Guys, I need help, advice, suggestions

[cordoncordon]

I'm in sort of a dilemna, and I really have no idea what to do or what I'm going to do.

I'm 35, live with my girlfriend in a condo she owns in michigan, I pay rent and half of everything. I daytrade stocks, make 6 figures, work right out of the office in our condo.

The problem is this, I love my girlfriend to death, and even though I know some of you are against it, would be honored to marry her. I would have already proposed if not for this>>she was cut from her job last spring, and just recently was offered a high 6 figure job with all kinds of perks, in a field she loves, WORKING IN CALIFORNIA! She of course wants us to get married and move out there with her. Problem is i grew up here in Michigan, have lived here my entire life, all my friends and family, including my twin bro and cousin who I am very close to, live here. I have never saw myself as a California type of guy, and being that far from my home base is just really scary to me.

My job I could do anywhere there's a computer, so thats not the problem. Its moving so far away. I know Im a grown man and need to start my own family, but at the same time I REALLY like it where I live.

We've talked about maybe keeping the condo, I'd live in Michigan some of the time and Cali some of the time, then if she doesnt like her job in Cali after a year or two we can always move back here. But honestly, I have no idea what to do.

Any ideas or advice some of you could give would be great.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Congratulations on making it as a trader. That is no small accomplishment. Would the 6:30am-2 schedule be a problem, since you would have to get up earlier? Would the stress of a new environment hurt your trading? Maybe being without her would hurt it more?

How long have you and the gf been together? She is about the same age as you, right?

 

[penkitten]

does she know that you dont want to move ?

 

[PowertripII]

We really don't need any more people out here, please stay!

Problem is i grew up here in Michigan, have lived here my entire life, all my friends and family, including my twin bro and cousin who I am very close to, live here.

In all seriousness, don't you think it might be time for a change of pace? You're in the lucky position that you can go anywhere but you're fighting it tooth and nail. Skip the marriage part and take a chance.. people have been known to change radically after being here for a few months- not always for the better.

And BTW I'm a local.

 

[gengx2]

To be honest with you, I think you should move. You're still pretty young and even though you've lived there all you life, it will always be there welcoming you when you get back. It's hard leaving what you're comfortable to but just think of the ADVENTURE of living somewhere you're not used to. Great chance to show that you can do anything!

Every new experience is an adventure and that's what life should be!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hmmm, as a So. Cal. native I can't see the appeal of Michigan (particularly in the winter). Life is an adventure man. I recently relocated from Reno, NV to Orlando, FL for a job relocation. I left my Mom, Dad, Brother, niece, nephew, friends, to initiate a change. I miss 'em for sure, but I wanted to come out here. My wife left a great job in Reno too, but she's got another one in her field fairly easily. It's tough to consider leaving the harbor where it's safe, but that's not what ships were meant to do. Get out of your comfort zone and grow as a person.

 

[Un-Aru]

Get out there and experience all the world has to offer. It's a great test of your ability to adapt and survive and will give you a new perspective on life as well as renewed confidence in yourself.

I left behind everyone I ever cared about to start a new life in a different country - best move ever. And think of it this way, it's not exactly difficult to move back home again.

ps. Don't you think your bro and cousin would love to have a place to crash in Cali?

 

[Desdinova]

I'm going to take the other side of the coin because I know where you're coming from. Moving is a pain in the ass, and I don't intend on doing it again anytime soon again.

One of the most important things in a marriage is being able to have a common view of your future goals, where you want to live, what you want to live in, having children, how to raise children, etc. If the both of you don't have identical plans on these subjects, you're not very compatible and the relationship isn't going to get better, but get worse. The both of you will be stuck in a rut of indecision and go absolutely nowhere with your lives.

Either you have to decide to move with her, or she has to decide to stay in your current location. If you can't decide on where to live together, then perhaps it may be time to move on with each others' lives.

 

[Latinoman]

If you marry her...then SHE and your kids will become YOUR family.

I think that I grew up considerably as a man when I moved out of my home environment (barrio, etc.) over 18 years ago.

At the time it was very hard...but I have no regrets. Life has been great!

I would not marry if I was you...not yet. I would probably do the move first...and then see if I'm willing to compromise. If you can't compromise...then I'm sure you can find a local woman to marry you.

However, finding a special one? Heck, I move to California if it comes down to that! (especially if both are making 6 figures).