Here's my most recent story (First thread)

[Splendidostring]

Hi guys,

As I said in the title, It's my first thread here. As of most people who starts writing in here, I've been reading stuff on sosuave for a couple years on and off. I like to get more infos concerning relationships and woman and so on it leads me to writing this.

Here's my last story (girl related)

I've been knowing this girl, N. for about 8 years. She used to be my neighbour and we used to take walks and flirt from time to time. Since I was really shy and awkward back then, I didn't do anything. (here are the basis)

For the last couple of years we haven't talked a lot but recently (a couple weeks ago) I talked to her on MSN and she told me she was single. I precise I always was interested in the girl and I felt it was my chance and I was going to take it. So I talk with her and I set up a meeting (I didn't call it a date). Comes the friday (day of the meeting), I just arrived to my hometown and I'm waiting for her downtown. Couple minutes later she arrives WITH ANOTHER DUDE. I keep it cool, I introduce myself to the guy say hi to the girl
and make a couple jokes. I rapidly discover the guy is there to conquer the girl WITH WHATEVER MEANS HE CAN USE. And she plays the game. I still decide to tag along (I didn't listen to my brain but to my ego) meaning I wanted to WIN this. So I tell them we're going to this bar I like, which is close. We get there, I order a drink and we start talking. To make this story short, the guy didn't the girl that night and I didn't either (I was looking for a LTR with her at this point). I managed to keep my cool and stand on my grounds (told the guy I didn't like girls to become prizes and that I wasn't there to fight (I know it's a paradox with what I said earlier, I got confused and lost myself there)

So I get back home, wait a couple days and schedule another date. I got to tell that I told her it was GOING to be a DATE this time, also told her she better not bring another dude (she got the message, made it clear I was going there to have fun with her and to get to know her that was it, I wasn't interested in her other boys relation)

We get there, and this time she comes in with her young sister. Then again I keep my cool, I joke around, become friendly with the younger sister and the evening goes by smoothly. When the time comes to leave, I get her to kiss me but after that for some reasons (kids around make me feel bad) I take off quick. Next day I talk to her and she asks me why I left so quick, told her having her sister around made me feel weird about kissing her. Anyway, I schedule 1 last day (deal-breaker) and when the day comes she texts me on MSN precising her grand-mother is dead ...I call her bull**** saying she just has to tell me we're off. She doesn't answer ...2 days after, I get the info she has a new boyfriend!

As a conclusion, I know I'm doomed in this and it's fine by me. I don't want to be in a relation with a girl who lies. On a second note I'm curious to have others point of view (even though I can pretty much see what happened by now, but still I'm curious)

Have a good day,

 

[Ollie]

Seems pretty obvious that you just got the wrong idea here. You've been friends with her for a long time and always liked her, but she never thought of you that way cause you acted weak at the time and pushed her away. What's happened over the past eight years to change her mind about you? Nothing right? So you ask her to go out and she thinks in terms relative to your old "relationship" since you weren't clear with your intentions, while you were thinking it was more than it was or at least hoped when the day was over you'd be making some progress.

Granted she said she was single when you talked to her, but that doesn't mean he didn't want to be dating some other guy. It just hadn't happened yet. You really didn't stand much of a chance since you didn't know exactly much competition you had. Personally I wouldn't give up...play the friendship card and hang out with her and show her that you're not the weak little b!tch she used to hang out with. Just go into it with no expectations. It's not like she's marrying the guy. 99.9% of all relationships fail at some point.

Just to clarify fast I don't mean to focus your attention on this girl...just go out and do your thing and fit her into your busy schedule for lunch here and there or something. Your new found mysteriousness will intrigue her.

 

[slickaz]

let it go dude..
its not worth it, theres tons more women out there.

get your value up and next time dont let her feel like a prize.

remember also, girls bring other people on dates just to show you that they are not interested.
i was talking to this plate and she mentioned in passing that she was asked on a date by this other guy.
to which i smiled and said cool.
then she quickly realised i wasnt getting jealous and switched to.
but im taking my girlfriend with me so he wont pull anything and then half way through get her to talk about you (me, slickaz) and how things are going with her and me.

and this is not the first time ive heard of this.
so dont take it to heart, maybe she just was in a lull and thought she'd just test the water while she was getting something else prepared.

good luck

 

[Splendidostring]

Hey

Thanks for the follow up guys, it's appreciated.

Well, as I said, I feel fine about it

Truth being she's a girl used to the attention, most guys are licking her feet and she knows it. I think I did my best to stand up and being different but
it didn't work. Then again, I feel fine with it because at least I know I went to the bottom of it and kept my cool