Girl I'm Dating! Please Read!

[alexafcw]

Hi there,

I've been seeing and dating this girl at my uni for about 4 months now. In that time its been developing into quite a serious relationship. However, one thing that i'm increasingly noticing about my girlfriend is the amount of guy friends she has. To start with this didn't bother me however, as we are getting closer i'm starting to dislike it. She has photographs plastered all over her room with her and other guys (who she says are just m8s), she also has a so called guy friend ringing her up on a saturday night to see 'if she wants to go and see a band'. Although I know she's really into me, and the photographs were before we were dating and she doesn't ever go out with her guy m8s I can't help the fact that i'm starting to feel uneasy about the situation. After all would she be happy if I had photographs of me with various girls all over my wall, and for girl m8s to ring me up on a sat night, em I think not! Also a few weeks ago we had a bar crawl, and as with most you get t shirts where you can write on, and I noticed in the photos (not at the time cause i was too pissed lol) that someone wrote 'I love ****' on her neck. I know it sounds pathectic but I can't help feeling rubbish about all this. So far I have been a challenge, used ****y & funny etc to create and sustain attraction however now i really feel for her I'm getting these feelings. What can I do or rather what would you lot do/ think if you were in my situation? Cheers people

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

99% of the girls out there have guy friends like that. Especially at University so there's nothing to be really afraid of. If she started to spend more time with them and less with you, then maybe concern would be welcome but as of right now don't worry about it and for god's sake don't mention any of these insecurities you're having, to her. It will change her perception of you, and not for the better.

She would have gone out with them instead of you if they were more than friends. Stop being a pansy and stop feeling insecure. That train of thought will lead you AFC-dom and eventually will drive her away.

 

[alexafcw]

k

Cheers for the reply. Yeah I see where your coming from, I don't know why I've suddenly started to feel like this! Its really annoying!!! The only trouble is she does know I wasn't too happy about one of her m8s ringing her up on a sat night and also about the bar crawl writing on her with 'i love ****' on her neck. I did tell her I didn't like it on both occasions cause she could sense something was up, but thats all. I just hope her perceptions of me haven't changed by bringing it up. I'm really gonna try and not get jelous but its hard.

 

[jigga23]

dude my ex was like that kind of. she had a lot of guy friends but i sized them up when i saw them and they werent sh*t. ugly dudes that were dorks. you know how you can sense if someone is a dork. so just think to yourself am i better than these guys (looks, life, attitude, etc.) if the answer is yes you will give off the feeling of confidence to her instead of insecurity. sh*t my ex is probably bangin some dude right now but I know the dude is probably a dork and i was the best guy she ever got look wise and attitude wise so i dont really care. When i saw her with her guy friends i didnt give a sh*t cause they werent sh*t. But she did start going to bars and sh*t styaing out late and getting calls from her "guy friends" sometimes like at 2am. So i was like you know what do what you need to do but im not going to be around to see it.you know something along those lines. Or i would negatively reinforce things to her without saying anything to her by just leaving for a while without even telling her (lived with her). just dont show your jealous casue shell use that as a weapon later on if you piss her off and youll get seriously hurt. Overall just say or let her do whatever she wants but if she does something you dont like just say do whatever you want but im not going to stick around so that way youre not telling her what to do your telling her what youre going to do.

 

[Warlord]

Do a search on "Ladder Theory" - I wouldn't worry one bit about her male friends.

The only probs I see with this is like a girl having girlfriends instead of being nicey nice to her girlfriends, you have to make yourself into some alpha male dude or at least try to be equivacable to her male friends.

 

[juanita]

i wonder what did she reply when u complained about a dude calling her on std night and a dude writing stuff on her body? the key is in her reaction on your complains. i think it is normal to express to people u re currently communicating with if u dislike their behavior. it doesn't make u a less alpha man. u tell u don't like smth and if this smth continues going on u know u have to use the door not to become a doormat.