"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hello

Greengrass

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Just wanted to introduce myself. Pardon the clutter, but i wanted to say ive been reading here for a while and the majority of you seem respectable and mature, and im happy to have joined.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Greengrass

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My Name is Nobody said:
Wish I had some green grass to smoke right about now.
Oddly enough, that wasnt the intention my my name, but since you pointed it out.....
 
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Greengrass said:
Oddly enough, that wasnt the intention my my name, but since you pointed it out.....

Since I pointed it out what? You are going to fax me a blunt?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Greengrass

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My Name is Nobody said:
Since I pointed it out what? You are going to fax me a blunt?
i have a JOINT YOU CAN SMOKE LAY DOWN THE TOWEL SO YOUR KNEES DONT GET SORE.
 
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Greengrass said:
Im not gay you came onto me. You homo!
Great, another high school kid. do us a favor and go to the high school forum you are ruining the site.

Thanks.

MNIN
 
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