guys dancing with your girl

[pyros]

Hello,

I started to dance salsa (and other latin dances) like two years ago,
last weekend I went to a latin party and there were some friends of mine that are in a relationship that danced with several girls (girl friends) while their girlfriends did the same with some guy friends. Some of this dances are pretty sensual/sexual so eventhough I know it does not mean a thing if you dance with a girl, I would not like to see my girlfriend doing it. I would not like to see my girlfriend dancing bachata with another guy for example. I would not mind if she danced salsa because it is not so sensual...but not bachata and other stuff.
It is not that I think she will like the guy or that it means the prelude to cheating (I can dance really sensual with my girl friends and I feel nothing sexual, its just social dancing). I would find it just disrespectul towards me if she did it, but it seems ppl in this scene do not mind it so much.

So how would you handle this? would you just say to your gf that you do not like it if some other guy dances in a sexual with her? (some couples do, they just dance with each other).
I just would not like to see a guy dancing with my girl this way. It is just disrespectful towards me.

What do you think?

P.S.
I have some boundaries that I'd like to set from the outset.

 

[TheException]

It is not that I think she will like the guy or that it means the prelude to cheating (I can dance really sensual with my girl friends and I feel nothing sexual, its just social dancing). I would find it just disrespectul towards me if she did it, but it seems ppl in this scene do not mind it so much.

Tough situation. Latin dances are highly sexual and can definitely be compared to "grinding" here in the states. A simple youtube search of "bachata" and I can tell you I would not like to see my girlfriend doing that with another guy.

So how would you handle this? would you just say to your gf that you do not like it if some other guy dances in a sexual with her? (some couples do, they just dance with each other).
I just would not like to see a guy dancing with my girl this way. It is just disrespectful towards me.

Here in lies the problem....often times guys think they have to tell their girlfriend "not to do it" and everything will be A OK. In reality...its the exact opposite. Best case scenario she gives you a little gruff like "its just dance" and then will respect your demand. Worst case scenario she gets mad, calls you insecure, and dances anyways. It shouldnt be a matter of having to "tell her" not to do it.....SHE SHOULD LEGITIMATELY NOT WANT TO DANCE WITH OTHER GUYS. I know for a fact my girlfriend is not comfortable with either of us dancing(grinding) with members of the opposite sex and has said so. It would concern me if she was all gun hoe about me grinding on every girl I see at the bar while she goes into a dark corner and gets dry humped herself.

But....that is not your scenario. If your girlfriend is actively seeking latin dance partners other than yourself....I would treat it like a jealously sh1t test. I would immediately go up to other women and do the bachata with THEM and just enjoy myself. If you find yourself incapable of doing that and finding yourself swamped in jealousy(yes jealousy even though you masked it as "disrespect" earlier)...id break up with her, because its not a matter of actions that you just tell her to stop doing...its her mindset. That fact she feels she can dance erotically with other guys can not be "fixed" by just speaking to her.

I have some boundaries that I'd like to set from the outset.

They have to be. My girlfriend and I discussed what we each considered "inappropriate behavior" at the beginning of the relationship so each knows where the standards are.....helps to avoid problems like the one above later down the line.

 

[PackDaddy]

Hey OP, plain and simple. You're a man. You should be territorial. I am at least. Not jealous territorial, but out of respect for yourself. A girlfriend shouldn't dance with other men period. I don't care what any progressive fagg0ts say in the contrary. As human beings, we are evolved animals. So look at the animals. The male is always territorial; the lion guards his pride. In the animal kingdom, dancing is always a form of courtship; a precursor to mating. Dancing is always a sexual activity. Don't emotionally get bent out of shape because you're sad you're partner is dancing with someone else. Be mad out of a reverance for yourself. Because another dog just ate from your food bowl. This takes the "alpha" mentality to grasp. Furthermore, a woman won't do this if you're alpha from day one. Since it already happened, you can either: (A) get emotional, or (B) drop her since she doesn't know how to respect a man, you still need time to fully embrace your manhood, and or she wants a beta male. Take time to reflect on this and see how you can learn and grow.

 

[pyros]

its always funny to read two different perspectives here on sosuave regarding this kind of topics.
On the right hand you have ppl that say that if you're alpha, you should let her do whatever she wants. But on the left hand you have some other ppl saying that you should set boundaries if you're alpha. Weird at least.

Anyway, since I do not like this behaviour, should I just tell her: "hey listen, I do not mind if you dance salsa with a guy from time to time, but since we're in a relationship, I just do not like to see you dancing other stuff like bachata with guy friends or strangers, period. If you understand it thats fine, if you do not, I think we're not that compatible to be in committed relationship." Then downgrade her to FB.

 

[pinkfl]

Some of this dances are pretty sensual/sexual so eventhough I know it does not mean a thing if you dance with a girl, I would not like to see my girlfriend doing it. I would not like to see my girlfriend dancing bachata with another guy for example.

(I can dance really sensual with my girl friends and I feel nothing sexual, its just social dancing).

Here's where you are contradicting yourself. If it didn't mean anything, and it was just social dancing, you wouldn't have a problem with it. But since you're specifying that bachata is something more sensual, then hear me out.

I'm a social dancer myself (swing and blues) and my boyfriend and I are fine with dancing blues with other partners. But we do have specific rules about blues parties. In general, in the social dance scene, dances are still pretty tame, but the house parties are where things get really raunchy. That's where we draw our lines for what is appropriate for close embrace/body rolls/etc.

So that's what you need to do. Explain what you are comfortable with, and open the floor for asking her what she is comfortable with, and communicate.