girl wants to go to a club then ignores me

[pyros]

I went on three dates with this 24 years old girl who is cute and pretty funny.
First date small kiss at the end, second date several kisses and small make out, and third date she wanted to go to a salsa club because we both dance and she's a salsa freak. I mean, she told me that dance is her passion, she's danced for 8 years and she goes to salsa clubs to dance several times a week (I go once or twice a week).

The thing that kind of annoys me is that she wanted to go to dance and we agreed that I would go to pick her up, have dinner at a restaurant (we split the bill) and then go this club. By the end of our dinner a female friend of her joined us and then we all went to this club.

But I did not like that for the first 1.5 hours she was all the damn time saying hello to almost everybody, because she knew everyboy. Besides, she danced with dozens of guys so it seemed as if we did not go there 'together' you know? she eventually came to me to dance with me and talk to me, but she was the majority of the time talking to ppl and dancing with guys (which is normal in a salsa club, but if you go with a date I dont find it very ok)
I got a bit annoyed so I did the same. I do know a lot of ppl there as well, not as many as she does, but ok. So I started to talk to some friends, I danced with many girls including hot ones, etc.

After 1.5 hours of both of us doing our own thing (stupid in my opinion since we were on a date you know?) I disappeared for around 15 minutes and then joined her and her female friend's conversation, and from this moment until we left the club it was pretty good. She kept by my side, hugged me, caressed me, we had a lot of fun talking and dancing, etc. She did not mind showing affection in public which is good.

Then at 3:00 am I said that I wanted to go home so we left. We made out a bit in the streets, made out in my car, and I drove her home. She was exhausted and she had to wake up early to do a small trip. Next day she kept texting me the whole day, so far so good.

What I do not understand is...why the the heck did she 'ignore' me for the first 1.5 hours? I mean, if you're on a date and you go to a salsa club, the normal thing to do would be to be by your date's side the majority of the time, not the other way around, dont you think?
I would not have done what she did, its just weird and kind of disrespectful. She 'warned me' that she was a salsa freak, that she danced a lot and that its her passion but...
as I said after the first 1.5 hours she totally changed and it was very good, but...


Any explanations please? thanks.

 

[compleks]

She was probably just in her element and doing what she does.
It was probably just too familiar a setting for a more intimate date.

 

[3agle 3yes]

You're a bit insecure aren't you?

If you wanted her to be by your side the majority of the time you should have gone somewhere where it would've been only the two of you, or a place where she didn't know anybody.

Your mistake was following her in the first place, she easily could've did this without you.

 

[Don-Kong]

She's trying to show you how popular she is and that she's got moves. It shows she's desirable, likeable and not a weirdo.
If you go into her territory, expect sh1t like this. It's game.
Besides women have grown up with the idea of ignoring the guy, making them jealous and showing they don't care. That's all you need to know.

 

[Mike32ct]

She was probably just in her element and doing what she does.
It was probably just too familiar a setting for a more intimate date.

^This. I can totally understand how you felt ignored and left out. But I don't think it was personal or that she meant any disrespect per se. The salsa dance community is like her second family of sorts. Social dancing with people she knows is like catching up with friends or relatives.

If you decide to go to the salsa club with her again, just understand that it won't be very date-like.

I see this in the ballroom community. Some couples dance with their romantic partners exclusively. Other couples mix with others but return to each other regularly. Other couples pretty much forget about their date or spouse for several hours and "work the room" social dancing.

In your case, it sounds like she's in the last category. So don't take it personally. That's her home, her element, and a very serious hobby that she treats like a job.

 

[pyros]

Ok, I understand. Actually, it was the third time that she asked me to go to dance salsa but I avoided it the previous times because it was not a very date-like place to get to know her, so on this third date I agreed.

Anyway, there is another thing with this girl that is kind of annoying because she says that she does not fully trust me, because she's been betrayed in her previous relationship, so she says comments about me having a hidden girlfriend (which is not the case, I might meet another girl but definetely I do ot have any girlfriends), or that I dont want to meet her in public spots (which is not true, see the salsa night?) etc.

It seems she has trust issues, and last night she kind of got upset and tried to play a power game with me saying things like:
her: well you seem too misterious at times, so if you want to see me you're gonna have to gain my trust and work hard lol
me: oh really? Im devastated...

Yes, Im seing another girl but Im gonna dump her either today or tomorrow, so I hope this chick will stop getting paranoid...but, who the heck gets so damn suspicious this early on into a relationship? come on, Ive seen her three times...

 

[compleks]

3 dates and she's talking like that already…

red flag.