Ok I've been dating this girl. We have both told each other that we were starting to develop feelings for each other. We have had and sex and I've spent the night with her a few times. She has mentioned this guy before that lives down the street from her but I never met him. Well last night I went to pick her up and he was there. She introduced us and then he left. She said he wanted to hang out with her tonight but she told him she couldn't because she had a date. So he said he wanted to meet me. She says he is like her little brother. He is 18 and she is 20. She told me they have a weird friendship because he hangs out at her house alot. Which for the most part they are alone. We have talked about cheating and I told her that was one thing that I could not stand. She said she could never do that to me. So I do trust her but it really makes me uncomfortable because he's an attractive guy and we all know how 18 year old guys are. I know very few guys around that age that like to hang out with a girl unless they want something out of it. Also that night we were lying in bed and it was 12:30 and he sent her text asking if she was still up. Which was the 2nd time he texted her that night. They have known each other about a year and I have no idea if they have had sex or not. What should I do? I don't want to be controlling.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Girlfriend has this guy friend? What should I do?
- Thread starter adamw5963
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Not much you can do, her actions and behavior are changing the nature of your relationship with her.
As always, I would take attention away from her and focus on other girls. Once she knows you are valuable to other girls, she'll wake up.
As always, I would take attention away from her and focus on other girls. Once she knows you are valuable to other girls, she'll wake up.
The Gambler
Senior Don Juan
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This other guy might be a total AFC in the dreaded friend zone! HaHaHa!
Based on the info you gave, it's tough to give a direction here. Maybe your gut is telling you something. All I can say is try to maintain your dominant, confident attitude as a sexual male. You both have made it clear that cheating is not tolerable on both your ends, so now get past it and don't revisit that topic unless absolutely necessary.
Keep doing what you did to attract her, and maybe even bump the confidence up a notch or two... For example, the next time he texts in the middle of the night, say something like, "You need to go?" or "Everything OK with Brad?" You are not saying anything bad about the guy (or her), but are actually sounding confident in yourself. And she will give a response to your question as a bonus!
The Gambler
Based on the info you gave, it's tough to give a direction here. Maybe your gut is telling you something. All I can say is try to maintain your dominant, confident attitude as a sexual male. You both have made it clear that cheating is not tolerable on both your ends, so now get past it and don't revisit that topic unless absolutely necessary.
Keep doing what you did to attract her, and maybe even bump the confidence up a notch or two... For example, the next time he texts in the middle of the night, say something like, "You need to go?" or "Everything OK with Brad?" You are not saying anything bad about the guy (or her), but are actually sounding confident in yourself. And she will give a response to your question as a bonus!
The Gambler
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
I don't see too many problems here.
He sounds like a pathetic orbiter AFC m@sturbating over her while using his tears as lube while sitting well and truly in the friend zone.
Maybe she introduced you to him so she could get him to back off. There's also the chance she's a damn attention wh0re using you to pique the other guy's interest or just to get off on two guys chasing her.
Most 18yo guys have no real game. I wouldn't be too worried about him. But go with your gut.
Did she reply to that late night text? Does she text him while she's with you?
If it's obvious she's playing you both off against each other, pull waaaay back.
He sounds like a pathetic orbiter AFC m@sturbating over her while using his tears as lube while sitting well and truly in the friend zone.
Maybe she introduced you to him so she could get him to back off. There's also the chance she's a damn attention wh0re using you to pique the other guy's interest or just to get off on two guys chasing her.
Most 18yo guys have no real game. I wouldn't be too worried about him. But go with your gut.
Did she reply to that late night text? Does she text him while she's with you?
If it's obvious she's playing you both off against each other, pull waaaay back.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How long have you been hooking up with this girl for? If your answer is anytime less than 3 months (minimum), you have no business calling her your girlfriend, let alone being exclusive with this chick. Even if you are not actively pursuing other chicks, you should at least keep your options open.adamw5963 said:
Why? Because of the mindset that freedom gives you. Having a "I don't give a damn" attitude is actually good for the relationship, it will keep the girl on her toes while at the same time getting her more and more into you.
And one of the questions you wouldn't have to ask is "girlfriend has this guy friend, what should I do?"
There yah go.adamw5963 said:
YOU are having sex with her so why are you worried? Hot girls usually will have orbiters. There's a reason YOU are fvcking her while they aren't. My gf has orbiters as well. Am I worried? Not really because I know at the end of the day when they are texting her, my penis is inside of her.