God damn, I am THE MOST boring person ever (with certain girls anyway)

[jaybeezi]

Wow, I have talking to this hb8 on the phone a little here and there, we have talked in person before, and it was ok, the phone conversations are pretty good. But I just got back from going on a walk through the park with this hb8, and I think my boringness made her IL drop like 90%.

Everybody here talks about doing a little fluff talk and some c&f, and then this and that etc... well all I got is fluff talk, I could not think of a damn thing to say. I am so pissed off at myself right now. She commented a few times on the quietness, and I was just like, uhh hmm yea.

So what is it, people tell me I am quiet, but after I get really comfortable around someone (like my good friend, but I have known him for 12 years so...) I am fun to be with, a good conversationalist, but I just clam up at first, and even if I have good things to say, I say them in a way that it is very obvious that i'm not quite sure of what I should be saying.

I really need to stop this NOW.

 

[Gonzalo]

hello. I'm also like that, or used to be. My personality is generally quiet, "yet not quite" (sorry, I had to say that...). But something that helped me just unleash the person I am with people I already know when I am with strangers is figure the type of humor and stuff I talk about w friends and use it with the other people.
Say I like George Carlin style of comedy, u know, shoking statements, and I may just throw some of that, or sarcastic remarks. Everyone's different. If the girl is interested she WILL make an effort on some level to help you avoid awkwardness; if the girl just sits there with a butt-face waiting for you to entertain her, then I'm not sure thats what you're looking for. Anyways, I know it's a cliche but go with the flow, half the battle is won by getting your ass there and initiating the talk. Good luck. G

 

[DX_Flyer]

hey, ignore that guy. Replying with that shi t doesnt make him any better than you are.

Anyhow, your problem is because your not comfortable with what you wanna say, so you just dont say anything. Look man, saying anything is better than saying nothing. Saying nothing only brings you here and you vent about how yourself.... If you said anything at all, there could've been a possibility to trigger a convo.

Your not charasmatic and confident so you put your head down and are too afraid of what people are gonna judge you by. Learn to get comfortable around people really fast or your just gonna end up coming here again and hear people like FreeStyleZ who is of no help at all, just wasting time.

 

[Don of Truth]

Do not fear your own experience. Because you were quite does not mean it is wrong or should be avoided.
Bring her into your world.

You could have said something like:

Yes, I am quite....it's interesting that you notice, I wonder...what is it like FOR YOU when you find yourself in a quite mood, away from distractions of everyday busy life....

Bring her into your world.

Next time you are at a loss for words you could always say:
"I'm at a loss for words right now...have you ever had that happen to you..what does it feel like FOR YOU"


See ? not that bad

 

[il_duce]

If there is a lull in the convo, ask her a question. About anything.

From what I've noticed, even when you just ask people tons of questions, they often find you very interesting to talk to.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Start reading books and become well versed on various topics of interest. Keep up to date on current affairs.

Do an activity where you are not expected to entertain her with your wit!! Bowling or flying a kite!

 

[Evil-Rom]

Try reading the Conversation part of the DJ Bible.

There should also be tips in the Tips Section, such as Nouning

 

[jaybeezi]

Thanks for everybody's input, I like that 2nd one Don, i'll use that.

 

[Cold Heartbreaker]

I feel the same as you Jay. In fact, we have the same age.

People always tell me that I am quiet, almost never talk etc..The fact is, im a naturaly introverted person and the only way to change this is talking to more and more strangers everyday until the point where you doesnt care if the person is liking your conversation or not. You have to feel very relaxed as when you are talking to your mother for example, the subject must flow naturally, you have to stop thinking of what to say and just say something even if it is stupid.

There is a thread I started yesterday on the same subject on the following adress:

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/guests

GENERAL/OBSTACLE IN BECOMING A PUA

Check it out!

- Cold Heartbreaker

 

[LuckyStrike]

First off, you have to consciously make the choice that you are going to be more outgoing and you will do whatever it takes to be that type of person. I realize this sounds easy but without doing this, you will never be the person you want to be. It's like trying to quit smoking cigarettes, if deep down you really don't want to for whatever reason(relaxes you, social acceptance or what have you), you'll never achieve that goal. You have a roadblock in your mind that comes up everytime you are around women. Now you have already stated that this is not the case when you are with your friends, so try to catch yourself when you feel this roadblock coming on. Remind yourself that these chics are just people too with weaknesses, insecurities, hang-ups, etc. and try to remember how you feel when you are with your friends and how comfortable you feel to say anything.

Like what was said previously, get out and start approaching and don't worry about the outcome. Just remember with each rejection you get, it only makes you stronger. Learn from these mistakes and move on, don't let anything or anyone stop you from being the person you want to be.

 

[jaybeezi]

She was also being very quiet, not saying much other than answering the questions I was asking, I know you would say low IL, but we were supposed to go have lunch earlier that day, and there were things that happened on both sides, and that didnt happen.

So she had to go drive her sister to modesto (2hrs away) and didnt have much time, but She asked me if I wanted to go walk in the park, and we talked the night b4, her phone kept goin out, and every time she called me right back, she called me like 30 times in an hour.

hindsight is 20/20, do you guys think it would have been good when she asked why I was being so quiet I should have said something like, I dont know, why arent u saying anything?, U invited me here, your supposed to be entertaining me.

Say it playfully of course, in a C&F kinda way.

 

[Don of Truth]

Originally posted by jaybeezi

hindsight is 20/20, do you guys think it would have been good when she asked why I was being so quiet I should have said something like, I dont know, why arent u saying anything?, U invited me here, your supposed to be entertaining me.

Say it playfully of course, in a C&F kinda way. [/B]

Well, I would at least suggest you remove the "I don't know" from the "I dont know, why arent u saying anything?, U invited me here, your supposed to be entertaining me."

Because, isn't the truth that you DO know ? If you do know, don't say you don't.
If you simply say " hmm, that's a good question...but, what I want to know is...why arent u saying anything?, U invited me here, your supposed to be entertaining me."

Here, you are not only showing her that her question is valid but you turn it around without even having to even ANSWER it ! On top of that you show that what you are thinking is more important.

NOW..say this in a playful manner. Involve some facial expresions. Give the ol' eye brow lift and maybe a nudge on the shoulder.
Mainly...have FUN.

 

[willtmail]

Hey jaybeezi,

Don't feel bad - it's something that happens, not just with women, but during interviews and any time the situation is important. I agree with DX_Flyer when he says it's a problem with feeling comfortable about yourself. Though, DX_Flyer (or anyone else), do you have any concrete suggestions as to how to do what you've suggested (about being comfortable and not caring)?

Jay, you know that if you feel good and don't care, it just happens. It's frustrating when I can c/f the fvck out of UGs but I can only fluff with the most boring bs when I'm attracted to the slut.

 

[DJ_Dork]

you only have good conversations with people that are comfortable with you. if someone isn't comfortable with you or talking at all even if you've known them for quite a while. ditch'em.