Hi, new guy here, needing urgent advice

[oldRocker]

In short, the situation is this:
A woman I've known since she was a teenager but whom I haven't seen for decades (she's from another town, like 300Kms from where I live), found me on facebook last January. She sent me a friendship request and I accepted. She used to stay online very shortly -- she posted like one or 2 things and disappeared. We exchanged some chat lines, always brief things at first, but later she had problems with her PC and as I am a computer and networks technician, I spent some time trying to help her by directing her through the chat on how to solve the problem. She succeeded but the PC needs a lot more optimisation that can only be done hands on. I remembered then that I had to travell to her town to take care of some other personal business and told her I could take a look at her PC the day I went there.However, the main, more interesting online interaction between us was mostly on posting links to youtube songs. That's how she began an escallation in trying to attract my interest and make me believe she was interested in me, by posting a few songs with themes that were meaningful to a past attempt at approaching her that I had made when she was 16 years old but that I had given up on, because of our age difference and the distance at which we lived from each other. Until one day (about 10 days ago) she posted a Pink song on my wall with lyrics that literally described our past and present interaction (the lyrics went something like "you broke my heart, but we could fall in love again", blah,blah, etc) and -- to make it even more enticing to me -- above the video link she wrote "think about me while you listen to this". When I saw this, I posted that I Looooved the song, but she ignored it totally, not even clicked "Like" on my answer. I was so puzzled that I thought my answer maybe wasn't good enough, and (idiot me!) I sent her a private message and told her that, just like the song said I had already fallen in love with her again!
Her 1st answer: "I don't know what to say!!!"
I noticed then, through the facebook chat, that she left her cellphone on all night like if waiting for my reaction... it was the only time she left it on all night, but I'm not sure if it was coincidence.
I didn't say anything more -- the next day I asked what was the reason for her indecision, and after another day without answering my last message she wrote back saying that she liked me a lot, but... "only as a friend"!!!!
Now, if you still remember what I said above, before the "Yes we could fall in love again" song I had promised her I would fix her computer the day I would have to go to her town to take care of some other business (which is true) -- that was supposed to be next monday, but now I don't know what to do anymore... where did I blow it during the facebook interactions?... shell I postpone my trip to her town and keep her waiting?... or shell I just tell her to ask her next boyfriend to fix her computer? (I know all her friends are complete computer illiterate idiots, lol). Or shell I use another girl I have as an fb friend (who tried to play the Emotional Tampon on me for a few days) as a jealousy object by posting love songs on her wall just when the first one is online and watch her reaction?
Thanks for your attention and patience in reading this long post -- Any suggestions and advice much appreciated.

 

[MM92]

Not seen her in decades, has a few conversations with her and confesses their love. Slightly creepy vibes.

I'd just do nothing. Carry on with life as normal until she gets back in contact. You'd not spoke to her in decades so I'm sure it won't be hard to do the same, even just for a couple of days.

Using other women to make her feel jealous is pretty pathetic and she's not worth that little effort. Just carry on as normal doing what you were doing before you got back in contact with her.

 

[oldRocker]

Not seen her in decades, has a few conversations with her and confesses their love. Slightly creepy vibes.

I'd just do nothing. Carry on with life as normal until she gets back in contact. You'd not spoke to her in decades so I'm sure it won't be hard to do the same, even just for a couple of days.

Using other women to make her feel jealous is pretty pathetic and she's not worth that little effort. Just carry on as normal doing what you were doing before you got back in contact with her.

Thank you for your answer. My opening post was getting so long that I omitted a few minor details. Well, I've seen her in 2011 when she came to visit my home town and met me, but she had a 2 year old child and I didn't pay her almost any attention. I thought she was living toghether with the child's father, which I found out later through common friends she wasn't (she's a single mother). Before that I'd met her in 2004 but she had a boyfriend, and before in 2000 and so on, almost like every 4 years, when there's a festivity in my home town (where she has some relatives) and she comes to visit them and attend the festivities and stays for about one week. And as I said we had a crush on each other when she was 16... but I guess this details won't mean much to the overall situation...

 

[Uncharted]

She said "but only as a friend"

That's all I needed to read. Your princess is in another castle.

 

[oldRocker]

She said "but only as a friend"

That's all I needed to read. Your princess is in another castle.

so, you mean the "friendzone" is some kind of dungeon of doom from which it's impossible to get out once one is thrown into it?... just curious if there's still a way to turn the situation -- she's still on my facebook, though I decided to stop chatting with her and she even gave me her 2 cellphone numbers so that I can meet her when I go to her hometown...
just wondering...
Moreover when I post something related to other girls she immidiately counter-posts something related, (without comenting on my own posts)... why does she have to post immidiately after my posts? that's odd, I think...

 

[May_Day]

she wrote back saying that she liked me a lot, but... "only as a friend"!!!!...

How old are you oldrocker? This "only as a friend" remark should tell you everything.

A woman I've known since she was a teenager but whom I haven't seen for decades (she's from another town, like 300Kms from where I live)

She sent me a friendship request and I accepted. She used to stay online very shortly -- she posted like one or 2 things and disappeared.

We exchanged some chat lines, always brief things at first

When I saw this, I posted that I Looooved the song, but she ignored it totally, not even clicked "Like" on my answer.

I was so puzzled that I thought my answer maybe wasn't good enough, and (idiot me!) I sent her a private message and told her that, just like the song said I had already fallen in love with her again!
Her 1st answer: "I don't know what to say!!!"

and after another day without answering my last message she wrote back saying that she liked me a lot, but... "only as a friend"!!!!

From reading this, I don't see her liking you very much. Looks like you are searching for any clue to give you some hope.

Well, I've seen her in 2011 when she came to visit my home town and met me, but she had a 2 year old child

(she's a single mother).

Here's a reason why you shouldn't try to date her.

 

[VladPatton]

Waaaay to much Facebook/computer interaction. None of this is in real life. It means very little. And yes, the Friend Zone is actually worse than a dungeon that you can't get out of. She confirmed this when she said "only as a friend".

Translation: "I'm never gonna let you bang me, but you can still come fix my computer next time you're in town".

You should of just mentioned you were going to be in town on XXXday and that you should get a drink/lunch/whatever together. That's it. Her reaction would of been your confirmation of she wants anything or not. It's pretty simple. But...since things ended up this way, I'd just forget about her pc and go about my business in town. She wasn't shy about airdropping you in to the Friend Zone and you have no obligations towards her.

Good luck

 

[oldRocker]

How old are you oldrocker? This "only as a friend" remark should tell you everything.



From reading this, I don't see her liking you very much. Looks like you are searching for any clue to give you some hope.


"(she's a single mother)".
Here's a reason why you shouldn't try to date her.

I'm old enough to not having any chance of finding many women that are still young enough to not having any kids already, that's what...

 

[oldRocker]

Waaaay to much Facebook/computer interaction. None of this is in real life. It means very little. And yes, the Friend Zone is actually worse than a dungeon that you can't get out of. She confirmed this when she said "only as a friend".

Translation: "I'm never gonna let you bang me, but you can still come fix my computer next time you're in town".

You should of just mentioned you were going to be in town on XXXday and that you should get a drink/lunch/whatever together. That's it. Her reaction would of been your confirmation of she wants anything or not. It's pretty simple. But...since things ended up this way, I'd just forget about her pc and go about my business in town. She wasn't shy about airdropping you in to the Friend Zone and you have no obligations towards her.

Good luck

Thanks for your answer, VladPatton, it was clear and informative. I think what I'm gonna do is telling her I have to postpone my trip and that I'll try to direct her to fix her PC through the chat, and that if she still would like to meet me when I finally come to her home town, we could meet for a cup of coffee (in a cafe, I'm in Europe, here the American dating system works, if at all, somewhat differently). Later, my effort on helping her fix the PC problem through the internet will depend on if I get the date or not, but that I will not tell her in advance, of course. Seems like a good enough last resort plan to me...