"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Girl with a long distance "relationship" - how to proceed?

The Great One

Don Juan
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So I met a girl recently who just moved down to Florida from NJ two weeks ago. I was introduced to her because I am friends with her roommates. She's been talking to a guy from up there but isn't "dating" him, but is exclusive and she said she won't hook up with anyone while she is down here.

Well I met the girl, hit it off pretty well with conversation and some light flirting, and hung out with her one-on-one on two occasions. First time, I was with her and her roommates just hanging around when the rest of them decided to go to sleep. Me and her stayed up and watched a movie, but ended up just talking and joking the whole time. We were sitting on separate couches and everything (only the second time I met her). The other night I took her out to dinner, had fun, carried a great conversation with some light flirting, and ended up back at her house. Her roommates were all awake so we decided to pop in another movie. This time she sat on the chair with me while the other roommates were on the other couch. The roommates ended up going to sleep and because I was so tired I decided to leave instead of sticking around.

Now the major problem is the LDR. From what I have gathered, he is a big time pu55y. Texts her non-stop, 24/7 about nothing, he has pics of her all over his facebook, etc. When I first met her, she would be wrapped up in his texts but recently when we've been hanging out she just ignores them while we are out.

She shows signs of interest; random playful hits, holds eye contact, lots of smiling and laughing, gave me a cute little attitude when I sat next to her friend one night we went out instead of her, open body language compared to very closed off body language when I first met her.

My question is how should I proceed? Should I keep working this one or ease up off of it for a little bit. From my experience, Long distance never works out and eventually fizzles out. Should I ease off of her for now but stay on the sidelines just enough so that she knows I'm still there? I really don't think I'll be making any advances with this one too soon because of that LDR, but I'm definitely not interested in falling in the friendzone. What should I do my fellow DJs?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Rez

Don Juan
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The Great One said:
I really don't think I'll be making any advances with this one too soon because of that LDR, but I'm definitely not interested in falling in the friendzone. What should I do my fellow DJs?
I completely understand your dilemma. On one hand, a part of you says "Yes, make a move already!" Then your more rational side counters with "Leave it alone, don't come between her and her man!"

Decisions, decisions...

Observe what the situation is telling you. She's not dating the guy but is exclusive to him. This doesn't make sense but remember that everyone has their own definition of "dating."

Secondly, if she decides to become physical with you, who's to say she won't turn around and do the same with another guy behind your back?

How would you feel if the tables were turned and you were the guy waiting for her back home? Guys have this crazy idea that if they don't hit on every girl they're attracted to that she'll automatically put them into the friends category.

Why are you pursuing her anyway? Is it just to prove to yourself that you can get laid or do you actually want to start something meaningful with her, like an LTR of your own? If you're only trying to hook up with her in order to prove something then leave it alone. Don't mess with a good thing.

If it were me, I would just lay low while keeping things fun and lightly flirtatious. Or hell, the next time you two are together just ask her "What's your relationship situation?"

Be sure to pay extra close attention to what she says.

All the best.
 
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