Heres my big mistake, learn from it

[n00bPimp]

I just realized I've ****ed up my chances with a quality girl. On the bright side, I know why. It is so simple, my game was much higher than my value, therefore she realized my game was a strategy and not the real me.
I always had to be on the defensive, and this made her defensive too. Im talking about being c&f too much, too much challenge, acting too confident when I was scared, not establishing enough rapport (because I was more focused on turning up the sexual tension).
The lesson is:
Be humble! recognize that you're not superhuman. I do get nervous, and i do feel insecure. I should've been honest about it. If you feel nervous and you say "Honestly, im feeling nervous right now" you are putting down your shield. When she learns that you're not on the defensive her defenses will go away too. This is what I should've done, not hide it! I shouldn't have acted like im the big sh!t if my life did not reflect this.
This is what I did, I acted, i didn't live it, and people are not stupid, they KNOW this. They can tell when someone is overcompensating.

If you want to be a challenge, first make sure they're up for the challenge! Nobody likes fighting for something thats not worth their time. If somebody dares you to jump to a pool from the second floor, would you do it if the prize is $2? no, but you would do it for $100.

People know when something is not worth its price. I made myself too expensive. The price I gave myself was much higher than what i'm really worth. And nobody likes overpaying for something, this is why she rejected me. The challenge I gave her was too big for the prize.

Work on your value. Don't be all talk.
If you're the prince, don't pretend to be the king if you cant back it up every single time!

 

[DonGorgon]

^^^ great post great self observation I did something similar also

 

[true romance]

True DJ !!!! Know your mistake and fix it...
I like this post....!!

Thank you

 

[Birdem]

If you learned from it great. The problem is people recognize their mistake, but never fix it. I think your problem is you are making your problems bigger than what they really are. I also wanted to say True romance was a pretty cool movie.

 

[DavenJuan]

brother..

i have to disagree with you to an extent.

i DO believe try not being something that you are not. always be YOURSELF, but NEVER feel that you are "overpricing" yourself.

the only person that you need to take care of in this world is YOU. your price is invaluable.

of course you want to be humble, of course you want to be honest with yourself. but what are you saying? "im not good enough to talk to this girl because im not really this funny"? NO

you said your game was "higher" than your "value". this is BS my friend. dont look at your "game" as a "strategy". look at it as a part of YOU.

FAKE IT TO YOU MAKE IT. with this mindset as you THINK, you inevitably BECOME.

 

[The Bat]

You got to think it. Then you become it. And finally, you live it.

You messed up somewhere. Maybe you thought it, but you doubted it. There is no room for doubt. No room for error.

And don't just say, "I'm feeling nervous now". Say, "Even though I'm feeling nervous now, I know how to overcome it. And I know I can".

See the difference between the two?

In the first one, you only acknowledge your nervousness.

However, in the second one, you acknowledge AND have a plan to how to get rid of your nervousness.

This is what positive masculinity is. Any fool can figure out and realize that they're compensating or are falling short off the mark. But only a Man knows what he needs to do to achieve that which he is compensating for.

And it's a fool's talk to think that you've overpriced yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others around you. The idea of prize mentality is that you're a prize from absolute terms. Not relative.

Remember, think it, become it, and live it.

Remove self-doubt and you'll remove mistakes and fears altogether.

 

[n00bPimp]

You guys are really letting me have it. Lol. But its cool.
I guess my real point was that if you do not have your inner game straight then your outter game will fall to pieces. why? Because you can't back it up.

If I tell her she can't handle me while I show compliance to her, then she can smell through the BS.
Also if I ACT like a challenge by not calling her, but I pick up everytime she calls..
Or if act like I'm my own man who makes all the decisions, but I find myself giving in when she nags.
This is all saying I'm one thing, but showing its not my true self.
Its only telling her that she has to give up more for me than she will for the average guy but what she gets is something she can find anywhere else.

So this all ends up looking i'm on the defense. Like I'm insecure about myself so I have to use some lines and routines which say that i'm not insecure. And being on the defensive automatically makes her go on the defensive.
it makes her think "ok this guy does a good job acting aloof and indiferent, and looks like he doesn't have that much interest in me, but sometimes it seems like its all an act" automatically, the shield goes up.

 

[yep]

Why its important to just be yourself ^^

TBH i have had 3X better success just being myself than practicing 4 years worth of pickup, charecter, nlp, blah blah blah.

I think all that crap is just to get you out there, maybe your game is telling you to start being more of you.