... Hb5 Problems (Part 2)

[European-DJ]

Hello Fellow Don Juans,

In my last topic, i spoke about my dilemma of having to choose between a HOT looking Hb9, and a shining personality hb5.

A great topic rised under the other title, was how to game "regular/normal" chichs vs. "Shallow" chicks,

which leads me to the following question, how should i approach a text like this from the HB5:

"Hi European-DJ... I have though alot about things, and it would be wrong to meet, we both know more things will happen, than there should :/"


- Towards a Shallow Hb9, i would be like "I respect your decision" or something like that.

But towards the HB5 i am wondering how i should answer, i could be pursuing her and letting her know that "I would be sorry to hear that we should not meet up, but on the other hand, i wouldn't garantee that nothing would happen - i am attracted to you" or something like that.


What would your approach be?

Much appreciated,

//European-dj

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm not even going to read your post. Why the hell are you even dealing with a HB5. You need to get your standards up. A girl is going to mirror you. So if your messing with a HB5 what does that say about you?

 

[VladPatton]

Meet up anyways. What they say and what they do is worlds apart. If she mentions it again, it may very well be a sign of disinterest tell you to leave her alone. Use the 2 strike rule here as well.

Besides being an HB5 she has all these pre-notions of what may happen, huh?...unreal!

 

[floydb25]

She might just be too pure, or extremely insecure and inexperienced, OR immature. I say that last part because thats how a lot of flakey, insecure, indecisive, game-playing girls act. I dont know her. And question if you do, as well as you think. Or if youre not just idolizing her public performance - without knowing what shes really like in private.

Either way, youre on the way to pedestalizing her, and getting caught up in the challenge of figuring her out - because you dont have her. This is exactly how you get caught up in the chase and develop one-itis. Then end up being the *****.

I kind of wonder if she's as great as you claim based on these remarks. I knew a lot of seemingly sweet and pure girls who turned out to be huge players, manipulators, and game-playing ****teases who couldnt make up their mind about anything. But in public, they were so sweet and pure and innocent.

I'd be cautious on if she's playing games. If she was direct and honest, she wouldnt be leaving you guessing like this. Theres certainly mixed messages at play here. Its like shes leaving room for potential, but holding back. Bad sign. Dont ASSUME shes so different and wonderful, and not playing games, or trying to get you to chase her and prove your worth. Dont start acting like a nice guy chump, or treating her like a special cookie - because of your PERCEPTION of her.

In the end, youre confused, dont know what to do, how to act, what she wants, if youre making any progress, why shes acting this way, why she keeps pulling back, etc etc. All bad. Youre on your way to making it all about her. Whether its intentional, she has all the power. Dont assume she wont use that against you if you enable it. So, dont. And dont get caught up in this over-complicated mess. It shouldnt be this hard with a "genuine" woman. It would actually be very easy. Honest, straightforward communication and respect. No games, mixed messages... None of that. Nor is it this hard if someone is really into you.

Maybe thats why you like her - because shes difficult, confusing, and hard to figure out. Those are suspicious traits. Dont focus on her personality, but on her dating etiquette. How she acts when it comes to dating. In private. Not just, "oh, shes so nice; everyone loves her". Nobody is that pure or perfect.

Dont assume shes all these wonderful things; making sure youre not a player, testing to see how genuine you are, could never hurt a fly, etc etc. Never assume, or fall in love with a vision. Thats how you get you played. And we ALL fell for a seemingly nice girl - only to be caught flat-footed.

This may not be the case at all, on any level... I could be way off. But, dont assume it isnt. Never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, or trust them fully - until they PROVE to be genuine and decent in the dating / romantic sense. Otherwise youre asking for trouble.

 

[floydb25]

Just to add, based on your previous response: Dont get too ahead of yourself, and start acting like a relationship-minded nice guy too soon. You still want to add present a challenge, build the attraction, and things like that. A lot of guys fail because they move too fast, and try to jump right into the relationship phase - thinking its what the woman wants. You must still have standards, qualify them, and all that good stuff. Dont think, you want a relationship, she seems like relationship material, so youre going to bypass the dating / attraction phase, and enter relationship mode right away - because this is the ONE!!!1!! Keep the game where its supposed to be. Dont rush, chase, prove yourself, become super available, make her your world, etc. But at the same time, IF she proves to be a genuine good girl, dont play games, act like a player, mess with her head, and other things shallow / dumb / immature *****es respond to.

Everyone likes a challenge, a person with standards, etc. Just dont go overboard, and act like a jackass douche bag.

 

[Purefilth]

I'm not even going to read your post. Why the hell are you even dealing with a HB5. You need to get your standards up. A girl is going to mirror you. So if your messing with a HB5 what does that say about you?

He wants an LTR, and this 5 has the personality of 10/10 according to his other thread, so allow the man to pick the girl he wants based in something more than looks.

There's no need to be so shallow.

 

[flashpoint]

"well whatever happens i am not going to hurt you. that for i like you too much." - if you really want to go there of course ...

 

[European-DJ]

PrettyboyAJ:
I have had my share of 9's and 10's, and I am a bit bored of shallow, meaningless one night stands - that is why I am going for this girl, because her personality is gold. Btw. She is not a 5, exaggeration sometimes enchances the point.

Floydb25:
This is an great answer, I have known her for 6 months before we stopped talking the first time - everybody around her, herself, and even her ex boyfriend (who is in a commit relationship) with her best friend says the same - she is awesome.
But as you said, I should not be fooled, this might be all very well be a facade, perhaps the reason is that she is dating someone else? Perhaps I have been a little to nice, and not enough douchebag (as I usualuay am).

At the current moment there is no doubt, this is the girl I want - but it might as well be for the purpose of banging her - she has been the only one rejecting me in such an annoying way, the rest wouldn't have the mental strength to stop it at that point.
- she is not my world, nor is she my first priority, but man I would like to have her!

I will bring an update within the following week.