Giving A Woman Orders During Sex

[AlexDP]

It's something I struggle with I've noticed. I've been in a relationship for about a month now and it seems to be heading for a LTR. Which, at this point, is fine by me. I have enough experience under the belt to know that if things don't work out there is a reason for that and the world doesn't end. Right now however, I have to say that even objectively speaking (I mean factors such as hobbies, education, interests.. things you know) there are a lot of reasons this girl and I get along. So about the relationship part I'm happy.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm also happy about the sex part. It is pretty damn good actually. But I've noticed that sometimes, when I don't say much, she asks me what I want her to do. So lately I've been a bit more dominant, which I do like, and there have been times I've told her exactly what to do. Sometimes however I feel a bit uncomfortable. For example: I don't ask her for a *******, I tell her to give me a *******. Obviously if she would refuse, that's her right. She does do it and so far I think she's cool with it and might even like the fact I order her around, but there are times I'm thinking "I hope she doesn't take this the wrong way".

Maybe this is some form of male shame or this could also be about the fact that society always tells us that we should ask the girl what she likes and ask for things sexually speaking. I don't know. I wonder if any of you have had the same feeling, where you tell a girl what to in the bedroom, but are a wee bit uncomfortable with your own dominant side. For what it's worth, I do think that in essence it's what I should be doing and I think she likes it too.

 

[TheJazz]

It's a thing of nature. She likes it, you like it. Keep doing it.

 

[bigneil]

Ordering them around is the key to great sex. They'll admit they want to be led after they choose you.

 

[Die Hard]

Just keep doing it. After a while, it will feel as natural as taking a piss.

 

[49au]

Maybe you're just subconsciously worried that she is too passive to ever express her own desires, and as a result, you won't fulfill them, and she will leave.

But if that is the case, it's a flaw in her that you can do nothing about. But as others have said, maybe you are just experiencing a woman who truly loves her femininity and wants to be dominated by a man.

Is she balanced and reasonably assertive outside the bedroom? That is probably the more important question.

 

[AlexDP]

Maybe you're just subconsciously worried that she is too passive to ever express her own desires, and as a result, you won't fulfill them, and she will leave.

But if that is the case, it's a flaw in her that you can do nothing about. But as others have said, maybe you are just experiencing a woman who truly loves her femininity and wants to be dominated by a man.

Is she balanced and reasonably assertive outside the bedroom? That is probably the more important question.

Yes and no. She knows what she wants, yet she says a man should take the lead. Which I have no problem doing. If she doesn't want to do something however, I am fairly sure that she would say so. She's very balanced and reasonably assertive, she often asks me out as well. But I am sure she wants to be dominated by man and when I up the dirty talk she is turned on instantly.

In any case, she's definitely not a nutjob and is in fact very rational, yet also very feminine. The main reason this feels uncomfortable for me, I think, is that one needs a lot of confidence to truly dominate a woman in the bedroom. Also, when you're raised as a boy, you're always told to be careful with girls, so ordering them around, even if it comes natural, feels a bit weird at first.