Girlfriend: "What if one day you find someone better than me?"

[Fela Kuti]

Hi guys,

This never happened to me, but what if one day my gf asks a question like that? Honestly, I want the best person I can possibly get, but if I answer honestly, I don't think it's wise. Thanks.

 

[backbreaker]

The question in it's premise is not fair.

you are assuming that she would not do the same thing, like by her asking the question, she's somehow not eligible to leave if she found someone better.

Tell her honestly, i'd probably leave, just like you would leave if you found someone much better than me. But as long as you keep doing what you did to make me want to date you, there won't be anyone better

that way you get 1. the truth out and 2. you get an "awww you are so sweet" moment/kiss/nookie.

 

[Scars]

The question in it's premise is not fair.

you are assuming that she would not do the same thing, like by her asking the question, she's somehow not eligible to leave if she found someone better.

Tell her honestly, i'd probably leave, just like you would leave if you found someone much better than me. But as long as you keep doing what you did to make me want to date you, there won't be anyone better

that way you get 1. the truth out and 2. you get an "awww you are so sweet" moment/kiss/nookie.

Agreed. Be honest with her, but also tell her what she wants to hear. You don't ALWAYS have to tell your girlfriend the truth. You could also take the approach of just saying "that won't ever happen, you're the only girl I want" blah blah.. but one important lesson I learned is that it doesn't really matter what your words say, it's what you say with your actions. You can tell a girl you love her, and want to be with her forever, and anything an AFC would say, but if your actions aren't consistent with it (you ignore her at times, are hard to get a hold of, indifferent etc...) then it doesn't matter, (but they LOVE it and it confuses the fvck out of them). And in all honesty, this is what girls want. Tell them what they want to hear at that moment, so they FEEL good/special, and then continue to do what you do (occasional distance/indifference), and she will love you forever (maybe).

You should always keep a girl on her toes, but remember you have other tools in your arsenal other than words. And you also don't have to cheat/pay mind to other women to remind her that you have other options. If you know what I mean.

Your gf is simply looking for reassurance right now. Be honest, but soften it up and tell her what she wants to hear at the end of it. In backbreaker's example, the only part your girlfriend is going to listen to is "But as long as you keep doing what you did to make me want to date you, there won't be anyone better", women have selective hearing like that.

-Scars

 

[Stagger Lee]

It's funny how women have free reign to ask a crap question like that, but the male is the one under pressure to answer it "correctly". If a man asked that question, it'd be the "wrong" question and he'd lose. It's like women can thrown any crap out there without any negative consequence, but a man has to solve a puzzle in only answer and ask the righ things. I'm not a C+F junky but this is a time where a C+F answer is probably most effective.

 

[bigneil]

If you found a girl who is better than her, you'd take her - if you could. Big if. Water seeks its own level. Women and men both try to get the best partner they can. Most couples feature a man and woman of about equal attractiveness (normalized to their local environment).

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

This is an example of when you should lie. If you do happen to meet someone better you can cross that bridge when you get there.

But the bottom line is it's an inappropriate question to ask a companion and an honest answer will result in hurt feelings over an unnecessary theoretical question.

 

[macagent]

Fela Kuti would never need to ask a question like that. Impostor!

:trouble:

Seriously tho, get out of your head. What if? What if she sleeps with someone else? What if she turns gay? What if the Earth crashes into the Sun??? I mean really, you can "what if?" yourself into complete paralysis. Be here now. Live for the moment, and stop projecting negativity where there is none. Deal with the eventuality of this question when you get there, not before. The "right" answer is completely dependent on where you are in your life when the question is asked anyway. So, go use your brain cycles for something more positive and fun in the mean time!

 

[tryst type]

This comes down to how well you can shake off questions like this humorously with truth sprinkled in. IMO she wants to feel like you could leave whenever you want especially if she's not up to par to your liking.

I'd respond with something like "we'll cross that bridge when and if we ever get there" with a slight sly smile followed by a kiss

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

"What if one day you find someone better than me?"

"Well, if it comes to that lets just hope you've been keeping up with your cardio workouts and took those pole dancing classes i asked you to ok?"

 

[chanceless]

"What if one day you find someone better than me?"

you just turn to her slowly look her deep in the eyes and say slow and with a low voice " There is no one better than you" and then take her in your arms

i bet the only reason she asks you is that she need to know that you still care and even if you don't she will be happy for the moment, and your relation ship will break anyway, nothing last for ever