"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Hi, problems help me out :)

BuryYourDead

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ok theres this girl or w.e, during the school year it was obvous to me and everyone that she liked me, well now come summer and we talk every day on the msn and occalanly phone ( not to oftenly) but anyways my point is we realy ahvnt been hanging out at all and shes starting to lose interest i think cause she dont start converstaions every time i log in or w.e anymore and **** i dun know if i should just give up and move on or just make a move myself cause i cant waitfor her to do so much longer cause i dont want to be stuck on one girl that doesnt like me anymore and ruin my summer...what do u suggest i do? and if u suggest i make a move what the **** should i do smile.gif


also i go on msn around twice a day...is this making me too available???
should i cut that down i mean i quit myspace but thats only making me log onto msn more should i cut this down>>
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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first off i dont know youre situation 100%, but i can relate... how you said it was seems liek the same reason i came here.

don't give up.

first mistake is talking too much online -- you reveal too much about youreself and learn about her too much that you wont know what to say in person.

second mistake is that youre not calling her at all (i'm assuming?) -- but dont call too much. just seem like youre interested enough where shell be guessing and thinknig about it (YOU) all the time.

buddies can talk online to catch up on whats going on in life -- youre not trying to be her buddy... so catch up with her in person.

call her one day and see how she is... and ask her how her day was/is... tell her youre going somewhere and shes welcome to join you... by saying "blah blah blah... hey by the way, i'm going to the mall, youre welcome to join me". it's simple... and most people dont do invitations like that... they get all jittery and whatever.

don't get all complicated like most people would tell you and start saying cheezy things that work only in their imaginations.


well, does anyone agree or disagree?
 

BuryYourDead

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MikeS said:
first off i dont know youre situation 100%, but i can relate... how you said it was seems liek the same reason i came here.

don't give up.

first mistake is talking too much online -- you reveal too much about youreself and learn about her too much that you wont know what to say in person.

second mistake is that youre not calling her at all (i'm assuming?) -- but dont call too much. just seem like youre interested enough where shell be guessing and thinknig about it (YOU) all the time.

buddies can talk online to catch up on whats going on in life -- youre not trying to be her buddy... so catch up with her in person.

call her one day and see how she is... and ask her how her day was/is... tell her youre going somewhere and shes welcome to join you... by saying "blah blah blah... hey by the way, i'm going to the mall, youre welcome to join me". it's simple... and most people dont do invitations like that... they get all jittery and whatever.

don't get all complicated like most people would tell you and start saying cheezy things that work only in their imaginations.


well, does anyone agree or disagree?
i havnt seen her in person sice june back when there was still school and as a matter of fact i talk to people much better in person than online/phone, i would know what to say in person but im just afraid shes losing interest...thing is it it will be wierd to call her when we talk online so oftenly anyways...i say i should do somthing on msn not phone but idk you guys are the don jons not me right ;]
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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well then when youre online... be like "hey i'll just call you really soon, i have to get off and do things. k bye"... its spontanteous... she could like the spontaneous call and invitation... who knows...

just mention to her on the phone that you haven't seen her since school and you would like to get to know her more in person than online.
 

BuryYourDead

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MikeS said:
well then when youre online... be like "hey i'll just call you really soon, i have to get off and do things. k bye"... its spontanteous... she could like the spontaneous call and invitation... who knows...

just mention to her on the phone that you haven't seen her since school and you would like to get to know her more in person than online.
i c i c, before school was out she was always like hinting that we shoudl hang out and s*it whenever i would talk about like weed or w/e she would come out of nowhere and be like HEY ALL 3 OF US SHOULD HANG OUT AND SMOKE SOMETIME, happened like 3 times before schooll ended

anyways any other ideas??
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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ive done that sh.t before. i think you should quit and tell her to quit if she wants to hangout with you. but its youre choice.

do you know why you get a buzz? because its killing brain cells. why would you want to get high and feel like youre dead... when you can take better... drugs... like go speed off adderall or something... but a warning to that sh.t... its bad for heart... but better yet, don't do any drugs at all... keep youre moods and feelings natural. drugs make you feel good at the time... then when its over... you have the bad **** happening all over again... while being burnt out. pretty much you can't change the way things are unless you face it normally...

anyways.. im not saying you have hidden problems or anything... just pointing out how it is to me.

and if you try persuading her to quit... she could think... wow he actually cares about me, and hes not a total dumbass like most of the people who i get high with.
 

BuryYourDead

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MikeS said:
ive done that sh.t before. i think you should quit and tell her to quit if she wants to hangout with you. but its youre choice.

do you know why you get a buzz? because its killing brain cells. why would you want to get high and feel like youre dead... when you can take better... drugs... like go speed off adderall or something... but a warning to that sh.t... its bad for heart... but better yet, don't do any drugs at all... keep youre moods and feelings natural. drugs make you feel good at the time... then when its over... you have the bad **** happening all over again... while being burnt out. pretty much you can't change the way things are unless you face it normally...

anyways.. im not saying you have hidden problems or anything... just pointing out how it is to me.

and if you try persuading her to quit... she could think... wow he actually cares about me, and hes not a total dumbass like most of the people who i get high with.
ok ok lets keep more on topic here, but thanks for your advice i should proably keep in consideration seeing as how i only started a year ago and i can still quit :]

so any other suggestions on the 1st post or anyone vouvh what mike said on the second one? or reply to something other than weed

btw thanks mike that advice will realy help me i think not the weed one but the other ;]
 

oakraiderz2

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Stop talking to her online and hang out with her. Learn how the fvck to spell and type a sentence with semi appropriate grammar. Drugs are bad, but do what you want.
 

Tom Juan

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Read my topic about pinging in the don juan discussion forum.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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Tom Juan said:
No problem, glad to help!
i hope you ****ing die. ****ing idiot... you didnt even write that 'pinging' ****... you didnt even help this dude. **** **** **** **** ****ing retard! i hate ****ing idiots. mother ****ing dumbass *****... people like you piss me off.

please just get off this forum you ****ing dumbass.

you pissed me off.. i usually dont type out cuss words.
 

Tom Juan

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MikeS said:
i hope you ****ing die. ****ing idiot... you didnt even write that 'pinging' ****... you didnt even help this dude. **** **** **** **** ****ing retard! i hate ****ing idiots. mother ****ing dumbass *****... people like you piss me off.

please just get off this forum you ****ing dumbass.

you pissed me off.. i usually dont type out cuss words.
What the hell is wrong with you? Stop smokin weed and get laid!
 

adpreston1988

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If you end up hanging out with her let her know that you quit smoking weed and was hoping that she'll quit as well. She'll either be flattered you care about her or will get pissed off (in which case she's not worth being with anyways)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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