Going Out Alone

[LoneStar]

A little background here. I don't go out much since most of my mates are now married and caged at home. When I do go out, I venture out alone unless on a date. Some have said that going to a bar or club is weird, especially if you, like me, don't drink. I look upon it differently. I am not shy about going out alone, in fact in many ways I enjoy it. I can come and go as I please and don't have to follow the crowd. Besides that, I have the self confidence to pull off going out alone. I am able to strike up conversations with the ladies with no problem.

Again though, I have been told that most ladies that are in a club avoid men who are apparently in the club alone. They feel that a guy out and about alone must be a creep and doesn't have any friends to hang with. With this in mind, it does seem that when chatting with the ladies, and they find I am out by myself they tend to become withdrawn and distant. I have experimented by saying that I was waiting for someone or the people I came with are wandering around. When I say this, there doesn't seem to be that tension, but if I say I am there by myself, I might as well just kiss it off.

What are your opinions? Is there actually a stigma about going out alone or am I reading more into the situation?

 

[bigneil]

I have been told that most ladies that are in a club avoid men who are apparently in the club alone. They feel that a guy out and about alone must be a creep and doesn't have any friends to hang with.

This is what beta males say as they hump their bro's leg at the bar. Reality is, it's super easy if you look good. Women will invite you to their table.

Women love men who go out alone because they are easier to approach. The odds of a man and woman finding a true match are rare. The odds that she and her friend are the ideal match for you and your friend is next to impossible, and the odds decrease exponentially the more people you bring. A woman will only want to pick up a man that most of her friends like, and being alone lets them focus on whether they like you versus your entourage. Most of your guy friends will try to compete with you anyway.

Oh and guys, thank you for not bringing 5 other guys to the bar just to prove you have human beings who don't laugh at you in public.

The best places to go out alone are a restaurant (sit at the bar), the pool table or dart board (if you are good).

 

[LoneStar]

This is what beta males say as they hump their bro's leg at the bar. Reality is, it's super easy if you look good. Women will invite you to their table.

Women love men who go out alone because they are easier to approach. The odds of a man and woman finding a true match are rare. The odds that she and her friend are the ideal match for you and your friend is next to impossible, and the odds decrease exponentially the more people you bring. A woman will only want to pick up a man that most of her friends like, and being alone lets them focus on whether they like you versus your entourage. Most of your guy friends will try to compete with you anyway.

Oh and guys, thank you for not bringing 5 other guys to the bar just to prove you have human beings who don't laugh at you in public.

The best places to go out alone are a restaurant (sit at the bar), the pool table or dart board (if you are good).

I have seen guys loose out because of the company they keep when going out. One guy may be decent but his friend who is acting like a complete jackass blows everything.

 

[sports0705]

I was wondering the same. I am just getting back into the game now (getting divorced), but all of my friends are engaged/married/have kids and never go out. Oddly, I also don't drink. I'm mostly commenting here so I can see other replies.

 

[The Duke]

I've had women compliment me for going out by myself. I'm not shy about telling them if they ask and they typically see it as a display of confidence.

 

[Trump]

Again though, I have been told that most ladies that are in a club avoid men who are apparently in the club alone. They feel that a guy out and about alone must be a creep and doesn't have any friends to hang with. With this in mind, it does seem that when chatting with the ladies, and they find I am out by myself they tend to become withdrawn and distant. I have experimented by saying that I was waiting for someone or the people I came with are wandering around. When I say this, there doesn't seem to be that tension, but if I say I am there by myself, I might as well just kiss it off.

What are your opinions?

Bro it seems like you want to convince yourself and want validation from us saying it's OK to go out alone. What we say doesn't matter. If we told you it's creepy and stupid to go out alone but you picked 2 actresses doing it, would it matter?

They ladies at the club have already given you the answer.

 

[bigneil]

I go to bars alone because of a small circle, and people do seem to notice when you don't drink.
I choose not to drink, unless someone force buys me a drink, and people point it out to me, in a tone that sounds like Im weird for not drinking.

I normally just smile it off and tell them I don't like it and leave it at that.
Sometimes if I'm feeling right, I'll joke about it and tell them that it sounds like they want to take advantage of me

I havent much about being alone, when I do, I tell them that I enjoy myself alone, or that I'm treating myself to a date

Just order a Fiji (bartenders don't care because it costs the same as a beer) and you get a glass with ice and a lime. Nobody can tell whether it's vodka or water.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

To be fair, most people in public don't really give a fck who you are nor who you're with. You'll only creep them out if you act like a creep. If you're fun and carefree and have the right attitude, people will want a bit of that energy. Go out to enjoy yourself and people will participate in your enjoyment. Like attracts like.

Personally, I've had as much, if not more success with women when out alone than when with mates. I love a ;ads' night out, but essentially, they are competition and distractions for both you and your target audience.

Go out with the mindset to meet people and enjoy their company opposed to going out solely to get laid. If you're going out solely with the mindset to pull women, it will be written all over your face - then and only then will you be the creep.

You problem isn't a lack of friends, it's just another manifestation of a fear of rejection.

 

[playa99]

I have been guilty of going out socially exclusively with friends throughout my life. I do believe it holds you back. There will always become a point where you want to go places/do things your friends don't want to. Friends can get in the way of hooking up as well. I've lost many chicks to nonsense from friends.

When you live in the same area all of your life, the pressure just isn't there to build up a social circle, it is already inbuilt from an early age.

Mold your friends around your life, not the other way round. I am trying new sports & when I find one I want to do, I will socialize within that sport.

When you are in school, you automatically have commonality with everyone there and in essence a miniature society in its own right. You can bond over being at the same school regardless of each person's specific interests.

This is great but can also be confusing when you graduate and go out into the real world. Follow your passions in life and the friends will come. Have the confidence to put yourself out there!

 

[Bokanovsky]

A little background here. I don't go out much since most of my mates are now married and caged at home. When I do go out, I venture out alone unless on a date. Some have said that going to a bar or club is weird, especially if you, like me, don't drink. I look upon it differently. I am not shy about going out alone, in fact in many ways I enjoy it. I can come and go as I please and don't have to follow the crowd. Besides that, I have the self confidence to pull off going out alone. I am able to strike up conversations with the ladies with no problem.

Again though, I have been told that most ladies that are in a club avoid men who are apparently in the club alone. They feel that a guy out and about alone must be a creep and doesn't have any friends to hang with. With this in mind, it does seem that when chatting with the ladies, and they find I am out by myself they tend to become withdrawn and distant. I have experimented by saying that I was waiting for someone or the people I came with are wandering around. When I say this, there doesn't seem to be that tension, but if I say I am there by myself, I might as well just kiss it off.

What are your opinions? Is there actually a stigma about going out alone or am I reading more into the situation?

I think your observations are generally correct. There is a stigma attached to men who go out alone, which is unfortunate considering that going out by yourself has a umber of advantages.