Help with death

[Master Bator]

gf's g-ma died on monday...2 days before her birthday...she's a bit shaken up, her family is kinda messy right now, and i want so bad to comfort her, as AFC as that may sound...but that's what im here for, is to ask how......i've never been good at helping someone deal with death, and i desperately need advice...plz dont give me anything like NEXT her, anything like that...i know how our relationship works, and i just need to be there for her, and get her feeling better...plz help

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Don't try and "Comfort" her. Try to get her laughing, and having fun.

When something like this happens to a girl your seeing, any kind of tragedy, then its best to try and make them feel better than to sit there and empathize all the time.

Ask her out for a night of fun on her birthday, which she will probably try and turn down, and you gotta convince her to get out of the house and have some fun to get her mind off her grandma's death. You do have to empathize with her, but not too much, you gotta be the fun relief.

Mr. Mystery

 

[a denial]

Grief takes a while to get over and people try and get over it in differnt ways.
Try to get her laughing.Get her to focus on the happy memories of her life with her grandma.

 

[thecraftylefty]

Are you people that blind that you follow every "DJ" rule no questions asked? Sure laughter is a good rememdy, but for crying out loud if you want to comfort her then go ahead and comfort her. If she ditches you because you showed that you're a caring guy and can console her when she's feeling down because her grandmother died, then it makes you wonder how long it would have lasted anyways.

"If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

thecraftylefty

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by thecraftylefty
Are you people that blind that you follow every "DJ" rule no questions asked?

This right here is why a lot of the stuff people say is gay. If yall think you should do something thats not 'DJ' then fukkin do it!!!! Dont live your lives the way others suggest it should be lived.

 

[punkrunner]

The worst thing you can say right now is "Im Sorry" It may sound dumb but when my family members died hearing that did nothing but make me feel worse. Right now dont do anything but try to make her laugh and get her mind on other things. DO NOT try and force her to talk about her grandmas death. WHen and if she is ready she will talk to you about it. Just let her know you care about her and want to help her in anyway you can.

 

[USSOCOM]

Don't try to cheer her up, sometimes you have to be a shoulder to lean on and this is one of those times. You have to be the one to keep her stable, you said she's a mess so you have to be the anti-mess. When she's ready to have fun, you have to be the one to make her laugh.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

Whoever that first idiot was that said make her laugh, was wrong. Don't try to make her laugh, let her get through it, this stuff takes time. Just say to her, "I'm here for you when you need me. I've got big strong arms and big broad shoulders to cry on." It really helps if you have both of those.

 

[hardwork]

Ah, the never-ending ability of people to contradict themselves.

Originally posted by Ridingthelightning
Whoever that first idiot was that said make her laugh, was wrong. Don't try to make her laugh, let her get through it, this stuff takes time. Just say to her, "I'm here for you when you need me. I've got big strong arms and big broad shoulders to cry on." It really helps if you have both of those.

Wouldn't the italicized phrase above accomplish a chuckle?

chuckle = half-hearted LAUGH (Right?)

Nice paradox.