Being on the mature board I'm sure you're aware of, or have already experienced the dynamic that as a woman ages, her sexual marketability (for lack of a better term) declines while a man's marketability increases. Generally a woman is physically as attractive as she's likely to be in her 20's. That's not to say there aren't exceptions or that there aren't hot 35 year old women; it's just an illustration of this subconscious, common understanding that a woman loses potential value sexually as she ages. Sexuality being the prime motivator for selection of a mate for men and a woman's primary agency for selecting a man capable of providing for her security.
Because of this dynamic you hear the common complaint from women in their 30's that they can't find a suitable husband because most of the men their age are persuing younger women in their 20's. Men are responding to a biological imperative and why not? At 35 they've attained a maturity and (hopefully) socio-economic status level that enables them to attract the physically desirable women they had no chance with in their 20's. Most 30+ women simply cannot compete on the same level as a girl 8-10 younger than themselves.
Women respond to this in 2 ways. The 'career' woman, rather than improving herself or altering her mental models to adjust to her situation finds fault in the male. "Why can't guys just grow up?" or "Men are afraid of committment!" and "Their all trying to date little girls in their 20's because of their 'fragile egoes'", she bemoans. It's their fault she's single she thinks while conveniently forgetting that she use the same sexually agency in her 20's.
The second ideology is a shift in priorities. Men and women have conditions for intimacy. Women have at least 4 conditions and as many as 9 depending on their personal situations. A man must be attractive, have confidence, have status (i.e. power), be financially stable, must be the initiator, must be single (though this one is flexible again) and the list goes on, you get the idea. He must have these qualities, or posess an implied potential to have these qualities later in life (i.e. he's studying to become a doctor, etc.) in order for her to consider him for her intimacy. Men have one condition, she must be physically attractive. As women age the priorities for a their conditions for intimacy shift. A woman's looks can afford her to maintain certain priorities of these conditions. As her potential for attraction declines, her conditions for intimacy, logically, are arranged to facilitate her connecting with a potential mate. Whereas in her 20's a man's looks may have been her 1st priority, this condition may now be secondary to a man's ability to provide her security (Money, Status, etc.). Her standards change accordingly, his standards don't change.
Now, to bring this into REALNYCGUY's situation, a former 'friend' suddenly expressing an interest in potential intimacy later in life points more to a rearrangement of priorities rather than a genuine mutual attraction. The nice dependable loyal guy seems a far better fit when it's those qualities that have become a priority for her after 'having her fun' with the men who met with her previous conditions in their respective priorities.
Ultimately what I'm getting at is, is this genuine attraction for her in light of the history of behaviors she's displayed and does REALNYCGUY want to reward her for what may potentially be her settling for him now? It's the 'friends' syndrome written out large over the course of half a lifetime. Most AFC's (my former self included) will regularly delude themselves that the 'friend' they're attracted to will someday remove the blindfold, the clouds will part and then they'll see them for the 'perfect boyfiend' they've given up their live's ambitions to become in order to be what they 'say' they want from a guy. The natural uninterrupted progression of this is being 47 years old, divorced and conveniently becoming attracted to a life-long 'friend', rather than using this new found freedom to date new women.
