Got the #...some questions

[jcb1772]

Today I made my first ever attempt to get a girl's phone #...and succeeded. She seemed happy to give her cell # to me and it was pretty funny watching her searching for a piece of paper to write it on (I then gave her some I had in my pocket in case that happened lol). But anyways...we're both freshmen, and both inexperienced and generally shy. We're already kind of acquaintences from working together on school work in the past, so no...she's definately not just a stranger.

Well, my plan is to call her tomorrow or Sunday night (haven't decided). I already have topics and questions preplanned so I'm not worried about the convo. But I do have a few small concerns.

Is it best to call from my home phone or cell? I'm not real sure which of the 2, if any, would come up as "private caller". But I'd get better reception with the home phone.

Should I leave a message the first time I call if her voice message comes up? If so, do I tell her I'll call her back or what? If I don't leave the message, I don't think I want to take the chance of calling her over and over if she can track who keeps calling her (desperation...a no-no).

Finally, I don't really need to ask her out on the first phone convo right? I just want to have some friendly, light, convo with her while at the same time getting to know her...something I haven't really had yet. In my case (maybe age goes with this too), I feel more comfortable waiting to ask her out in person some number of days after talking with her on the phone. But I could be wrong.

Any help appreciated, thanks. BTW this is the girl I wanted to dance with so bad that one time who, unfortunately, never showed up to the school dance...so yeah you can imagine I'm pretty happy right now.

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

call her sunday night. better chance she'll be available.

call from your cell so if she calls back you'll know it's her.

if you insist on leaving a message, say "hey michelle. this is tom. call me back at exactly 9:27 tonight." if she calls back at anytime other than 9:27, give her grief for it.

call her to confirm or set up dates, not to chat.

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

uhmmm.... dude

instead of answering all these questions, im going to answer them all with one statement, which will sum up everything quite nicely.

STOP CARING!!!

look, things are never going to work out with this girl if you have to plan a) what your going to talk about and b) how / with what your going to call her.

use the info on this site (mainly the bible) to learn how you can be the man of every girls dreams

good luck man

ps if you haven't already, DO THE BOOTCAMP!! its the best way to learn this stuff

 

[jcb1772]

Thanks for the advice. But the thing about waiting Sunday night didn't apply because I knew where she was/is tonight, what I didn't know is if she'd have her cell phone with her at the time.

So I called her tonight once on my home phone...no answer, hung up. Then 45 mins later I called her again on my cell phone...again, no answer, but this time I left a message saying real casually I'd call her back later, but didn't say when (polite thing to do...since it's her cell she'd be able to track who's called).

So now that I've left a message, and the power still in my hands...should I really call her back tomorrow night? Would that seem too desperate? The alternative would be to not call her, then just go up to her at school on Monday and just talk it out.

 

[TheCalmGuy]

You already seem toooo... desperate and needy to me. You called her 2-3 times and left her a message, you should try and read the bible, if I get a number I will not phone call until after 3-4 days and if she doesn't answer she will get the missed call no need to call another 15 times and leave her other 20 messages. You already called her twice left her a message now its all up to her, if she doesn't reply go get another number

 

[jcb1772]

Originally posted by TheCalmGuy
You already seem toooo... desperate and needy to me. You called her 2-3 times and left her a message, you should try and read the bible, if I get a number I will not phone call until after 3-4 days and if she doesn't answer she will get the missed call no need to call another 15 times and leave her other 20 messages. You already called her twice left her a message now its all up to her, if she doesn't reply go get another number

Yeah...I guess I won't call tonight then, at the risk of making myself even more desperate. Now I'm just trying to figure out how I can still make things work by talking to her about it at school tomorrow. For the sake of simplicity and my confidence, I'm going to assume she's interested. Soo...maybe a cool casual "hey __, tried to call you over the weekend, maybe we can still get together at __..." or something like that. Or just make small friendly talk like I would have started out with on the phone? Egh, I dunno.

But either way I'll next her if she acts uninterested on Monday.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

jcb1772,

First off, good job. You already completed the toughest task.

Is it best to call from my home phone or cell? I'm not real sure which of the 2, if any, would come up as "private caller". But I'd get better reception with the home phone.

Then do it with the home phone.....

Really, it doesn't matter.

Should I leave a message the first time I call if her voice message comes up? If so, do I tell her I'll call her back or what? If I don't leave the message, I don't think I want to take the chance of calling her over and over if she can track who keeps calling her (desperation...a no-no).

"Leave a message after the beep"
*BEEP*
"Hey, this is ________. Call me back when you get this message. My number is _______. Later"

Something to that affect. Don't sweat it.

Finally, I don't really need to ask her out on the first phone convo right? I just want to have some friendly, light, convo with her while at the same time getting to know her...something I haven't really had yet. In my case (maybe age goes with this too), I feel more comfortable waiting to ask her out in person some number of days after talking with her on the phone. But I could be wrong.

Phone convos should be under three minutes. Save your "getting to know her" stuff for the date; THAT will make excellent convo later. You only call her to set something up. If you call her, setup a date, and she still wants to talk, just politely excuse yourself.....you're not a freakin' book.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.

 

[jcb1772]

Thanks for the advice idiotboyfriend.

Ok so today I went up to her casually and said "hey, I tried to call you this weekend..." and she actually apologized, said something like "yeah sorry I was out of town blah blah". Then I said it was no big deal and asked her where she went, she gave a pretty elaborative response in which I followed up with a another question, then we just slowly split. All in all not a bad conversation, except she seemed more...uneasy. Not the happy excited girl like she was when I asked for the number. Hmmm.

Anyways, the only way I can really keep this from getting stagnant is to try to call her again every once in a while. She already knows I'm interested so as long as I don't overdo it, why not? I think I'll try once tonight, I don't think it'll be too desperate because I DID afterall tell her I'd call back on my message 2 nights ago. Soo yeah, I'll try tonight, if she doesn't pick up again I'll just hang up...then maybe just keep trying to make small convo with her anytime I see her at school, like we're friends.

Oh btw, something I haven't counted out is that she may be scared about having a boyfriend for the first time. If that's true, it's probably best to respect that and move on, rather than to try to show her all the fun things about it, right? Last thing I want to be is forceful.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

Wait.

So did you ask her out?

 

[jcb1772]

nah, only asked for the number.

Still dunno what to do at this point, she continues to act a little uneasy around me (what happened to the happy excited girl when I asked for the number?). I'd call, but now I don't really know what to say, and since I already called twice over the weekend it may seem desperate. Gah. Well, I'll get class time to work (=talk) with her on Friday...maybe I should just get ready to make convo then.

Haven't really thought about this until now, but it is ok to ask one of her friends what's going on? She was with one friend when I asked for the number...maybe ask that friend if the girl's interested or not? I mean, the friend already knows I got the number, and that it obviously hasn't worked out yet. I mean, yeah I got a reason to wonder about it...but that could come off bad too.

 

[{I}os-Buddha]

"Haven't really thought about this until now, but it is ok to ask one of her friends what's going on? She was with one friend when I asked for the number...maybe ask that friend if the girl's interested or not? I mean, the friend already knows I got the number, and that it obviously hasn't worked out yet. I mean, yeah I got a reason to wonder about it...but that could come off bad too."

from my personal experience....you definitely DO NOT want to ask her friend if she is interested. There is absolutely no way that the friend wont tell the girl that you asked, and that can only make you seem like you care too much/are needy etc.

Plus I can't see what good would come out of it; just assume she likes you. Her acting "uneasy" one day means NOTHING. Just ask her out however you want, and stop worrying so much. If she says no, then you know can next her...basically its just a lot better in every way if you just go ask her out then asking her friend if she likes you.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

jcb1772,

Don't waste anymore time. You asked for her number with the intention of taking her out.... if anything, she maybe uneasy because she's expecting you to take her out.

Dude, you asked for her number in front of another girl?? Kudos!!

Don't ask her friend....she already likes you. Remember, she gave you her number?? She doesn't give her number to any Tom, Dìck, and Harry.....

If you have anymore questions, you can pm me or just IM me.