Help! AFC here

[Bo Don Juan]

Hey guys, I have been reading this forum for the past couple days. Lots of great info here. I need help. I have been an AFC my entire life. My freshman year in college, i met "the one". Every thing was great and we spent all our time together. I was her first and she was my first. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. I cared for her so much. She always told me she would not know what to do with herself if she lost me. A couple weeks ago, after her carribean cruise with her parents, she came over to my place and dropped the bomb. She said we have personality issues that she "doesnt think we can overcome." She wants to stay friends. I did all the things you are not supposed to do. I cried and professed my love for her. I wrote 12 pages worth of love letters to her to express my love. During our relationship, I did not treat her well. I did not respect her and I withheld sex from her even though she begged for it. We had sex over 100 times and she still couldnt get enough. I loved it too yet I believed that by resisting her, i could make her want me more. I struggled communicating with her. I would say things that would hurt her even though they were completely untrue. Instead, I tried to be somebody that I was not in an attempt to keep her. This ended up having a negative result in which she broke up with me. After she read my letter, she let me know she was going to think about it. I told her that is all i could ask for. She called me a few days later telling me she just doesnt think she can do it anymore. My heart sank. I went no contact a few days later for 8 days. On the 8th day, I texted her apoligizing for my actions after the breakup saying that it was immature and childish. She responded saying that there is nothing to forgive and she understands that this is hard to deal with. I later asked her if she wanted to hangout. She said she was not ready yet and she hopes she will eventually be ready. I am going NC again because obviously i am not over her. I need some help on my situation and as common as my situation may seem, a little specific advice could really help me. Thanks.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Sorry to hear it man. Your options are very limited right now. You've shown your hand already.

NC is a must, plus you must hit the gym, work on yourself, and get out an socialize no matter how hard it is to do it.

I'm sorry to say this one is almost certainly unrecoverable. It sounds like you were overly manipulative in the relationship. She talked it all out with her parents while on vacation, and they turned her against you.

You're too young to be so hooked on one person, especially in this day & age. Go out there and work on yourself and "spin plates" as they say here.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with Atom. Something definitely went down while she was on vaycay. Something always happens when chicks come back from vacation, doesn't it? You have no choice but to go ghost and let the dust settle. Be extra cautious if things reignite for they may fizzle out soon and you'll go through 2 dumpings in a very short time.

Good luck.

 

[zinc4]

Well, good news is you can learn from this and never be manipulative again....no one likes manipulative behavior, especially in a relationship...you need to control your insecurities next time...sorry to hear about it, but looks like NC is the only way to go on this and move on and meet other people....

 

[Bo Don Juan]

Thanks guys. As hard as it is to believe, I kinda realize it is over. I plan on applying what I have learned here to see how it works out. Im pretty confident it will all work out.

 

[JohnChops]

Real sorry to hear about this man. I hate hearing stories like this but all that means for you is to start a new chapter in your life without her. Hit the gym, new hobbies, work on yourself and become a better man to attain a better life; the other girls will come as a byproduct.

Read the DJBible, this is a must since you are just starting out. The uplifting material section will make you feel just a bit better