Maximus Rex
Banned
This is from the Mystery Method Newsletter. Enjoy. WARNING LONG READ!!!!
A2: Attraction is often called "Female to Male Interest". This the stage in which we make women interested in us. We create attraction. Read those last sentences again. We MAKE women interested in us. We CREATE attraction. This is a fundamental difference between the Mystery Method and other techniques. We were not, and are not, satisfied with JUST improving our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is interested in us -- although this is important and we will discuss it below.
More importantly, one of our breakthroughs is in how we learned how to take a woman who starts off emotionally neutral towards us, and, relying on what we've learned of female behavior, flip the right emotional switches so that she becomes interested/attracted.
So how do you start A2? Simple. You jump straight into A2 as soon as you spot an opportunity from A1 (the opener). You don't even need to finish your opener in A1. For example, you might have approached a group and asked for an opinion on something (e.g., my friend over there, she wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?). There's no value to you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So as soon as you can, you'll want to say something like "hey, that reminds me . . ." and jump into a piece of A2 material. A2 material can be story, a specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other technique to build attraction. We discuss these more below.
Guys who are new to the Mystery Method often question how we can jump between unrelated pieces of material. If you approach a group of people asking about your friend's hair, and then start telling them about something that happened to you earlier that day, you may feel it strange or awkward. Trust us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people -- especially women -- don't care if there is little obvious relationship between different conversational threads, as long as they are entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will be grouped into certain subjects, but these subjects are rarely related. So after a couple of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she will tell a couple about some movie star. They're not connected, but we don't notice or care. We're entertained and interested. If you feel shy doing this at first, you can slip in a meaningless connector like "that reminds me . . ." or "that's just like when . . .". However, in time, you'll realize that these are unnecessary.
To recap: the moment you change the subject from your opener to something new, you are in A2. Now your job is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are interested.
Two key building blocks for this are Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) and Negs. A DHV is simply a demonstration that you are "better than the other guys". You have a higher value than they do. Most men instinctively understand this. That's why they try to work out, dress nicely, have money, achieve social status, etc. Some men also try to put other men down, so that they look better by comparison.
While this stuff helps (the improving yourself part -- putting down other guys has its place but it's for a very specific situation and we'll cover that later), it's ultimately a limited strategy. First, there will always be someone better looking, better dressed, richer, and more successful than you. Second, the most desirable women out there already have tons of guys in their lives who are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed, rich, and successful to get their interest. It will take more than that to win them over.
So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have a higher value. How do we do this?
Storytelling is a crucial tool in your arsenal. You MUST learn how to entertain and keep a group's interest in a story that you tell. Good storytelling is necessary for effective sub-communication (which we describe below), and is prized as a valuable social skill in itself. Plan and practice your stories.
Learn how to have a good hook line (e.g., "hey, did you see that fight outside?")
Learn how to leave open threads for your audience to ask about (e.g., "I was in Japan last week and all over Tokyo there are these machines that look like they sell soft drinks, but it's actually like 50 flavors of milk. And you don't put coins in, you use your cell phone to dial a drink") . . . the open thread here of course is "what were you doing in Japan?"
Learn how to seek input for your stories in a safe way that doesn't risk derailing where you're going with the story. For example, if you are telling a story about your nephew, you might start with "My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the funniest thing this morning. You like kids right? [Wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well, anyway, so here's what happened . . ."
LIVE the story. This is most important principle of storytelling. If you are telling a story about a friend's party, you have to see, hear, feel, smell, taste everything that you're talking about. Express emotion. Be interested in what you're talking about, or there is no chance that anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a journey with you through the story.
Sub-communication is the crucial art of communicating something about yourself without appearing to be trying to communicate it. This doesn't have to be verbal. Not showing signs of interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have and have had beautiful women in your life and that her beauty does not phase you. Or it can be verbal, often combined with storytelling. Here's an example of part of a longer story -- which I exaggerated for effect:
"My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the airport tonight, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Maserati all of a sudden. It was too funny -- I tried to pretend that I didn't notice, and then like 100 yards outside the airport, we get pulled over. She didn't tell me until afterwards that they'd just given her the car for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came on, I was totally wondering what was up. Finally, I whispered to her: "Karen, if in the last three days you'd become a drug baron and were on the FBI hit list, you'd tell me right?" Anyway, even when it turns out we just had a broken headlight, . . . Etc., etc., [continue on in any direction from here for a punch line]"
In just a few sentences as part of story, we learn all sorts of things about the narrator. Most of these things, if he said them directly, would come off as bragging and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they RAISE his value. Here's a quick list of some things that got communicated:
He has an ex-girlfriend. He's not a total loser.
He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would pick him up at the airport.
He has a lifestyle where he travels (he's coming from the airport).
His ex-girlfriend has an Audi. This doesn't necessarily give her a ton of value, but it gives her a little bit. Which gives you a bit of value by implication.
His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be attractive.
His ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they'd give her a Maserati for the day as part of it. She must be very attractive.
The key to sub-communication is to make it subtle. A useful pattern is to be talking about something OTHER than what you are trying to sub-communicate. For example, in the story above, the purpose of the sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to desirable women. However, the story itself is about getting pulled over by the police.
Use common sense and err on the side of too much subtlety, not too little. Don't be the guy who says "So I was at my accountant's office today, trying to figure out how much taxes I owe on the $50 million I earned last year, when he spilled orange juice on the rug. Did you know orange juice stains don't come out?". Stay far, far away from this. People will recognize that a story about orange juice stains did not require the details you included about how much money you make.
Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The following things, if sub-communicated effectively, tend to be attractive to most women:
Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
Wealth
Power
Social status (especially being the leader of men)
Some unpredictability
In control, not controlling
Intrigue/curiosity/unanswered questions about you
Being the protector of your loved ones
Interactive DHVs
An interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher value through something you are doing then and there. For example, making people laugh, telling them something interesting, teaching them something, being a good dancer, or doing anything that shows that you are a cool guy, is in itself a DHV.
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Negs
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The Neg is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor for her. For example, if you say to a woman "Nice nails; are they real?" she will be forced to admit to you that they're not (obviously, don't use this one on a woman with real nails). Done correctly, this will momentarily embarrass her but in a way that doesn't make you appear to be socially awkward. You really WERE trying to compliment her. It's HER fault that she has imperfections, and that you just happened to address one of them. Obviously, one neg by itself will not lead to a relationship, but a well-calibrated neg in the context of a solid application of the Mystery Method can get you there.
A2: Attraction is often called "Female to Male Interest". This the stage in which we make women interested in us. We create attraction. Read those last sentences again. We MAKE women interested in us. We CREATE attraction. This is a fundamental difference between the Mystery Method and other techniques. We were not, and are not, satisfied with JUST improving our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is interested in us -- although this is important and we will discuss it below.
More importantly, one of our breakthroughs is in how we learned how to take a woman who starts off emotionally neutral towards us, and, relying on what we've learned of female behavior, flip the right emotional switches so that she becomes interested/attracted.
So how do you start A2? Simple. You jump straight into A2 as soon as you spot an opportunity from A1 (the opener). You don't even need to finish your opener in A1. For example, you might have approached a group and asked for an opinion on something (e.g., my friend over there, she wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?). There's no value to you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So as soon as you can, you'll want to say something like "hey, that reminds me . . ." and jump into a piece of A2 material. A2 material can be story, a specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other technique to build attraction. We discuss these more below.
Guys who are new to the Mystery Method often question how we can jump between unrelated pieces of material. If you approach a group of people asking about your friend's hair, and then start telling them about something that happened to you earlier that day, you may feel it strange or awkward. Trust us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people -- especially women -- don't care if there is little obvious relationship between different conversational threads, as long as they are entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will be grouped into certain subjects, but these subjects are rarely related. So after a couple of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she will tell a couple about some movie star. They're not connected, but we don't notice or care. We're entertained and interested. If you feel shy doing this at first, you can slip in a meaningless connector like "that reminds me . . ." or "that's just like when . . .". However, in time, you'll realize that these are unnecessary.
To recap: the moment you change the subject from your opener to something new, you are in A2. Now your job is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are interested.
Two key building blocks for this are Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) and Negs. A DHV is simply a demonstration that you are "better than the other guys". You have a higher value than they do. Most men instinctively understand this. That's why they try to work out, dress nicely, have money, achieve social status, etc. Some men also try to put other men down, so that they look better by comparison.
While this stuff helps (the improving yourself part -- putting down other guys has its place but it's for a very specific situation and we'll cover that later), it's ultimately a limited strategy. First, there will always be someone better looking, better dressed, richer, and more successful than you. Second, the most desirable women out there already have tons of guys in their lives who are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed, rich, and successful to get their interest. It will take more than that to win them over.
So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have a higher value. How do we do this?
Storytelling is a crucial tool in your arsenal. You MUST learn how to entertain and keep a group's interest in a story that you tell. Good storytelling is necessary for effective sub-communication (which we describe below), and is prized as a valuable social skill in itself. Plan and practice your stories.
Learn how to have a good hook line (e.g., "hey, did you see that fight outside?")
Learn how to leave open threads for your audience to ask about (e.g., "I was in Japan last week and all over Tokyo there are these machines that look like they sell soft drinks, but it's actually like 50 flavors of milk. And you don't put coins in, you use your cell phone to dial a drink") . . . the open thread here of course is "what were you doing in Japan?"
Learn how to seek input for your stories in a safe way that doesn't risk derailing where you're going with the story. For example, if you are telling a story about your nephew, you might start with "My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the funniest thing this morning. You like kids right? [Wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well, anyway, so here's what happened . . ."
LIVE the story. This is most important principle of storytelling. If you are telling a story about a friend's party, you have to see, hear, feel, smell, taste everything that you're talking about. Express emotion. Be interested in what you're talking about, or there is no chance that anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a journey with you through the story.
Sub-communication is the crucial art of communicating something about yourself without appearing to be trying to communicate it. This doesn't have to be verbal. Not showing signs of interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have and have had beautiful women in your life and that her beauty does not phase you. Or it can be verbal, often combined with storytelling. Here's an example of part of a longer story -- which I exaggerated for effect:
"My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the airport tonight, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Maserati all of a sudden. It was too funny -- I tried to pretend that I didn't notice, and then like 100 yards outside the airport, we get pulled over. She didn't tell me until afterwards that they'd just given her the car for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came on, I was totally wondering what was up. Finally, I whispered to her: "Karen, if in the last three days you'd become a drug baron and were on the FBI hit list, you'd tell me right?" Anyway, even when it turns out we just had a broken headlight, . . . Etc., etc., [continue on in any direction from here for a punch line]"
In just a few sentences as part of story, we learn all sorts of things about the narrator. Most of these things, if he said them directly, would come off as bragging and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they RAISE his value. Here's a quick list of some things that got communicated:
He has an ex-girlfriend. He's not a total loser.
He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would pick him up at the airport.
He has a lifestyle where he travels (he's coming from the airport).
His ex-girlfriend has an Audi. This doesn't necessarily give her a ton of value, but it gives her a little bit. Which gives you a bit of value by implication.
His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be attractive.
His ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they'd give her a Maserati for the day as part of it. She must be very attractive.
The key to sub-communication is to make it subtle. A useful pattern is to be talking about something OTHER than what you are trying to sub-communicate. For example, in the story above, the purpose of the sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to desirable women. However, the story itself is about getting pulled over by the police.
Use common sense and err on the side of too much subtlety, not too little. Don't be the guy who says "So I was at my accountant's office today, trying to figure out how much taxes I owe on the $50 million I earned last year, when he spilled orange juice on the rug. Did you know orange juice stains don't come out?". Stay far, far away from this. People will recognize that a story about orange juice stains did not require the details you included about how much money you make.
Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The following things, if sub-communicated effectively, tend to be attractive to most women:
Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
Wealth
Power
Social status (especially being the leader of men)
Some unpredictability
In control, not controlling
Intrigue/curiosity/unanswered questions about you
Being the protector of your loved ones
Interactive DHVs
An interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher value through something you are doing then and there. For example, making people laugh, telling them something interesting, teaching them something, being a good dancer, or doing anything that shows that you are a cool guy, is in itself a DHV.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Negs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Neg is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor for her. For example, if you say to a woman "Nice nails; are they real?" she will be forced to admit to you that they're not (obviously, don't use this one on a woman with real nails). Done correctly, this will momentarily embarrass her but in a way that doesn't make you appear to be socially awkward. You really WERE trying to compliment her. It's HER fault that she has imperfections, and that you just happened to address one of them. Obviously, one neg by itself will not lead to a relationship, but a well-calibrated neg in the context of a solid application of the Mystery Method can get you there.