Her AFC "best" friend is in my way

[Capo De Tutti Capi]

So I met this girl a while back, shes great. I think shes possible LTR material...but im starting to think shes a regular Donna Juana, so I'm thinking if i can beat this one at her game (so far so good-I've taken point), then I can call myself a recovering AFC...and believe me, I was pretty bad. I think I'm getting better, thanks to this site.

At first it irked me how she would just blow me off, even after she made it clear to me how bad she wanted me with all our flirt sessions. I knew it from the get go. I'm pretty close to closing in...I applied all the techniques offered to me by my senior upperclassmen (most of you guys) and it worked, but then thru some weird coincidence, one of my girlfriends tells me how shes trying to get with her AFC "best friend" and mentioned how he won't get over-guess who-the name of MY game. Boohoo. She told me how she tried pity dating him (just RECENTLY dumped him...I think I know why, hehe) and then I remember I told her she should awhile back (like I said-recovering AFC, I shoulda' just pounced on her then and there). Well, hes swooning, crying over her, and little does he know that's exactly why she doesn't wanna' be with him! Proclaiming everlasting love, blah, blah, blah...She doesn't wanna' crying lil' boy! She wants a man, a guy who will make her feel like a woman, a guy who won't take her shiet, not a boy who makes her feel like she has more balls than he does. She sent him off, because he forgot who has the balls. He is her doormat. So now I have concluded, it doesn't matter if you wanna' be a Don Juan for life, or just be able to keep your girl(s) in check, or learn some techniques to bag that chick you like. Read this stuff. It helps. For real. Even if your pathetic ass still wants to be an AFC and still bag that girl u like. Look at me. I WAS FOOKING PATHETIC. I MAKE MY CURRENT SELF WANT TO VOMIT. YEAH, IT WAS THAT BAD. I was still one charming sonova'biatch but I made a load of mistakes. But I'm cleaning that up. I see myself in her AFC "best friend" a guy who is a prisoner to the friends zone and I feel bad, but he's gonna' have to learn the hard way like I did. Hopefully he will, but ONE QUESTION? Do I have to worry about this guy? And how do I get him outta' the picture, completely, without her getting all pissed at me...wait a minute, I forgot. I DON'T CARE IF SHE GETS PISSED! WHY WOULD I WORRY ABOUT THAT GUY? HE AIN'T GOT SHIET ON ME! SEE GUYS? I'M LEARNING!

Thanks, let me know what you think~

 

[Vini Vidi Vici]

I think there`s nothing to worry about this guy. But to go on a LTR with a "Donna Juana" is not something I would do. The first thing I would think before entering a LTR is if I can trust her or not.

I know it ain`t fair, because I do flirt with a lot of girls even having a girlfriend. But that`s my way, and it`s my way, or the highway

 

[Capo De Tutti Capi]

i think i can. shes not a harlot. but i can tell she is a big flirt.

 

[MindOverMatter]

If you try to get him out of the picture, she will only try to keep him in the picture to make you jealous and mess with your head.

I've been in a very similar experiance. The girl was a total flirt, attention ho, loved to keep AFC guys around her.

I realized that by keeping all those guys around me, she was letting me know that she had other options and didn't need me. Now if I had started a relationship with her there and then, she would have held all the power in the relationship, and I wouldn't ever go for something like that.

I had to seperate myself from the other guys she had trying to hook up with her. I knew I wasn't an afc like those guys, but it wasn't enough that I knew it. She had to know it.

Here's my 2c.

So she has another guy who's after her, who is ignoring all the other girls and just trying to hook up with her, and her alone.

Your goal is to be different. What do you do?

Don't try to hook up with her, and pursue other girls. Treat her like a friend (the way she treats her AFCs), and let her see you with the other girls. Flirt with her, keep her in your life, but don't focus on her. Treat her like a friend. Talk to her about relationships (make HER YOUR emotional tampon) but don't hook up with her (at least not yet). Let her know these 4 things:

1.) You are not an AFC who is gonna waste all his time waiting on her like the other guys in her life.
2.) You have other options, just like she does.
3.) You have no problems walking away.
4.) When it comes to yourself and your personal happyness, you hold all the power.

Remember, we want that which we can't have. If she thinks she can't have you, she will only want you more, and pursue you with more determination, to the point where she'll forget about the AFC guy and paint him out of the picture herself.

That's when you hook up with her. Enter the relationship with greater, or equal power. Let her know that you are not like the other guys, with actions, not words.

The beauty of this strat is two-fold:

1.) If it doesn't work out, you always have another girl to fall back on
2.) If the don juanna gives you a hard time about pursuing other girls (which she won't), you can say that you didn't think your relationship was that serious, and that she was pursuing other options the same way you were.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Capo De Tutti Capi
i think i can. shes not a harlot. but i can tell she is a big flirt.

Sounds more like a tease/sunshine girl to me than a Donna Juana. Why would you want a relationship with a girl like this?

 

[Capo De Tutti Capi]

what u mean-a donna juana or a tease/sunshine girl? im confused :T uh...shes not a donna juana...but she sure could be one if she wanted to be...anyway. yep.

shes a sunshine girl. thats for sure.