Give me some insight PLEASE

[rocksoff]

I came onto this site not to long ago with the decision that I would get the female part of my life under control.....pretty quickly I went from no girls to getting any girl I wanted...so last night a girl ive known for few years and hooking up with since I found this site pretty much asks me to be exclusive with her and be her boyfriend "officially" so i gave her my usual talk of we dont need a label and what not which she usually just rolls with.......the truth is I wouldnt mind being with her but I dont want to **** it up with her and get to close and let my "guard" down and end up losing her, from what ive seen and read as soon as guys get to close thats when the girl gos running......she called me out on it(not in an argument kind of way) and said you can never love anyone if your always trying to protect yourself and all this other stuff that got me thinking about myself and what I really want....and thats one girl that loves me ****s me and is a good friend ....which is exactly what this girl is...which is where my problem comes in, I can be a player don juan whatever when im single but I have no clue how to handle a girl in a long term relationship....how can I love a girl without becoming a chumpAFC whatever you call it? ....im sure someone understands where im coming from and any advice would be much appreciated

 

[bachelor]

Seems like this girl is a little bit controlling of you. The truth is you it's tough to handle a girl in a relationship. You seem like you want to be single. I would handle the situation by telling her you are not looking for a relationship right now and you want to meet other people. You keep it open for the future which is a good thing!

 

[COD]

dont have a relationship.........NO GUY SHOULD BE EXCLSIVE TIL AT LEAST 29.

SHEESH so many women to have sex with and your caught up by one

 

[On Point]

First off, you have to make up your own mind about whether you want to have a relationship with the girl. It seems pretty obvious from your post that you do.

Just like you have to learn to PU woman by approaching, you have to learn how to have a relationship with a woman by having relationships with women. You don't trust yourself not to screw it up and you're afraid of being hurt, all of which is pretty natural, but if you want to give it a go with her you'll have to take the risk and trust her a little bit.

The problem guys have in relationships is they get oneitus and starting doing all the stupid AFC things again. You have to keep your perspective. You can be exclusive with her, but don't lose balance in your life. Keep doing the things you want to do, don't see her everyday, don't buy her gifts, don't make everything about her. Keep her guessing a little bit, still qualify, don't be super predictable. In other words, the basics.

Don't let her get lazy either, show her that just because you're exclusive doesn't mean she can treat you differently (in a bad way) and keep you.

In terms of how you go about it, maybe keep reading this site each week as an "insurance policy". Hopefully that will remind you of all the stuff you should and shouldn't be doing.

Good luck.

I came onto this site not to long ago with the decision that I would get the female part of my life under control.....pretty quickly I went from no girls to getting any girl I wanted...so last night a girl ive known for few years and hooking up with since I found this site pretty much asks me to be exclusive with her and be her boyfriend "officially" so i gave her my usual talk of we dont need a label and what not which she usually just rolls with.......the truth is I wouldnt mind being with her but I dont want to **** it up with her and get to close and let my "guard" down and end up losing her, from what ive seen and read as soon as guys get to close thats when the girl gos running......she called me out on it(not in an argument kind of way) and said you can never love anyone if your always trying to protect yourself and all this other stuff that got me thinking about myself and what I really want....and thats one girl that loves me ****s me and is a good friend ....which is exactly what this girl is...which is where my problem comes in, I can be a player don juan whatever when im single but I have no clue how to handle a girl in a long term relationship....how can I love a girl without becoming a chumpAFC whatever you call it? ....im sure someone understands where im coming from and any advice would be much appreciated