Girl doesn't give me her number then Facebooks me

[gov87]

This is why men should avoid Facebook. Sure, you can hookup with it but you're still enabling abhorrent narcissism.

Don't get me wrong I'm a techphile but the further we go down the tech rabbit hole the more distorted social interaction becomes.

Your initial interaction didn't shut the door with her. She just wasn't going to give in easily, which could ultimately mean she wasn't interested, or she wanted you step up your game.

I'd look at this as you need to focus on other women and toss this one to the side and expect nothing.

What you'll see is that when she's out of mind and you're focused on other things she'll come back into your sphere again.

Yeah man, i'm with you on the facebook and social media stuff. It really does complicate things. It can be a great help with so many things such as screening and such, but for the most part I feel that it's not good for dating.

Do you yourself just stay away from all social media? I could also see how this would give yourself time to focus on you rather than seeing everyone else.

 

[The_411]

Yeah man, i'm with you on the facebook and social media stuff. It really does complicate things. It can be a great help with so many things such as screening and such, but for the most part I feel that it's not good for dating.

Do you yourself just stay away from all social media? I could also see how this would give yourself time to focus on you rather than seeing everyone else.

I try my best to stay away from social media. Of course, as a swing trader I do need social media to keep abreast on information, but for social interaction I don't see the point in getting involved in Facebook, twitter, snapchat, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, and any other popular medium to post, tweet, tout, etc some sentiment that the rest of the world doesn't actually care about.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the old man yelling, "Get off my lawn!" I applaud those who use Facebook to hook up and and increase social proof.

Ask yourself what does accepting her friend request really do for you? She dodged your number request and countered with entering her world on her turf on her terms.

She in effect said I'm rejecting you but you can still go here with all the other guys who want to orbit me under auspice that I might one day break their orbiter casing in case of emergency.

With women in general what are you going to do on their Facebook page?

They want you to comment (feed their attention need and validate them).

You could arrange a date through Facebook, but you already tried that and were directed there in this case.

Facebook only shows you what a woman wants you to see whereas organic interaction allows you to get a bigger picture. It still may be incomplete, but women don't have the time to censor their behavior when in the flesh.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I really don't get some of the advice here.

The girl likes you, dude.

1) You didn't fall for any of her **** tests. Caveat: Unless you started apologizing for calling her a beast.

2) You had her complying with your requests i.e. getting you a beer

3) She opens YOU while in line and starts flirting with you with callback humor

4) She pulls YOU into a picture with her. She's making all the moves here

5) The phone number snub was a **** test of sorts. Seriously, dudes are probably on this chick all the time. You are in the same social circle so as long as you don't start chasing her for it then you are golden. She's gonna start wondering why you're not like all the other slobbering chodes.

5) She has you in her mind enough to search for you on Facebook and find you.

All this paranoia about Attention Wh0ring is retarded. Here's what you do in the future. Your mindset is that her pressing that friend request button is implicitly asking you out. You accept her and immediately message "So when did you want to get together?", like its her idea. If she gives you sh1t and doesn't play ball then you just cut the convo and move on. You don't have time for chicks who don't know what they want.

And now you know where she stands and can move on instead of writing threads about it and sitting and wondering.

Then she can watch all the awesome stuff YOU are doing. And the likes YOU get. And the chicks fiending for YOUR c0ck. Her loss. You can just ignore her. Who gives a fvck.

I have a feeling this isn't done though. You'll get another chance. Make sure to seize it. Just don't get too invested. You are in rebound territory.

 

[old_skoolr]

OP to me it sounds you lost your frame with her the moment your mutual friend suggested adding her on facebook. To which you replied "she can add me." You lose alot of mystique when you have girls on Facebook, as they get to see what your like and what you get up to.

Your reply to your mutual friend when she told you to add her on Facebook shouldve been "I don't do Facebook...." This girls a c.ocktease like crazy, yet she probably does like you and is keen for a rebound if she did get out of a relationship. But having her on Facebook, means you fall under the group of orbiters she has already there.

Her not giving your number wasnt a rejection, more of a test to see how you'll take it. Ballsy chick, game on if you want. Just dont message her at all over Facebook. Let her think shes blown the chance with you. But I wouldnt be putting your eggs in this basket.

 

[gov87]

Some more freakin golden advice guys. Thanks.

However, I still see two great points made- one to message her saying so when we hanging out and another to just not message or any other FB crap. So what is it guys?

Btw, met two more ladies tonight with good interest so abundance is building. Love this forum.

 

[old_skoolr]

Dont message her on FB, if she wants to talk, let her talk to you. If you see her out and about then deffs talk to her, but FB is a different thing. I'd focus more on the plates you have and let your mutual friend know your seeing other girls, that way she tells that chick that your seeing other people.

If she's interested then she'll go out of her way to talk to you. If she's not then you move on. Either way, FB has nothing to do with it.

Keep up the good work.

 

[gov87]

Dont message her on FB, if she wants to talk, let her talk to you. If you see her out and about then deffs talk to her, but FB is a different thing. I'd focus more on the plates you have and let your mutual friend know your seeing other girls, that way she tells that chick that your seeing other people.

If she's interested then she'll go out of her way to talk to you. If she's not then you move on. Either way, FB has nothing to do with it.

Keep up the good work.

Appreciate it man.

Now I have another question in regards to facebook- last night I saw a girl I knew from school back in the day. I've known her a while, nothing real close or anything, but I def could tell i had her interest up big time. I was by myself at this bar type live music thing and people kept coming up talking to me while i was beside her so it all went well.

Except, she took off before I got to grab her number. One guy I was talking to said, hey that girl in the striped shirt seems interested in you lol. I could tell she was glancing at me now and then and prob talking with her friend about me. Now, how do I get ahold of her? I don't run into her hardly ever and the only way to contact I can think of is FB. Would it be cool to send a message saying "Hey, good seeing you last night, meant to grab your number last night but didn't catch you before you left" ... or something better?

 

[The_411]

Appreciate it man.

Now I have another question in regards to facebook- last night I saw a girl I knew from school back in the day. I've known her a while, nothing real close or anything, but I def could tell i had her interest up big time. I was by myself at this bar type live music thing and people kept coming up talking to me while i was beside her so it all went well.

Except, she took off before I got to grab her number. One guy I was talking to said, hey that girl in the striped shirt seems interested in you lol. I could tell she was glancing at me now and then and prob talking with her friend about me. Now, how do I get ahold of her? I don't run into her hardly ever and the only way to contact I can think of is FB. Would it be cool to send a message saying "Hey, good seeing you last night, meant to grab your number last night but didn't catch you before you left" ... or something better?

This is a legit reason to use Facebook, but you want to use it to contact to get her number or set up a date. Anything else and you risk being collected for the orbiter collection.

 

[gov87]

This is a legit reason to use Facebook, but you want to use it to contact to get her number or set up a date. Anything else and you risk being collected for the orbiter collection.

Gotcha. Therefore, I'll keep it short and say "meant to get your number last night."