Good advice neeed before I react

[neil27264]

Hi Guys and happy Christmas to everyone.

Need a few opinions on something please, as I am tempted to overreact here.

45 and live in the UK, seperated for 3 years and have two kids.

Been dating a woman similar age to me in similar situation on and off for nearly three years. Relationship seems a bit one sided, we tend to see each other when it's convenient to her. Sex is great but things always seem to be on her terms. She broke up with her husband early in the fall, and this is her 1st Christmas alone. She also has a cousin she is real close to who is dying of cancer and has only weeks to live. Knowing she is struggling emotionally with all this I have been ok with giving her space and taking a 'back-seat' the past few weeks. We spoke on the phone today but that really is our only contact over the holiday. Apart from a coffee on Wednesday. Next Friday a mutual friend is having a 50th birthday house party and has invited her and her kids. I am not invited, but I am not as close to this guy who by the way is happilly married. So I am not offended by that. I am a bit pissed at the fact that when I asked her if we were going together as an item, she replied that it was too soon for me to spend time with her and her kids, yet it seems a real good chance to meet them and not have a full on 'in your face' situation with them. Also She said it is not really her place to ask If I can go too. I would have thought that if she is really into me as she says then she would have made the effort and said to the guy, look me and Neil are an item now and is it ok to bring him along? Am I been all afc and insecure here or am I right to be pissed about this? Not sure how to react.

Or should I react at all.

Neil

 

[AAAgent]

you're over reacting to the situation. Why are you so eager to become a part of her life anyway. Be happy with your life first and what you have and enjoy your holidays. No one will want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with themselves. Women also should be looking to become a part of your life not the other way around. She's already had one failed marriage, she doesn't want to bring another guy in that's just going to disappear from her kids life again as well. These things take time, so the more u pressure her the more you pushing her away from making these decisions. Take it slow, let it go at her pace while u do your things at your pace. Just wish her and her family a happy and safe holiday. Tell her to enjoy her time with them and you'll see her when u see her. Women hate pressure when they themselves have sh1t going on.

 

[neil27264]

Thanks AAAgent, good advice and I will act on it. Just needed to hear it from someone.