"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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[Help] - How to be natural and relaxed around people, especially girls

S

sijas

Don Juan
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Hi, my brother introduced me to the DJ Bible. I just recently started reading these and I have noticed some changes in myself. When my brother started his freshman year, he told me about how he was shy and afraid of people and especially when around girls. Btw my family is Asian just letting you know. Then he surfed the web looking for ways to help and he came upon this site. A year later during his Sophomore year, he was picking up chicks left and right. Now he's 20 years old and in college and has been with his girlfriend for half a year. They didn't go to the same high school just saying. Anyways, she told me how he was known as the "man wh0re" to the entire high school. Now you know about my brother. He comes home to visit every few weeks and during winter break he stayed for a whole 2 weeks including his girlfriend. Well, he had his wisdom teeth pulled and he got prescribed some Vicodin pain pills. He said they would make you feel buzzed so we took 2 pills. Well, it was pretty awesome. I felt like nothing mattered and relaxed. We went bowling and usually I'm self conscious and can never feel relaxed around people. That's what I don't like about myself right now. I think to myself, "these people don't even notice you, stop acting like this." but I always feel the need to act in some way for the people, I don't know why. It feels like I have to keep acting that way and always stay tense. But when I took the pills and went bowling, I found that I could act natural and feel relaxed. I could look around the room not caring if other people looked back, and I wouldn't care if I did something wrong or made a mistake. After the effects of the pill wore off, it was back to my old self, the person inside me that I want to get rid of. Now that you (hopefully) kinda know how I am, I would be grateful if some of you DJers or people that don't give a fvck about what they do in public could help me out on how to achieve that without any drugs. Sorry if some parts are unclear and thanks for actually reading this far. I really do appreciate any help. If you have any questions to clear something up, please post it.

Thanks
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I

In10se

Don Juan
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Definitely don't become reliant on any substances, because that is a road you don't want to travel down.

As far as being more relaxed in public I think its a matter of going out more, and pushing yourself to cold approach. You can also workout/take up martial arts. Hobbies and social experience are confidence builders. However posting on this website once or a thousand times will not improve your inner confidence /inner game. You have one life to live, so you might as well take some risks and see what the world has to offer.
 
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