Girl Trouble

[jazhands]

Hey DJs,

So, I really like this girl and we've hooked up a few times, but she's got quite a few problems. She's a bit anorexic, she's bisexual: leaning towards women, her family is rather dysfunctional, she's into gothic stuff, and she was recently raped. It really sucks. I like her and am attracted to her, but she feels I am moving too fast for her becuase of her ordeal and she does not want to pursue anything. I think I like her to an extent that I'm willing to throw myself out on a limb for her. She has really low self esteem, and the person she sees inside herself is not the person I see. I really want to date her but I don't know how to convince her that I will be there for her. Please give me some advice guys. What do I do to get her to trust me enough to the point where she will go out with me?

 

[TizZle]

Tell her you're going to XYZ at such and such time and ask her if she would like to come along with you. If she comes along work that game. LJBF is a little difficult to turn around. I'm no expert but i think this may be the correct thing to do.

 

[AFK Protector]

Please read the Bible in the top right hand corner. Thanks dude!

 

[christz]

NEXT

that's the solution to everything unknown lol.. at least IMO. i'm tired of playing with fire and not even realizeing it until its to late.. god

 

[NoWayOut]

she's bisexual: leaning towards women...
Please give me some advice guys

Threesome.



No, seriously though, you won't be able to make this girl feel better. Only she will be able to improve her own self esteem. "You can't love someone else until you love yourself." This is true, and from what you've said it doesn't appear that she does, most likely due to all the traumatic things she has had to experience. It sucks, but if I were you I would walk away until she improves on her own (may never happen).

 

[DeathDealer]

While I hate to jump the NEXT trigger, I'm going to have to say NEXT. Do it so RIGHT AWAY.

Why?

1. Bisexual: They tend to be sexually promiscious, cheating (if she's young), and very manipulative. See Angelina Jolie for example.

2. Health problems: She's anorexic, probably has a couple other problems too relating to her anorexia.

3. She recently got raped: Don't be the rescueer, I've dated a girl that was date-raped a couple years ago and she spoke of trying to get revenge on that guy. She turned out to be a nutcase.

Remember boys, you buy into a relationship. You don't build one.

 

[Desdinova]

Please give me some advice guys

Go date a woman who isn't as damaged.

She has really low self esteem, and the person she sees inside herself is not the person I see.

This is an issue she has, and she's the only one who can deal with it. You can't change the way she feels about herself, she has to do that. Don't even bother trying to convince her to get therapy. She has to do that herself.

I don't know how to convince her that I will be there for her.

Don't bother trying. You'll be wasting your time and energy.

What do I do to get her to trust me enough to the point where she will go out with me?

Again, that's her issue. She has to deal with it.

Women with low self-esteem are extremely high maintenance. If you even get to the point of having a relationship with her, it's going to be constantly on the rocks. She'll be telling you, "I don't deserve someone as good as you". The sex will be horrible because she'll be uncomfortable due to her past experience with it. Ever get told to stop while your in the middle of doing it? It sucks.

I wish someone would have given me this advice years ago. I wasted years on a woman like this. You cannot be her knight in shining armour, you can't be her therapist, and you can't be in a stable relationship with her.

Move on. It'll be one of the best things you ever did.