Girls forgetting about dates

[IShotTheSheriff]

Hi everyone.

I happend to me more than once lately that girls forget our dates AND to make matters worse show a lack of respeckt afterwards.

With one girl I set up a date in the town - we decided to meet there and look for a nice restaurant to get something to eat. I arrived to the point of 7pm, waited for about 10 minutes then tried to call her. Noone answerred, but about 2 minutes alter I got a text massage just saying "I am so sorry I totally forgot about you blablabla". I just texted back she`d better think of a way to make it up to me - never heared of me again.

Another girl asked me to help her with a presentation. She seemingly gave me a lot of IOIs and I liked her , she made an effort to fit this within my scedule so I said yes. When I arrived she just said she had forgotten about our "appointment". She tried to have a little chat with me, but got more than once totally distracted by her roommates. I even asked her something, but she seemingly didnt care because her roommates were way more interesting. At this point (being only 3 or 4 minutes there) I decided to not waste more of my time and told her that I am going to a facultyparty now and left.

So what the **** is going on here? I am planning all my dates by the book - I dont use chats or text messages - I set them up by phone or the last one even in person. I am not someone who is known to run after woman. They know i am patient and kind - but in well defined and healthy boundries what they know as well.

So what is the reason that girls which seem nice and show lots of IOIs in one moment suddenly morph into girls which seemingly dont care about and show you lots of disrespect ?

 

[Vice]

Why do you feel the need to go to a nice restaraunt with a girl? She probably flaked because she got a vibe from you that you expected something else from her for buying her a meal. Never a good way to start off any kind of relationship.

As for the second girl, I would have just straight up left.

I'd venture that you're not the kind of guy who women consider memorable, since they're "forgetting" about you so often, even when you're in the same room with them. The kind of guy that blends in easily.

Do you dress well? Do you have a commanding voice that carries? Do you have a presence in the room, where as soon as you walk into a room all the girlies are subtly competing for you?

Become the kind of guy that a woman wouldn't dare disrespect. And until you become that guy (you'll know because it'll stop happening so frequently), don't react to it because that will come across as incongruent. Leave gracefully, because she did you the favor of giving you social feedback.

It's similar to when a guy approaches a girl, bombs out, and then says something nasty to her because he's butthurt that he got shot down. obviously him being "nice" was incongruent, the girl sensed it, then he showed his true frustrated, angry self by being nasty.

 

[IShotTheSheriff]

Of cause since the lack of respect seems to be the basic problem here I am shure your advice would help a lot Vice.

But it sounds like someone has to become the pure alpha male in every moment, every situation an in every group, which is impossible.

But I guess there is a way to be a respected person without going so far to become a real drillinstructor?

 

[bigneil]

"it sounds like someone has to become the pure alpha male in every moment"

How true. It genuinely seems that women have a one-strike and you're out policy when it comes to a man expressing any emotions, acting jealous, or acting frustrated - even just once over the course of 3 months - and yet they will put you through 1000 tests to deliberately bring out that side of you. They keep a permanent list of every little time you act human.

We have those feelings for a reason. They are normal. Women talk about equality but they are the only ones who are allowed to be emotional. On the contrary, real men are the ones who aren't afraid to admit that they cry sometimes.