"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Giving this adventure thing a try...

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...after reading countless threads on here about facing your fears in various thrill or adventure seeking concepts, I think I'm going to try certain pet projects to see if pursuing these types of adventures has any impact at all on my inner game or tolerance of risk or rejection pertaining to approaching or talking to girls, or would be of practicable help of having a story to talk about that would automatically DHV when I start telling stories.

Some adventure concepts include:

- Learning to swim and overcoming fear of water. (childsplay - but I really cant swim).
- Rock-climbing. (not very interested in this)
- Learning to ride a motorcycle. (Bible_belt suggested this one many times)
- Going to an amusement park that has crazy thrill rides and going for the craziest rides. (teen stuff -- but I really am afraid of some rides and I never went on them and it's inexpensive)
- Solo-Skydiving. (death-wish? safety records sound encouraging)
- Certain airplane lessons (currently enrolled).
- Helicopter / Hot air balloon (seems weak).

The concept is that they are fun in of themselves, they challenge some sort of psysiological fear, and heck, if you can pull a skydiving off or spin a plane, etc... and STILL be too afraid to approach women for fun, or have a story to talk about, then, I don't know what I can say.

But, I noticed this concept was made by other people, and I have just noted it recently as something that could be helpful at either indirectly, by cultivating an adventurous personality that would be attractive to women, or directly, by having an actual story of some adreline pumping behaviour.

If it doesn't work out as being effective in any way to attract women, well, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have a good-time.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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StevenR

Senior Don Juan
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The concept is that they are fun in of themselves, they challenge some sort of psysiological fear, and heck, if you can pull a skydiving off or spin a plane, etc... and STILL be too afraid to approach women for fun, or have a story to talk about, then, I don't know what I can say.
I not only did spins and other acrobatic maneuvers in airplanes, I taught student pilots how to recover from spins, and I am still afraid to approach women, so it didn't help me any unfortunately.
Helicopter / Hot air balloon (seems weak).
A helicopter weak, are you kidding!? I would love to get certified to fly a helicopter, I took a few lessons and they are awesome fun. They are just so damned expensive especially with fuel costs these days.
 

theunflushables

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Wow, Luke, I don't think I've ever agreed with you on anything, but I think its an awesome idea for you to face your fears and learn to get over them. And remember the riskier the activity (perceived risk or real) the less every day trivial things will get to you. Good luck.
 
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