This girl that i met 2 nights ago just walking through the hall of the apartment building at like 2am.. was with one of these girls i already know. I was a little buzzed but all i remember was starting convo with the girl i know, then asking the other girls name and then getting her phone number, and said some **** like "So yeah, we can hook up some time and hang out?" and she said yeah and was down. Then when i initially call her she wasnt there. She called me back later on that day but i wasnt home either. Then i called her the next day and talked to her... Started the convo by saying "Hey wassup HB, this is D4H here... remember me ? " And she said "yeah you're [Girls name]'s friend". I said yeah i just remember that u were cute and seemed like someone i wanted to get to know. Then we engaged in small talk, u know... where she's from.. what she did for the weekend, classes she's taking. Then i made sure to keep the convo kinda short so I said "so are you busy this coming week?" and she said she didnt know. And i said how about i call you up during the week so we can hang out sometime and get to know each other better. And she said "yeah that sounds fine". I then said "cuz u seem like someone i wanna get to know better, is the feeling mutual?" And she said yes to this as well. So far ive been getting nothing but positive responses and she seems to be down as of right now... but the way i went about this conversation wasnt how im used to. Normally what id do is call up the girl, be really friendly, nice, get her laughing, tell jokes.. have a nice long convo where i get to know her better.. but this time i went with the advice on this website, kept it serious, was direct, to the point.. and set up a time so that we can hang out together. Have i played this correctly so far? And so far since ive been getting positive signs does this mean she's interested? She hasnt acted flaky in the least bit and has been down with everything ive said about how we should hang out some time and get to know each other. And she also gave me the right #. What should my next step be? Just call her up, set up the date, meet up with her... create some rapport and use kino? Make my move?
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Hi can I get input on how well I played this?
- Thread starter D4H
- Start date
Satan Psycho
Don Juan
Based on your post, I'd bet you've been studying this site for about a month. Am I right? Either way, you obviously are just beginning to understand our way. You're on the right path though, Tiger. 
Give her a time and place (or choice of 2). If she says she's available then assume the meeting and tell her to be there. Sound like you have more calls to make.
Look, your biggest mistake of all - you didn't set up the date. Weak.
And for me personally, I would NEXT! this girl the right away if she flakes on the first date.
Fine so far. Does she herself live in the building, though? If she does, that will add a wierd dynamic. If she wasn't very attracted to you by that initial meeting then she'll most definitely feel very uncomfortable about going on a date with you, having to constantly 'bump' into you and all.
Most people will advise strongly against telling the girl she's 'cute'. If you're going to straight up tell her you think she's cute on the very first phone call, you have to be very alpha, ****y/funny, super-cool, happenin' stud whose condescending her by throwing her a bone. This will create attraction. That's what you have to focus on (unless you're super good-looking).
OK. Here you're starting to trip on your d1ck a little. Don't ask if she's busy in the coming week/month/year. You're sounding like you're about to arrange your schedule to please her. When she said she didn't know, that was ******** for "My Interest Level for you is about 50%. I think I might be ducking and dodging you soon."
Give her a time and place (or choice of 2). If she says she's available then assume the meeting and tell her to be there. Sound like you have more calls to make.
I've never, ever had even 1 girl turn me down. Am I the world's greatest Don Juan? No. Girls just don't reject guys outright. It goes against every fiber of there manipulative, game-playing beings. Take control. Don't allow luke warm answers like "that sounds fine." Unacceptable. Bust her with some ****y/Funny.
You're asking for acceptance. Bad. What's she gonna say? No?
Look, your biggest mistake of all - you didn't set up the date. Weak.
Don't make any assumptions until she shows you by her actions (like meeting you for the date) that shes not a flake.
Keep your faith in this Web site. It will not steer you wrong. A long initial phone call will inevitably be burdensome, and tiresome if you keep her on the phone long enough. Eventually, she will be faced with the problem of getting rid of you and you don't won't those annoyed feelings linked to you, but you know that now.
There are many reasons they will give you there #. I'm afraid it the worst indicator of Interest there is. She hasn't acted flakey? You've talked on the phone 1 time. She hasen't had to flake yet.
Call her. Set up the date (do it right). It looks like she's gonna flake. It's too late for rapport. That's what you're initial phone convo should have been for. Kino, yes. Always Kino. ****y/Funny - look into it.
And for me personally, I would NEXT! this girl the right away if she flakes on the first date.
THANK YOU for replying, just the kinda response i was looking for man.
Yeah i havent been going to this site for more than 2 weeks. The girl doesnt live in the building however so i wont have that ackwardness of running into her if she isnt interested. But the thing is though, alot of girls that i do want to talk to are in the apartment building. What would i do then?
I think im very attractive though, not to be ****y or anything but ive done alot of things to try to look like a pretty good looking guy. I got a picture of myself at http://members.blackplanet.com/demonic_1 - so i dunno..
Yeah after i told her that she was cute i realized that I had made a mistake, but it was too late. Can you give me an example of how u would have went about that first conversation? And an example of what you would say on the second phone convo after seeing what i did say. Also in terms of setting up dates or wutever.. im in college and dont have a car so there arent many options. Its either me going over her dorm, or her coming to my apartment, or us both taking the bus somewhere.
Also, i did the whole "is the feeling mutual" thing because i remember reading that somewhere on this website, other than that i wouldnt have. And when i would normally do my long interesting conversations id pretty much try to make myself seem like an outgoing guy, funny and get her laughing and get to know each other better, but ive strayed away from this because in the past its ended up taking me down the friendship path after a while.
Yeah i havent been going to this site for more than 2 weeks. The girl doesnt live in the building however so i wont have that ackwardness of running into her if she isnt interested. But the thing is though, alot of girls that i do want to talk to are in the apartment building. What would i do then?
I think im very attractive though, not to be ****y or anything but ive done alot of things to try to look like a pretty good looking guy. I got a picture of myself at http://members.blackplanet.com/demonic_1 - so i dunno..
Yeah after i told her that she was cute i realized that I had made a mistake, but it was too late. Can you give me an example of how u would have went about that first conversation? And an example of what you would say on the second phone convo after seeing what i did say. Also in terms of setting up dates or wutever.. im in college and dont have a car so there arent many options. Its either me going over her dorm, or her coming to my apartment, or us both taking the bus somewhere.
Also, i did the whole "is the feeling mutual" thing because i remember reading that somewhere on this website, other than that i wouldnt have. And when i would normally do my long interesting conversations id pretty much try to make myself seem like an outgoing guy, funny and get her laughing and get to know each other better, but ive strayed away from this because in the past its ended up taking me down the friendship path after a while.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
I, and probably most of the guys in here, feel good that there's someone like you who is going out there and putting in the work; putting these skills to the test. You are the kind of poster who people on this board don't mind giving advice, even when it seems obvious to the more experience people in here.
AIM: GangsterOfLoveLA
AIM: GangsterOfLoveLA
honeyshark
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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Talk to them, don't hit on them in a rude or crude way but definetely hit on them. Use them against each other since they will find out you are spending time with other girls since you live so close anyway. Being a bastard in a friendly way has always worked for me as I make no excuses for what I do and if ppl get their feelings hurt, its usually their own damn fault. .What you shouldn't do is go for the sniper approach and try to pick off one girl at a time. Think shotgun, go for them all at once , that way word doesn't get around that you like a particular girl and that girl only. This way, you set up relationships early and these girls won't prejudge you based on what they have heard from their friends, it gives you more of an opportunity to personally shape your reputation. I am not contradicting the idea of social proof here...social proof is beneficial, it just has to be used correctly.
What college do you go to? Around here there are tons of things to do, even without a car. There are about three or more college parties to choose from every weekend, museum exhibits, advanced movie screenings, and every possible kind of restaurant you could possible want. What I like to do is to take a girl to a nice restaurant just for dessert, and try to order something large and share it with her. Sounds cheap but works like a charm. I wouldn't recommend taking the bus somewhere though until you get to know her better.
1st conversation:
D4: Hello is HB there?
HB: this is HB...
D4: Hey HB, this is D4 how are u doing, what going on
HB: (usually says) oh hi D4, what's up (usually, if you start with the question of how the girl is doing, she asks it back as she is registering who is on the phone, a natural response because she doesn't know what to say immediately)
D4: I am blah blah blah...(be doing something, and tell her about it on vague term)
Depending upon what you say, she usually comments on it, especially if you sound excited about what you are doing.
Then, small talk insues. I usually try to make fun of her, not quite neg-hits but more like teasing (which is more my style). I pick things that won't be incredibly rude (like, you are sooo fat, you fatty you) but facets such as laziness, shortness (better to do this in person), and more neutral things that could be construed as rude if they were not delivered with a smirk.
Early on during small talk, she is inevitably going to be wondering why you called, and wanting to know. So, in a pause of conversation, say something like...."I am going to be doing such and such on either this day or this day, do you wanna come." This has been said on this site before, but giving two different days increases your chances that her schedule will work for one of them. This tip works really well, I use it almost always.
She responds. Don't let her fudge around, get a clear yes or no answer. Then get off the phone as soon as socially possible. I usually don't try to establish any kind of extra rapport during the phone call short of what I get from teasing because I am horrible doing it over the phone because I can't read her facial expressions, she can't read mine, and my reception always cuts out.
The second phone conversation should be pretty similar to the first.
Yeah, personally, I like to avoid talking about my romantic feelings with someone I don't really know. If the feeling is strong and mutual, you will be able to tell. Don't spell it out for her, be subtle and just assume she likes you.
You can be outgoing with her and get her laughing without falling into the friendzone. Just remember to flirt with her and use kino. As many tips on this board suggest, I have found success in bringing up topics like kissing, massages, etc. in a very kosher way in the conversation, not overtly sexual. Then, I slowly become more and sexual as I get to know her (over a short time period, like several hours). I do this by telling stories about my friends and occasionally myself. Depends on the woman though. A big way not to fall into the friendzone is to establish some kind of report and NOT FAIL to make your move. Failing to make a move has dropped me in the friendzone on multiple occasions. Don't do it. I can think of numerous times I was just sitting there, waiting for God knows what, and I regret it. Much better to get shot down than always wish you had tried to kiss the girl.
Random Comments
1. the fact that she called you back is really good. None of my HBs ever call me back, even when they are significantly interested.
2. sounds like you are doing pretty good for just 2 weeks, you came to this site already at a higher level than many.
3. you can still be friendly and joking in a short conversation, this is what works well for me. That way, she expects you to be fun and thrilling when you first hang out, which makes it easier to get her feeling relaxed around you
4. getting a chicks number in the setting you are in (college) doesn't really mean that much, sorry. Satan Psycho said "Girls just don't reject guys outright" This is pretty much dead on unless you come on really strong and are totally obvious and unsmooth, then they will reject you straight up...or, if they are with friends you are more likely to be rejected directly.
Peace.
Well at the college i go to, its out in the mountains so there really is not much to do without a car. Its either hang out with people in their apartment/dorm rooms or party. I definitely would not want to take her to a party. At parties theres a lot of people, drunk guys... and you cant really get to know or talk to her that well. If i do go over to her dorm though, i dont really wanna be hanging out with her AND her room mate. Im hoping that her room mate isnt there. I talked to her today and basically did some small chit chat and asked her how her schedule for tomorrow was looking and she told me she gets out of class at 5:30, so i suggested that i just stop by so i can hang out. She told me that was cool, but to call her back tomorrow around 6.
Mmmk... i called her today around like 6:30, but it was to tell her that i wasnt going to be able to hang out with her cuz some of my friends were going to this party. I asked if she was going out tonight as well and she said yeah she probably will be going to the same party i am. I said cool i might see u there. I ended up not going though cuz the party got busted. Should i just NEXT this chick? Got her number like a week ago and we still havent gotten together.
Why is that a reason to NEXT her?
You NEXT chicks for reason like flakiness, low IL, showing you disrespect etc. If you are still attracted to her then you don't need to next her.
From your first post my comment would be ACTIONS NOT WORDS. This applies to telling her she is cute, telling her you want to get to know her etc (all words). This is all implied by asking her out (an action).
The first time you called her should have been to set up a date, not to set up another call to set up a date. The phone is for setting up dates (but don't take it to the extreme and build NO rapport), dates are for talking.
Call her up with a specific day/time/activity to suggest. Have maybe one alternative day/time. Be in control, women like to be led by a MAN.