of traffic, and I go out either on dates or to just drink with my buddies almost every single night of the year. I'm almost 28... not exactly a spring chicken but not old either.

So any ideas?

Thanks!

 

[sodbuster]

There is no law saying you need to go out every night of the week,so on occasion,you could stay home and do some self improvement. But,if you want to go low energy with the boys,just lay back and have fun. Don't worry about the women. they'll find you. At a meeting about 3 years ago, I was sitting[actuallyalmost laying-you know,slouched in the chair,feet up on another] with a friend in the hotel lounge after the meeting. Sitting there laughing,joking etc. Started a conversation with the airline pilot sitting at the next table-BSing and joking with him. Just laid back relaxing and having fun. By the end of the night,I had 2 stewardesses hitting on me[my luck I was married at the time][we really weren't paying much attention to them]

 

[speakeasy]

I know what you mean. I myself can be outgoing and quite talkative when I'm around someone I click well with and find interesting, but otherwise, I have a pretty laid-back personality and not exactly the bubbly talk-about-anything-with-anyone type. I think for guys like us, we'd benefit most from environments where we get to know a girl over over a period of time. College would seem a good place, or even work if you're cool with dating coworkers. Not saying guys like us can't pick up in the streets and clubs if we put our mind to it, but like you said that type of game comes most natural to the more outgoing guys. Also, perhaps it would help to work on "attracting" as opposed to gaming. Someone posted something interesting in the main forum a few weeks ago that when you get your life together and are fulfilled, the girl problem takes care of itself. The confidence of knowing you've got your shyt together may exude itself and create more attraction from women without you having to learn routines and all that crap.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I in a rut?
Am I spinning my wheels at work?
Am I still working out?
Am I still doing my hobbies outside of dating women?
Am I overdue for a vacation?

If you said you're going out to drink or date almost every single day of the year, sounds like you're burnt out of the dating scene. My guess is that you're taking these girls to the same restaurants, drinking at the same bars, dancing at the same clubs. This is an easy way to get into a dating funk.

My advice - Stay away from women for a bit and change up your life. We all know life can become a boring routine. The same goes with dating. I recommend taking a vacation, getting back to the gym, start some new goals or finish old ones, take up a new hobby, sharpen the sword.

Honestly, if I met a man who's life revolved around work, women, and drinking with his buddies and not much else....I'd think the guy was pretty one dimensional...regardless of how many hot chicks he's banging.

Get your blood flowing again!!! When's the last time your heart beated faster than you could handle it? When's the last time your adrenaline pumped through your veins? When's the last time the hairs on the back of your neck stood straight? When's the last time you felt alive?

If its been a long time, I recommend going back to those things that made you feel alive again. Get away from women for a bit. Focus on yourself. Become multi-dimensional. Travel to Spain. Join a fight club. Go sky diving. Learn to Salsa Dance. Add more to your life. You'll return to the game renewed, refreshed, with better appreciation, and more experiences (outside of women). And who (especially women) wouldn't want to be around a well rounded, mutli-dimensional guy who's living life?

 

[#41]

I recommend taking a vacation, getting back to the gym, start some new goals or finish old ones, take up a new hobby, sharpen the sword.

All of which the OP has already stated are difficult because of his demanding job.

I don't know what most people on here do for a living (would be an interesting thread question), but I sympathize with the OP. I work a professional job that has a demanding schedule and work that doesn't go away simply because I choose to use some of my 2 weeks of paid vacation per year.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

All of which the OP has already stated are difficult because of his demanding job.

I don't know what most people on here do for a living (would be an interesting thread question), but I sympathize with the OP. I work a professional job that has a demanding schedule and work that doesn't go away simply because I choose to use some of my 2 weeks of paid vacation per year.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

Read that quote, learn it, and live it. Don't give me this p*ssy sh*t excuse that your job takes too much of your time. Cry me a freggin river. Einstein, Bill Gates, Jared from Subway, you, me, all have the same 24 hours in a day. If you want to make excuses that your job is too demanding that your body, mind, and soul must suffer because if it...then buddy...keep on suffering.

The OP already stated that he has time to go out drinking with his buds and go on dates nearly every day of the year? 365 days? Well looks like if he went 2 days a week less out with his drinking buddies, he'd have 2 extra days to go to the gym, join an MMA school, go rock climbing, volunteer, learn to cook, learn a new language....etc.

This is pretty much utter bs as an excuse that you don't have the balls to man the f*ck up. Stop making excuses for the OP and delve into your uncomfortable zone. If that means less dates...so be it. If that means an hour less sleep in the morning..so be it. If you keep on doing what you're doing...you're gonna keep getting what you're freggin getting. So change some sh*t up, stop making excuses, and maybe you'll see some freggin results.

I'm 31, single dad, work 40-45 hours a week, own 2 properties, 2 cars, have 2 college degrees, have a 1 hour commute to my job, take work home with me, train in brazilian jiu jitsu, have run 1/2 marathons, 20k's, 10k's, training for a Sprint Triathlon, date women, cook, salsa dance....sh*t. And I get 5 hours of sleep a night. Don't tell me there isn't enough time in the day for you to make yourself better....There are go getters and people who make excuses.

If you want to keep making excuses...feel free...I'll be waxing and tuning my snowboard for the upcomming season.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

accidental repost

 

[sodbuster]

As a side note,my job isn't as stressful if I'm rested and healthy vs. tired and hungover. I'm twice as fast at work. I never have more than 1 or 2 if I have to work the next day[and try for 6 hours sleep]

 

[mikeraw]

Sorry, -HPNOTIQ_... I'm already pretty much a badass.

I work out during my lunch time as there's a gym in our buiding. I speak three languages. I'm a kick-ass cook and an amazing classical pianist. I also read everything I come across... National Geographic, Playboy, Newsweek, The Economist, the classics, biographies of great historical figures and this forum. I find enough time for all these things. Maybe I don't do them all every single day, but I do most of them every day, especially the piano and the gym.

I'm not making up excuses or anything. The only reason I mentioned my job and the vehicular traffic I deal with is because if someone suggested a nap, I would've pointed that I already waste 2 hrs of my day in traffic, so no time for a nap.

By the way, #41, I'm an engnieer in an oil company. Times are good .

I think the point of my post was missed. It mostly boiled down to a question:

Is there a seduction style that relies mostly on a laid back, low-energy approach?

Just like there are several styles of martial arts (karate, kung-fu, drunken boxing) emphasizing different aspects of the engagement, is anyone familiar with a LOW-ENERGY seduction technique?

If there isn't one, then what can I do? Red-bull 'til I puke? Good ol' white stuff? Bring girls down to my energy level? What?

Thanks in advance for any replies!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

mikeraw...

Sounds like your life is interesting, well rounded, and rewarding. My 'rant' wasn't specifically directed at you, just at people who make excuses on why their lives aren't as complete as they want them to be. By all accounts, you're doing the good stuff. People with well rounded, rewarding lives are the one's who attract the same - in women, men, business, etc.

As for slow and easy seduction style. There was a thread a few years ago by a fellow sosuaver named 'Oxide'. The thread talked about something called the "Ego Tower".

Here's the thread..its a gread read: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=61599&highlight=oxide+tower

It doesn't go specifically into your desire for a 'slow seduction' style, but, it does make you realize that if the IL from the woman is sufficient enough - you can work seduction, slow, fast, medium - heck...you can even act AFC at times - and your seduction can STILL work. Its less an idea of techinques, styles, snares/traps...rather...the thread Oxide started goes into how overthinking situations can get a fella in trouble and that sometimes, less is more.

 

[englishman]

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."



The OP already stated that he has time to go out drinking with his buds and go on dates nearly every day of the year? 365 days? Well looks like if he went 2 days a week less out with his drinking buddies, he'd have 2 extra days to go to the gym, join an MMA school, go rock climbing, volunteer, learn to cook, learn a new language....etc.

T

I agree

 

[#41]

I'm 31, single dad, work 40-45 hours a week, own 2 properties, 2 cars, have 2 college degrees, have a 1 hour commute to my job, take work home with me, train in brazilian jiu jitsu, have run 1/2 marathons, 20k's, 10k's, training for a Sprint Triathlon, date women, cook, salsa dance....sh*t. And I get 5 hours of sleep a night. Don't tell me there isn't enough time in the day for you to make yourself better....There are go getters and people who make excuses.

If you want to keep making excuses...feel free...I'll be waxing and tuning my snowboard for the upcomming season.

I work 60-65 hours per week. I own a car, have a college degree and a professional degree. I'm also close to $75,000 in debt for school. I commute an hour each way. I also can't function properly on 5 hours sleep for more than a day or two at a time. I go to the gym 3-4 times per week.

So no, there isn't enough time in the day for me. Guess I'm just not as cool as you.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I work 60-65 hours per week. I own a car, have a college degree and a professional degree. I'm also close to $75,000 in debt for school. I commute an hour each way. I also can't function properly on 5 hours sleep for more than a day or two at a time. I go to the gym 3-4 times per week.

So no, there isn't enough time in the day for me. Guess I'm just not as cool as you.

Keep saying there isn't enough time in the day for you, and there won't be.

For a guy that had enough drive to obtain 2 college degrees, work 65 hours/wk and go to the gym 3-4 times - you have a pretty defeated attitude about the amount of time you have in your life to work with. I'm guessing at 26 years old, working 65 hours/wk, your career is starting to burn you out - being in the hole 75k isn't helping you either. That's pretty obvious. Honestly, I feel for ya bro - but in the end, if you are comfortable believing that there isn't enough room for change in your life - then you don't need change. If you are comfortable working 65 hours/wk - then you don't need change. If you are comfortable with how things are in your life - then you don't need change.

You only need change when you get uncomfortable with your life. Excuses make things comfy. Routines make things comfy. Poor imaginations make things comfy. When you're finally sick of the way things are and don't want to take it anymore - then you will be uncomfortable - then you will change.

#41, this post isn't geared directly to you or even mikeraw - but for any guy that believes there isn't enough hours in the day to improve themselves. I'd like to sit down and buy a beer for a guy working 65 hours/wk though. Sounds like a pretty hellish schedule.

Hey..at least you got one thing right. :cheer: I AM cooler than you..haha:cheer:

 

[mikeraw]

Last night while partying in downtown Austin, I got shot down by every chick I talked to except one drunk skank. I blame this on low energy. I won't dwell on it, but today I'm motivated and energetic.

I will now proceed to take on Lake Travis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpbKsbfQxT0&feature=related

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.