"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

Read more...

Girl trying to play me?

matius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
933
Reaction score
0
Hi:

What you think? Went out with this girl a few times and had a really good time. No worries. Then I invite her out with some of my friends...my best friend was along that I live with to.

So everything is going along great at the first place. We go to another club that's usually real cool. Happened to suck that night. My friend wanted to leave...went back to this other place we were at. I just got a drink and atleast wanted to finish it before we left. She asked me if he was alright and if we should go over there. Then another friend came over and said he wanted to leave...so we did. When we got back to the other place she seemed real interested in what my friend was up to.

Then next night the same type of thing. We went out with these girls again. She had a friend along with her. She was being snotty to me while laughing heartily at what my friend said. Agreeing with him, he was agreeing with her. If we started saying something at the same time she would give him the attention (same as night before). I couldn't help but to laugh at the situation.

...but it did piss me off. I do want to hang with this girl and she has potential...but. First off, I don't have time for that. Why would I want to spend time with someone who doesn't dig me? Although she tells me she does. Basically, everything was cool before this weekend. I'm not mad at my friend for trying to act buddy buddy with her. I'd prefer my friends be cool with whoever I date. However, I'm not going to put up this shyte. So what might yout think?

Thanks-
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

JJMcLure

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Messages
840
Reaction score
11
Don't do group dates, keep her isolated.

If she prefers someone else other than you, that's the way it goes. But you don't have to help her find that person by giving her warm intros and some chill time with a bunch of pre-qualified guys (your friends).
 

rjherche

Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
yeah forget the group dates until you have her on lock. Remember that everyone acts at least a little differently in a group setting compared to a one-on-one setting. It's hard to get a good read on her with others around.
 

matius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
933
Reaction score
0
I think I should be able to take someone around my good friends and not have to worry. However, I can't stop the world from spinning.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Genghis Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2003
Messages
355
Reaction score
2
Location
Boston, MA
You must keep dates one-on-one situations until you know explicitly that you two are exclusive. One of the golden rules...
 

matius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
933
Reaction score
0
So you think this situation could be repaired? Or should I let her know what I am thinking...?
 

Dust 2 Dust

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
Messages
2,163
Reaction score
679
Location
Florida
Let her know what your thinking? I say to hell with her. She doesn't deserve it. Showing her respect and kindness didn't work so it's time to up the jerk quotent. Do not call, e-mail, and ignore her and she may come crawling back.
 

matius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
933
Reaction score
0
Dust 2 Dust: I do feel that way, I really do.

See what you need to understand is, we have been hanging out just the two of us for 2-3 weeks. She made it seem as though I had it on lockdown...

Besides, I would expect my friends respect in knowing that I had a girl with me...so they should stay off of it. Like I said though, I cannot stop the world from spinning.

I'm just wondering if she is playing some sort of game- or if it is even that complicated. She tells me she digs me but that had shown a different side just this past weekend.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
963
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
Let's see...

You are not yet 'serious' or 'an item' and she is already doing something to piss you off.

My question is, why are you still asking this girl out? She may be hot, but she is causing you grief. Don't you have better things to do with your valuable time than get frustrated by some girl who you have only been out with a few times?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

matius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
933
Reaction score
0
Yes. I sure do. And I believe that I've handled myself appropriately up until this point. I haven't asked her to do anything since she started acting this way.

I had very little irritation on Friday night, lots of irritation on Saturday night. She tried to diss me in front of my friends and that was basically the last straw. Haven't seen her since.

It was just this weekend that marred the whole thing, before this everything was great.

Even though I've been out with her just for this short time, I still feel that if she went out with my friend I would be filled with anger and jealousy just out of principle. I can't stand that feeling...
 
Top