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High Cost of Divorce Money Article - female biased :(

Heretolearn

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Article appearing on money section of popular unisex website (bet most of the readers are female though)

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Key points
A guide to the financial impact of divorce
Women have a larger drop in disposable income that men
It may be worth setting up a pre-nuptial agreement
Women should maintain personal savings and credit records through out their marriage
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From Money Magazine, July 2005

Divorce can mean the end of financial security, so with the rate of break-ups hitting 48 percent, Nicola Field, in July's Money, has compiled a guide to what to expect and how to cope. Women are invariably harder hit, with a massive 43 percent average drop in income — from about $50,000 when first married to $28,900 one year after the split.

Offsetting this can be the fact that women with custody of children can receive a bigger stake of the family home, cash and furniture. But they can also expect a smaller proportion of other investments and there may be a lot still owing on the home.

Newly divorced men face a relatively small drop in disposable income but can expect costs associated with seeing their children (phone and fuel bills) and changes to their new home to accommodate overnight visits. They can also struggle to get back into the property market. The property settlement can be a big drain on both parties. An amicable deal can cost $2000 each in legal fees, but if there's a fight, legal bills can swallow the entire assets.

How to recover from all this? Take stock of your situation; set child-support payments; apply for all relevant benefits; make a budget; cancel all joint credit cards and bank accounts to avoid taking on your ex's debts; get up to speed on financial skills; protect any lump-sum settlement; update your will; ensure you have health, property, car and income insurance.

Before the event, it may be worth thinking about a pre-nuptial agreement, which can help preserve your wealth if the marriage fails. But a better plan, especially for women, would be to focus on your own financial security by maintaining personal savings and credit records with at least one bank account, and credit card, in your name.


- Is it just me, or is that female biased. First, I imagine that the reduction of income in females would likely be explained by moving from full time work to part time work or not working but having income producing assets moved out of the wife's name etc.
Point: That figure and paragraph distorts the impact of divorce on a woman's income as divorce does not affect their ability to produce income but THEIR CHOICES after divorce does


- as for pre-nuptial agreements in AUS, a major weakness is that they cover assets brought into the marriage, not what is earnt during the marriage.

eg.

pre marriage

woman works and has house
man has nothing finishing studies


during marriage
woman becomes housewife
man becomes high powered senior professional earning $200k per year


post marriage

pre nup means
woman gets house, man has nothing

asset allocation means everything man earnt during marriage is split between the two parties.



Crazy. How could the man have protected himself except by being 'dubious' and putting some of his earnings in private storage.
 

joekerr31

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i will say this.

most of the divorce scenarios i know of and have heard about, the woman gets absolutely taken tot he cleaners. now i live in canada, might be differnet in the US.

there are a LOT of women who get the emotional sh*t beaten out of them during a divorce. the man once facing divorce turns on them like its a bloodsport and drags it out to punish her as much as possible. they do their best to make it so expensive and emotionally painful that the women basically just give ina dn walk away with very little.

you guys know from my posts that im not pro either gender. I'm about facts and reality.

the truth is that when it comes to divorce its usually the good party that gets hurt hte most short term. there are women who sit on their *sses their whole life, cheat on their man, divorce him, take half his money, and hook up with rich husband #2 while poor frank is left devistated, in financial shambles, etc.

its generally the coniving, lying, cheating bastard / b*tch that inflict damage and pain on the party they have screwed over to start with.

so with regards to divorce, i call a spade a spade and honestly believe that there are an equal number of cases of men and women who get totally screwed, and that more often than not they are good peopel who were loyal, faithful and kind in their marriage (and got blindsided at some point).

whcih leads to my other piece of advice. BE F*CKING CAREFUL WHO YOU MARRY.

it's the BIGGEST decision you can make as a man. it will be hte most dominent factor as far as external variables which affect your happiness go.

Better to stay single than pick an "Enron" wife.
 

Heretolearn

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Well said Joekerr31!


so many persons are careful about their investments/lives etc yet very untidy with the major investment in their life (time and partner).

:(
 

WestCoaster

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I know quite a few divorcees, men and women. In each and every case, the man got screwed and is doing way worse than the woman, and paying out the nose for it.

Also, if a woman is cheating, she's "finding herself," while if a man cheats, he's a pig. As noted here, women can have kids by other men and the live-in boyfriend who didn't donate the sperm is often still forced to pony up child support if they break up.

Perhaps because I live in the ultra-AFC Northwest, land of the feminazis, but I've yet to see a case where the man is doing well after the divorce, or a case where the man is doing better than the woman. No freaking way.
 

dietzcoi

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From my experience West Coaster is right.

I do not know who thinks women get screwed in divorces.

Most divorces are instituted by women, not men.

I am sure both parties lose in a divorce, but this site is for men. What is the point of posting about women who get screwed over? Divorce is ALWAYS negative for the man, even if he was the "bad" one in the marriage.

But Joeker is right, BE CAREFUL who you marry.

Most men are not careful - and won't learn. Why else do some men get married more than once?

Dietzcoi
 

ElChoclo

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Dietzcoi and Westcoaster are correct, in any Western industrialized society.

You should note that BFAs (binding financial agreements) operate to affect both brought in assets and after acquired assets, that is, stuff built up during the marriage or before.

Dietzcoi is right also that women institute most divorces. Do you think they would do that if they really believed that they would be financially much worse off?

As Dr Warren Farrell says, the government becomes their new "husband" picking up the tab.

I always say that marriage is the most important contract which a man ever enters into, with more pomp and ceremony than any other, yet it is the least enforceable. Sort of like those impressive blue documents used by fraudsters. They had to dress up the deal, because it is a very bad deal for the man.
 

Phyzzle

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In Australia and the U.K., and in several U.S. states, there are no terms for the woman. That is, the marriage contract requires that the woman do . . . nothing. Not file taxes jointly, not to live with the husband, not to stop having sex with other men. Nothing.

However, the man agrees to asset forfeiture and to pay alimony, in the event of divorce.

(Just what I've read. Don't have any divorced friends in Australia or UK.)

A lot of men are in favor of replacing the complexity of marriage and prenups (which can be nullified under various circumstances) with a single nuptial agreement, where the terms of the contract are laid out.

"You may kiss the bride, and initial here."
 
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